View Full Version : Need some advice

07-10-2014, 06:51 PM
Hi...I need some advice!
I have a 4yr old in my care that recently started with me for the summer. The parents filled out the paperwork and stated that he is high energy. They also mentioned that he gets frustrated sometimes. I met him at the interview and he seemed to be well-behaved.
Well, the last few days have been very difficult. I have little ones in my care as well, and he has pushed them, screamed at them, and pulled toys out of their hands. We have gone to the park each day, and each day there has been a problem with him and other children. He seems to be the child that mom's don't want their kids to play with because he's either saying inappropriate things, being mean, or throwing sticks for example. I have made a small (i mean tiny) amount of progress with how he speaks to the other children when he's angry, but I can't believe i'm already saying i'm at my wits end with him. He has run out on the road twice (and that was just today), even though I ask him to stop and wait for me and he purposely does things even if he knows he is not suppose to do it. Example: I ask him to not bounce the ball in house and instead he bounces it super hard and knocks it off a wall and window. I would like to terminate because the other children are starting to mimic his poor behaviour and I feel like i'm not providing the appropriate environment for him. (not to mention the safety concerns I have with him around the toddlers). I think a camp setting where he is much more active would be beneficial for him. Am I jumping the gun? How would I word this to the parents? (I haven't had to terminate before :( )
Thanks :o

07-10-2014, 09:18 PM
Sounds like a 4yrold dcb I had last fall. I lasted 8 weeks, even though he was exactly like this, and I had 3 one-year-olds at the time. I finally terminated after he started pushing highchairs over while the babies were in them, picking up babies by their heads, pulling the stroller handlebars down to the ground to make the babies hang half-upside down, throwing toys directly at other children's heads, having massive, colossal tantrums when it was time to leave for school that resulted in my literally having to drag him all the way to school, the list goes on. I should have terminated after a few days. I held on so long because he was my neighbour's child, I had just started out, and I felt like I was giving up if I terminated him. It's also really hard to find kids here, and I didn't know how long it would take to replace him. It was a terrible situation.

In retrospect, I should have let him go immediately over safety issues alone, not to mention his extreme disrespect of me and my home. If the safety concerns are that major, terminate him. What really opened my eyes was posting on here and having someone say, "if something happens to another child in your care because of him, how are you going to explain why you kept him for so long?"
Some kids just really aren't meant for group care. This one wasn't. I recently found out he's been diagnosed with numerous sensory issues. His behaviour wasn't something I would have been able to correct...you may be in the same boat.
Good luck!

07-11-2014, 06:06 AM
Sounds like mine that I terminated 3 months ago, I think his behaviour was because he was always competing with his twin and the parents always made excuses for him.....not to mention no discipline at all. Good luck!

07-11-2014, 06:07 AM
Thank you for your reply :) Wow, that must have been a very difficult 8 weeks for you. It has helped reading your story - thanks! Now comes the hard part...do I call the mom or do I send an email or both? I'm dreading this!

Crayola kiddies
07-11-2014, 07:08 AM
You print of a letter and have it ready for pick up but you discuss the situation in person first and then you hand her the letter and say this letter is for your records .

Have a point form list of the things you want to say so that you don't forget to mention and you don't stray off topic .... I'm hoping you have already discussed a few of the issues with her that you've been having since he started..... This will likely not be a surprise as you are probably not his first daycare to have been termed from

07-11-2014, 09:31 AM
Make sure you keep it factual not personal. 'For the safety of the other children', he needs a program with older, busier children, he'd do better in a day camp setting where there are numerous staff members and high energy activities to keep him stimulated etc etc etc.

I agree with Crayola kiddies...do it in person with a letter printed off for their records...and for them to read once home so things can sink in as they may not hear what you are telling them in person.

Best of luck!

07-11-2014, 09:54 AM
"Make sure you keep it factual not personal" - this is such a great piece of advice! We should have it carved into the walls of every daycare and school! Thank you

07-11-2014, 12:08 PM
I personally would terminate immediately. Running out on to the road is extremely unsafe and you can't properly supervise the other kids if you're chasing after Johnny.

You have grounds for immediate termination and they have the weekend to figure something else out.

07-11-2014, 09:24 PM
Thanks everyone :) It was a tough discussion to have with the parent, but I feel better having made the decision.
I also love the "keep it factual and not personal"!