Grrr vent

[Lee-Bee]

Just posting to vent because I have a kid driving me bonkers...almost as much as all the spam posts that are on this site these days.

I have a 14month old. That is 'teething'. I don't doubt he is as he this teeth are few and far between but the family uses teething to explain all his annoying habits and anything out of the norm (10 poops on a saturday was from teething).

When he started 2 months ago he would SCREAM anytime he wasn't first, if he didn't get his food fast enough, he wanted different or more food etc etc. at the drop of a pin he would completely lose it and scream his high pitched, end of the world scream.

He learned quick it got him no where and after a short transition he was an easy going child...that would occasionally start up would would quickly stop with a verbal warning (he remains a screaming banchee at home).

Well with the 'teething' he is back to screaming. Yesterday he was so intense and so fierce that he had all my other children freaked out. We are a very calm and easy going group, they really are not used to crying...especially the high pitched inconsolable crying.

I sent a text home letting them know about hte day and letting them know if he didn't have a good night he may need a day at home as I cannot meet the needs of hte other 4 when he is inconsolable and setting them all off.

They of course are the one family that doesn't get paid time off that can't easily pick their child up and just assume everythign is teething (I truly believe they believe everything is teething related).

Anyways. He is here, having had a good night (of course).

He arrived fine, came to the snack table skrieking before he was in his chair so went down for his morning nap with no snack (he would just scream and throw it anyways so we just skipped that for everyones sake). He slept a good 1.5 hrs. Came down happy, got him into his chair for a mini snack and he started screaming right away so off he went, again with no food.

He has not been eating lately, due to teeth, so his parents sent some purees. I don't give purees but I get that sometimes the teeth just hurt too much to eat solids. I had planned to wait till the others were done their crackers and then to send them off to play while I gave him some purees. BUt, when I ran to get some milks cups for the others...this kiddo made his way to the table, took a cracker brought it over to the carpet and was sitting there happily eating it when I returned with the milk.

Sorry kiddo if you are perfectly fine to eat the same cracker on the carpet that you felt hte need to SCREAM about and ruin snack for everyone not 5min before then no purees for you. As far as I can tell he is just playing his parents for purees and is likely sccreaming here thinking i will do the same.

Now my gut says no purees period he can eat if he wants. BUT i have zero interest in putting him in his char at lunch, offering food that he will just make a mess of and listening to him screaming and having him ruin yet another meal. SO I will likley give him his purees a few minutes before the others eat then ship him off for an early (but longer) nap so the rest of us can eat in peace and enjoy ourselves.

For all his random screaming fits during playtime etc he now goes straight to bed for a 'time out' until he is calm and ready to rejoin us. Unfortunately he will just have to spend a good chunk of his day in the crib should he choose to keep screaming, because his parents opted not to keep him home to give him some attention (another thing he is lacking).

All my other families would leave work immediately if I mentioned their child was unwell, screaming inconsolably or just weren't coping with the day...of course none of those children ever need to be picked up.

[mickyc]

Is it possible his screaming is because he doesn't want to sit at the table and you are giving in to him? For myself I never put a child in their playpen if they are upset. I personally would just leave him in his chair and let him scream. Squeeze his hand firmly to get his attention and firmly tell him to be quiet and eat. Then ignore him.

[Lee-Bee]

Doubt it as today is the first time I took him out of his chair so he shouldn't have expected it. The hand squeezing does nothing with his kid (definately tried that) Tried everything. The odd thing...I put him in his crib and he gets happy as can be and just lies there staring at the monitor camera. It's about the only place he is calm these days...maybe because it is dark and quiet?

I can't ignore it because he is sending all the other kids into histerics and they are not eating because it is so intense and high pitched. I'm on vacation next week so I figure if he is like this when we return then i will crack down on it...for today and tomorrow I am makign sure the other kids (all 13-18months) are not stressed out and having their meals nad playtime ruined. I don't have anywhere to put him where he's not just going to scream in our view so he goes up to his nap room to calm down.

[bright sparks]

Doubt it as today is the first time I took him out of his chair so he shouldn't have expected it. The hand squeezing does nothing with his kid (definately tried that) Tried everything. The odd thing...I put him in his crib and he gets happy as can be and just lies there staring at the monitor camera. It's about the only place he is calm these days...maybe because it is dark and quiet?

I can't ignore it because he is sending all the other kids into histerics and they are not eating because it is so intense and high pitched. I'm on vacation next week so I figure if he is like this when we return then i will crack down on it...for today and tomorrow I am makign sure the other kids (all 13-18months) are not stressed out and having their meals nad playtime ruined. I don't have anywhere to put him where he's not just going to scream in our view so he goes up to his nap room to calm down.

Oh my goodness I am so sorry Lee-Bee. What a drag!! For some children I find the change in environment can for reasons unknown to me make huge changes. When I take time off children can be SO different when they come back.... not always in a positive way unfortunately, but sometimes much better. Just from the break and change in routine not because it sucks to be at my house lol but I don't know, any number of reasons. Fingers crossed he comes back to you after your vacation a different child :)

[Lou]

Sucks! And I'm just going to be the devil's advocate and say that teething SUCKS. My now 16 month old just went through getting all his molars in and I thought that I was going to need to be admitted into the loony bin by the time they finally came in. He screamed night and day. My older two didn't teeth like that at all, but if my normally laid back and chill little man was acting like that, then it must HURT. If he truly is getting his molars in, then I doubt he's testing you with behaviour...he truly does hurt, he doesn't understand it and is trying to communicate to you to help him :( As annoying as the shrieking is, lol.
Could you offer him cold wash cloths or chilled teethers in his highchair?

[Lou]

Those mesh feeders with frozen peas, or berries work awesome as well!

[Lee-Bee]

I sent him home :-(

He needs one on one attention and some quiet time. I don't doubt he will be rather fine at home with some tv and cuddles. His parents were not impressed but he was in no state to be in group care and as per the signed illness policy he needs more attention than he can get with one adult and 5 kiddos.

If he was just needing cuddles and was able to calm when I gave them then I'd have kept him, changed our day so i can hold him and help him...but he was here 7hrs, he did not haev a drop of liquid, zero food (not even the purees i tried which made him scream endlessly) and was too busy screaming to even keep his soother in. I didn't try anything frozen/cold but he just wasn't in a state to try it.

My whole group is frazzled and stressed and i need to care for the whole group not just one teething kiddo. It sucks, but i had to look out for my whole group and myself and made the call to ship him home.

I asked his parents to have him checked out by a doctor if he wasn't eat/drinking or calming for them as he seemed worse off them just teething. I don't think its molars as there doesn't seem to be anything goign on back there. He's still working on the front 4 teeth. I know they come out of order (my daughter got her molars long before the bottom front teeth) but the gums don't show signs of teeth underneath back there.

Could be anything but most of all I believe the child really just needs to be one-on-one while he is feeling crummy. It doesh im no good to have him screaming here, makign the others scream which work him up more...especially when he won't eat or drink which makes him feel worse so makes him scream worse which makes him less likely to eat/drink!!!!!!

[playandlearnhere]

I had one little one who was often inconsolable. She just wouldn't cuddle or calm at all for me. It was really tough, but we seemed to be getting through it, then they went on a 2 week vacation and when she came back she was even worse than she started. I ended up having to call them to come get her 3 days in a row just after lunch because she wouldn't stop crying or let me comfort her at all. It sucked, I felt awful and so did they. We had to decide that for what ever reason, our home wasn't a good fit for her and the found other care. I heard that she did fine with her new care giver after a couple of weeks home with Mom, but we just couldn't make it work for her here.

I hope you are able to find a solution, but if it's just not working, you may have to discuss some other options.

[mickyc]

I had the same situation happen as playandlearnhere. I had a boy for 3 days and finally told mom it wasn't working out. I was already daycare no. 2. 3rd time was a charm though and he did fine there.