View Full Version : Thinking of baby #3 and scared

08-08-2014, 09:40 AM
So my husband and I want a third baby. My fear is that my son was a very difficult baby. My daughter an angle do I jinx this LOL. My daughter is 2 and a mommies girl and jealous, Very jealous as I stay home with her all day im a daycare provider. Im just not sure if I should wait another year or two LOL or just do it now and hope she adjusts well.

also my issue is we live in a town house 3 bedroom and not ready to move for 2 or more years. Has anyone had successful room sharing with and age gap. If I were to have a girl there would be 3 years and if it is a boy well my son is 4 so big age gap I don't think I could make my son share his room as this age. Would it be weird if I put (if it was a boy) with my daughter just till we moved. The baby could stay in our room of course for a while till he/she slept the night as to not wake up my daughter.

See im a scatter brain want a third but am scared and come up with excuses to wait. HELP Im just not sure how im going to adjust either. And I have thought of just being done with two but im not I can't explain it at all but Im just not done having kids yet. Doesn't help all my friends are having babies to. UGH HElp

08-08-2014, 12:20 PM
You sound just like I was!

We have a 3 br towhouse, with a basement playroom, and have 3 kids. When my youngest daughter was born, my oldest daughter was 4 and my son was 3.

We planned to put the baby in with my daughter no matter the gender, because my son was a terrible sleeper up until he turned about 4. My oldest is very protective of her "things" so we gave her a shelf above her bed with baskets for all of her little things so her sister couldn't get at them. She adapted pretty well, and considering how possessive she can be, I wasn't sure that she would. She's also a VERY sound sleeper though, so she's never been disturbed by the little one at night.

We kept the baby in her crib in our room until she was almost a year. I had originally thought 6 months, but it took her quite a while to start sleeping well, so we waited until then to move her. The kids' rooms aren't large, but most of their toys are downstairs in the daycare playroom. If they don't want to share them with the daycare kids, they each have a big bin under their beds to store them. We are wanting to get my son a loft bed soon, so his train table can come back up from the playroom to his room and fit comfortably.

There's not a ton of space, but it's completely doable. We're actually considering #4 atm, (well, me a bit more than my husband, but I'll get him there, lol) and I don't plan on moving if we do end up with a fourth. We're literally next door to my kids' school, and our mortgage payment is very reasonable, allowing me to have a bit more flexibility in case I lose a dck unexpectedly or go down to only a couple after a new baby is born.

I have also considered putting all the kids in our room, moving us to one of their rooms, and having the third one be either a nursery or an office. We go back and forth on the idea. There would certainly be the space, but I don't know how well they'd all sleep if we threw my son into the mix!

I don't think kids all need their own rooms or a huge space, frankly. They use their rooms for clothes, books, and special toys, and everything else is downstairs. They get more use out of it that way anyway!

My suggestion: there will never be the perfect time to have another one, but if you truly want another, and you can afford to feed and clothe them, go for it!

On a side note: my son was an extremely difficult baby, and is still a very challenging almost-5-year-old, but he has always absolutely loved his baby sister. She has also been my easiest, happiest, most fun baby yet, so you may get another difficult one, but you may not!

Good luck with your decision!

08-08-2014, 01:25 PM
My two daughters share a bedroom and they both love it and sleep BETTER at night as opposed to before when they were separate. My younger slept in our bedroom until around a year old, then we put the girls together in one bedroom. Their room is quite small, we ended up getting bunk beds, but the room is pretty much just meant for sleeping and their clothes.

I have no intentions on having a third child, but there really is no perfect time. You know there will be an adjustment period no matter what.

08-20-2014, 02:43 PM
There is never a perfect time for change.

I moved to Canada in 2001 with my then husband and my children who were 4 and almost 2 at the time. I'd never even set foot on this continent before and didn't know a single person.

Over the years, my ex had several issues which out of respect for the fact he is my son's father, I won't go into but it resulted in us living in a very controlled environment with little interaction. Eventually my marriage ended and I found myself, in a country with no work history as I'd been a stay-at-home parent since moving, no credit as it was all in his name, and no income. For reasons known to him, after a year of trying to get him to court for child support, he decided he's rather disappear. We've never seen him since.

Life has a way of biting you on the bum periodically and we adjust, and figure out a way forward.

Recently, back home, my sister (who has learning disabilities) had her children taken into care. I don't know if the actions of the courts were justified or not since it's well documented how the courts there act and remove children and then the parents spend years fighting to get them returned. Suddenly, with teenagers of my own, I am faced with being asked to take on an 8 and 9 year old to save them being in long term care.

Again, life sees us getting settled and it offers up a challenge.

My whole point is - you can plan your life in detail but not everything is in your control. Sure, it's not ideal now but in a year's time, who knows what your situation might be and you may feel it's even less practical then.

So what if you don't have the ideal number of bedrooms - me neither for 4 boys - but hey, we'll figure out a way to make it work and so will you.

Having lived the life I have (and don't get me wrong, I have no regrets because of where I am today and that's a good place) I say if you want something, go for it. Grab at life and take your happiness from where ever you think it lays. Your life will never be ideal for every situation you'll face. So what if it presents some challenges along the way - it's those experiences which grow us as individuals and which make us wiser and stronger.

09-29-2014, 09:19 PM
Rachael thank you very much for your response. Im am very happy that you did find happiness here and all is well with you. You make a great point about just adapting to what life throws at you. I whole heartedly thank you and you really did make my decision and mind at ease. Do it for me and not worry about what others might think. I hope you have many more years of happiness with your new family that has doubled. It is a great thing your doing for those boy's. As an adopted person myself I take my hat off to you. Even though they are family your nephews and you feel obligated to do so, You really didn't have to. It may be tough but man oh man they will thank you when they are older. :)

09-30-2014, 06:59 AM
I'm glad it helped.

I had a horrible marriage that lasted a long time and a fantastic one that sadly ended when my husband was killed in an accident after just a few short years.

In my mid-40's now, I know nothing is forever - and that includes the crappy times. Sure, we all struggle periodically but we all come out of it and on to better things. Everything finds it's own rhythm eventually. Maybe it comes with maturity but I no longer stress about things not in my control. I don't worry about situations either as the act of worrying is non-productive. Once you take a step back from any situation, learn to see what you can actually control about it, decide what you are going to do with the element you have control over, and then act, I seems that life is far less stressful.

You'll be fine - I promise.

09-30-2014, 03:00 PM
I had 3 in 2.5 years ! On my 23 rd birthday I was in labor with number 3 ! Sooo sometimes just jumping in and making do is a plan too !! I married at 19 and we were the cool couple for exactly 2 weeks !! Lol said good bye to our convertible and never looked back !
I had number 4 when I was 25 and my girls shared a room right from the start ( after newborn stage ) they are 4 yrs apart and when they were 3 and 7 we put them in a double bed together ! They loved it ! We only had 3 bedroom houses for years ! Until number 5 came ( I was 40 ) and we spread out into a huge house and they started moving out !!
Would I have "planned " the "triplets" as we called them ? Prob not but looking back we made it through and those are some of our best memories !!
Number one child was a challenge and when number 5 was born I recognized her personality right away !!
Sometimes the unexpected and choices not desired work out to be the best !!!
Good luck !! Happy baby making !!!

06-03-2015, 03:14 PM
So everyone after reading all your wonderful words of having three kids im happy to announce im pregnant with baby number three. I find out what im having next Friday hopefully. Due on Halloween but having a C-section on October 26th. Thank you al for helping in this very exciting and scary decision. I am however no longer scared just excited. Thank you all !!! :)