Child who speaks NO English

[5 Little Monkeys]

So I just had an interview with a very nice Chinese family. However, the parents speak limited English and their 4 yo son speaks NONE and understands NONE. I asked how they think it would work here at daycare with him and I communicating to each other. I asked if pictures would help so that he would know when I'm asking him to use the washroom, letting him know that we're going to do lunch/outside/art etc but they didn't really seem to know what I meant and/or didn't seem to care? The child was VERY happy and played well and seemed excited to be here. I asked the parents to go home and think about it and get back to me in a day or two to let me know if they would be interested in the spot or not. However, I am not sure I want to offer the spot to them if they do decide they like it here. I have only interviewed one other non English speaking family and they chose not to come here due to price so I didn't have to worry about it. This could be the case with this family as well but they didn't flat out tell me no so I'm wondering what to do on the off chance they do say yes.

Has anyone taken on a non English speaking family? Did it work out? Any suggestions? I'm at a loss as to what to do....I would feel terrible telling them no just because of this but on the other hand, it's a pretty big issue isn't it??

[superfun]

Wow, I don't know what I would do. I'm leaning towards the notion that kids pick up language fast when they're immersed in it. It might not be a big deal after the first little bit.

[5 Little Monkeys]

I was thinking that too. I tried telling myself it's like a baby right...a baby doesn't know or understand words either but catches on fairly quickly. However, will it be the same if they aren't speaking or teaching English at home? I really don't know what to do :(

It was also a bit difficult speaking to the parents as they have limited English even though they said they have been here for 7 years (well the mom anyways, not sure about dad, usually the dad comes first from what I have been told. A past grandparent here teaches them English at their job they work at) I am also one of those annoying people that speak louder to people who don't know English....like if I yell they might understand better?!?! LOL I could hear myself doing it and kept telling myself to stop being so loud but it just happens as I continue to speak. They likely thought I was crazy! haha

[AmandaKDT]

I would be more concerned about dealing with the communication barrier with the parents than with the child. The kid will pick up English fast, but what if there are issues that come up and you can't communicate with them properly because of the language barrier. It makes things difficult.

[superfun]

Oh I could just picture you speaking loudly, then realizing it and going back to normal. And then doing it again. Haha.
I used to work at a job where I was the one of the first places that new residents had to stop to set up services. Communicating does get easier, especially if it's something important. You can just translate it for them on your phone if you've got a Web browser. And trust me, most of their kids speak English even though they never do at home. Plus he'll need to speak english eventually anyways, if he goes to school. Might as well start early. :)

sorry amandaKDT, I didn't see your post until I posted, none of that was in response to yours.

[5 Little Monkeys]

haha, I'm sure they wondered why the volume of my voice kept changing!! Good grief...lol. I'm also one of those people that tend to speak with an accent if the other person has one....I don't know why my brain does these things to me!!!

I agree, communicating with the parents is also a concern of mine. They seemed to have a pretty good handle on it but every now and than we didn't seem to be on the same page. Explaining payment was a bit tricky...I don't think they quite understood that first payment is for the first two weeks plus a 1 week deposit towards their last 4 weeks in care. The dad was also concerned about what they would do if the child didn't like coming here. I said I don't do a trial run but that they would have to give me a month's notice to fill the spot. I'm kinda wondering if I do say yes (and they say yes too) that maybe I should do a one month trial run. If it's too much of an issue with the communication, I can just terminate then? They did seem to raise their eyes when I mentioned the fee so maybe they will say no and I won't have to worry about it.

My space is for a child over the age of 2 but one of my infants turns two in January and I'm fairly confident it will fill than with an infant. It would be nice to be making that extra income now though and I do like the idea of older children now that I have two 3 year olds in my care.

[SillyGirl_C]

I work in Vancouver (VERY multi-cultural) and at least 20% of my clients speak little English. Their children however are perfectly fluent in both languages because they were immersed young. I think you should give them a chance. I recommend typing complicated matters for the parents to take home rather than discussing at the door. It is easier for them to read and if needed, they usually have a friend that can translate. My 2 cents.

[5 Little Monkeys]

Their older son started school yesterday so hopefully he teaches the younger one some English as well!

Thanks for that tip Sillygirl!! I think if they say yes and I decide to give them a shot, that is exactly what I will do!! I will type it up and send an email as well so they can translate if needed. The other family I interviewed back when I very first started brought a translator with them as they spoke even less than this family did. This family did quite well actually, I think I'm just worried and thinking ahead!

[Artsand crafts]

I am north of Toronto and around here there are people from all around the globe. I currently have a dcb(half polish and half Vietnamese, a Chinese dcb, and a Kenyan dcg, The 2 latest speak only Cantonese and French at home and they now (2yo and 3 yo) speak and understand English very well. One of these moms has difficulty with the English, but we communicate by email and text since she understand and communicate much better in writing.

[5 Little Monkeys]

Thanks for the reassurance!! I think if they do say yes, I will give them a shot! Through email, they did seem to understand what I was saying (altho, they came across as pushy in email and I considered not meeting them but chalked it up due to poor English and I think I was right since they were very friendly in person) I have had a few interested in this spot but when they find out what I charge (which is $12 more per day than a centre) they tend to not be as interested :( I could wait until January/February to fill the spot with an infant, but I really don't enjoy taking children under 18 months on. I have back pain/arthritis in it and they really do a number on it! lol.

Now I'm kinda excited and hope they do say yes. I do think I will give them a month trial run because of the communication barrier. This way, if it doesn't work out, either one of us can back out of the agreement. I have had mostly caucasian children with only a couple Native American's and one African American family but they all spoke English so it wasn't an issue at all.

[Lou]

5LM, your posts made me LOL!!!
I would actually love this challenge in helping him to learn English, I'd be all over it! Good luck with whatever you decide!

[5 Little Monkeys]

Lou, cuz you were imagining me yelling at them weren't you!!! LOL I told my fiance about it and he was like "oh god...you didn't!" He's only seen my accents come out, he's never really heard me yell at people who don't speak English haha. It's so bad!

I emailed the family this morning and told them we could do a one month trial period and than after that they can decide if they want to stay or not. If they decide to stay, their one week deposit for their last 4 weeks in care would be required than. Mom had asked about payment so I outlined the next month and a bit in what the payments would be and why. Hopefully they are able to understand it.

[Rachael]

I don't have direct experience as a carer with this but as a child, I've faced this situation.

My father was in the forces when we were kids so at age 2, we lived in Dubai for a while, age 4 we went to Cyprus for a few years and then, once my sister and I were school age, we returned back to the UK to put down roots whilst Dad continued his RAF placements alone.

As a child who lived in two countries were the language was different - it was perfectly fine.

Initially communication will happen from tone, gesture, expression. Thankfully where he's four, this child is able to walk and point if need be. But within a few weeks, he'll understand you as long as you don't speak too quickly and make instructions direct. That's the tricky part initially - weeding out the "fill" words and figuring out the key ones in a sentence. If you can bear that in mind, that will help enormously.

Give it a few months, he'll speak key words and within 6 months, he'll be almost fluent, maybe faster.

Kids pick it languages super fast because they want to participate and want to be included. Adults struggle because they are more considered about what they are getting wrong vs what they are getting right.

[Lou]

Yes, I was totally imaging you speaking with an accent and speaking loudly and slowly hahaha. It's funny because I find myself doing that with my inlaws :O (not the accent, but the volume for sure)

[kassiemom]

i'd say give it a shot, i know sign language and when people don't speak english i always try to sign to the. yep that doesn't work any better than talking loud!!! lol hahah at least we both try to adapt!!! def the boy will pick up on the language and the parents eventually will too. i think it would be amazing to watch him learn and grow and know you had something to do with that!!! i would maybe try to find time in the day to do one on one ESL lessons with him. and TV is an awesome teacher too!!!lol

[5 Little Monkeys]

I haven't heard from them yet today but they do tend to email in the evenings so I'm hoping to hear from them within a couple of days. I'm actually hoping they do say yes because like some of you, I would love the new challenge and it would be awesome to see the little boy's English flourish and know that I had something to do with it. Now, pronouncing his name is going to be a whole 'nother story!! They told it to me like 5 times but I am absolutely horrible at other languages. They said he doesn't have an English name yet....maybe I can give him one?! haha.

Kassiemom...I know ASL as well and find myself signing at times too! haha. Doesn't seem to work either...I wonder why?? ;) lol

[Secondtimearound]

I do the same thing with the accents !! Why is that ! Meeting Irish family ( not even friends of mine ) and I answered the man back with the fake accent !! So embarrassing !!
I think he will totally watch what the other kids are doing and copy them , ex clean up time , he will notice play time has changed into something else . Probably one of the children you have will take him under their wing !!
As far as names go lol , I'm bad with names as well , I have 3 little girls with tongue twisting A names !!
Hoping they get back to you !!!

[5 Little Monkeys]

As embarrassing as it is, I'm glad some of you have the same habits I do when speaking to others LOL

[Secondtimearound]

I am also wonderful at finding out somebody has a lazy /problem eye and look directly into that one and then feel like if I look away it's rude so I stick to that eye !!! Ugh lol , I'm sure they wouldn't be offended but .... I'm probably as mature as the kids I look after sometimes !!!

[5 Little Monkeys]

LMAO!!!!! omg, I used to work with a girl who had a twitch in one eye and when talking to her, I would blink my eyes every time her one eye twitched!! That is so funny that we sort of do the same....well probably not funny to the people we are talking too!

[Secondtimearound]

Bahaha !!!!! I'm totally visualizing that !!! I had to stop chatting with a mom who had a tick and constantly winked !!!!

[AcornsFalling]

I agree with Sillygirl, I have been a teacher in Vancouver with many children starting kindergarten with little or no English, from all different language backgrounds. Children are very perceptive with social cues and following what the group is doing. I don't think you will find it difficult to make your needs known. He will catch on quickly. IME, ESL parents are anxious that their child do well and work together with the teacher/caregiver as best they can... As a teacher I preferred ESL parents!

I had a 20 month old start with me who knew and spoke no English. It was a bit frustrating at times but a year later he's doing great.

[mickyc]

For me personally I wouldn't take a child or family who couldn't speak English. I try and sell things on our local buy and sell website and I just have no patience when someone calls for an item and I can't understand them. It certainly wouldn't be something I would be able to do.

[5 Little Monkeys]

So I had given up hope from hearing from this family. I had sent them an email saying we could do a one month trial period but heard nothing back. Well today after work I was out running errands and saw they had emailed. I came home and forgot about it and started to cook supper. The doorbell rings and I consider not answering it (for those who know me, I don't answer my door unless I know your coming. I'm kinda antisocial that way lol) but I was in the kitchen and I knew whoever it was would be able to hear me. Anyways, it was the dad and their older son.

Dad asked if we could do a two week trial period as they are really worried about him being in care of someone who is not family and of course add on the language barrier. I agree to this, I have no other families interested in the spot right now (other than a huge list for January but I really don't want to fill it with a 12 month old if I can help it) so it's basically extra money right now. I asked if they wanted to start the week of the 15th as that is what they told me in the initial interview. Dad asks if they can start tomorrow. So I guess we are doing this week and next week as a trial period LOL. The older son goes to an elementary near us (the one my husband works at actually!) so he will be dropping off and picking up. His English is fantastic!! Very nice boy, great manners and communicated well with me so I'm hoping that's a good sign :)

I was busy cooking supper so I said let me turn all of this off and get the papers that I need filled out etc but dad says it's okay they can come back later around 8. He asked how much they would owe and away they went! It was so weird, I've never filled a spot like this and feel kinda disorganized! haha. Hopefully it all goes well....cross your fingers for me please!! I guess I'll be busy tonight finding pictures to make a picture book to start our communication!! Oh boy....what have I got myself into!?!? lol

[5 Little Monkeys]

Okay, I have pictures for the toilet, lunch, going outside. What else would be major transitions that I should have a picture for?

[torontokids]

Circle time, craft time, snack?

[torontokids]

Good Luck!

[superfun]

Quiet time/nap? Unless you said that and I missed it

[5 Little Monkeys]

Thanks girls!! I've added your suggestions!

[5 Little Monkeys]

So far so good!!!

Older brother dropped him off and he came right in and went into playing. He didn't cry at all. Has interacted with the other children and myself. He went to the washroom on his own. Mom called and it was hard to understand her over the phone but I think I got most of what she was telling me. She asked to speak to him and so he did with lots of smiles and laughs so I'm taking that as a good sign! She thanked me and we said goodbye. He was fine after this still.

He hasn't ate yet though. Cried at lunch but settled down and watched the other 3 eat. He cried at naptime and came off his cot and out the room twice but I was standing right there both times and just put him back on the cot with a hug and said "sleep" He fell asleep almost instantly after that.

I'm hoping it continues to go well!! I've used my communication book with him for transitions and he's repeated every English word I've asked of him. Still a LONG ways to go but I feel better about it. I'm hoping he continues to come in every morning and goes right into playing because it's hard to comfort him when he's crying as he doesn't know what I'm saying yet.

[superfun]

Thanks for the update. I really enjoy knowing how things work out after someone posts a question.

[5 Little Monkeys]

So do I!! :)

Well sleep didn't last long. He woke up crying very loudly. I went down to him and rubbed his back. He settled right away but as soon as I stopped rubbing his back he would scream cry again. I'm sure he's scared/confused. I brought him out the naproom (I have one child here today who NEEDS his sleep or else the afternoon will be brutal!) He's laying on my couch upstairs with his blanket and hopefully will fall asleep. If not that's okay too. He's very quiet and not disrupting my break haha. He did get up and use the washroom so maybe that was his issue?

[kassiemom]

oh 5LM i am so happy that it is working out well so far! sounds like you are a wonderful provider for him :) keep us posted!!!

[Secondtimearound]

That would be scary for him to have to use the bathroom and not know how to say it ! I'm glad the day is going so well !!!
I'm trying not to compare my day with 3 three olds who have whined all day today !! Hmmm

[5 Little Monkeys]

Thanks for the kind words Kassiemom :) It's going to be a struggle I can tell but I think I'm up for it! It was so cute today, my husband looked up Chinese words and how to say them and tried to talk to him today....love!!

He was soooo tired and ended up having a meltdown. He was crying and talking to me in Chinese and asking for "mama". This is when my husband tried to tell him that his mom was working and would be here soon. He did stop crying and pay attention to him so maybe he was understanding his attempt at Chinese!! lol. I ended up taking him back downstairs to the nap room and laying with him on our spare bed. He snuggled in with me and fell asleep for about another 20 minutes or so. I hope I don't have to do this every day but under these circumstances I am okay with doing it until the language barrier is broken down a bit.

Mom and older brother picked up today and he told mom he had fun and played with new toys. Mom seemed happy (he did have a scratch on his eye that she asked about but he told her that it happened when he was crying....so I'm told lol. They had a conversation in Chinese and than she told me what they said) I sent home a letter stating what we did/ate today so that they could take it home and read in detail or have the older son translate for them. She said "say see you in the morning" and he said it in perfect english so I'm hoping/thinking they are working on english at home too :)

All in all, the day was pretty darn good considering the circumstances!! :) Thanks for all the help....I will gladly take any suggestions anyone has at any point in time!!

[Rachael]

Trying to think what helped me when living in countries with a different language but it was so damn long ago, my memory isn't that good.

What I will say is I remember kindness. I remember people whose tone and gestures showed kindness even if the language made no sense.

Kindness doesn't have a language but he will understand that.

One thought - since we all know most little ones don't have a concept of time, ask the older brother how you say 'soon' in Chinese. That way, when he asks for his Mama, "soon" is a reassurance she will indeed be coming in a while.

I remember when I moved to Canada with my boys who were 4 and 1 at the time. They were lost and confused for a while, even though I was with them all day and no language issues. It's over whelming - to be away from your extended family, your old day care friends, your old routine, your old house, your old community. It's a massive adjustment.

I think despite the tears, he's doing heroically. What a brave little boy to be thrown in the deep end like this and yet for the most part just rolling with it.

[5 Little Monkeys]

Thanks Rachael! I agree with you on kindness. I would ruffle his hair, give big thumbs up, high fives and smile at him lots throughout the day. He especially liked when I tickled him or made funny noises as he would repeat the noise lol.

That's a good idea about the word "soon"!!! I will have to remember to ask!

I agree, he is so brave! Did soooooo much better than I was expecting!

[5 Little Monkeys]

Amazing moment this morning!

I was putting diapers away and he came to me pointing at the playroom. I came out and my little handful was doing something that is not allowed ( getting at the cable wire that is behind my chair). He had been doing this yesterday and the new child obviously was paying attention and caught on that this isn't allowed. I said " thank you" to him and he smiled and said " you're welcome"....melted my heart lol. I'm so glad I took a chance, I think this will work out well :)

[superfun]

That's so cute! I love this thread

[kassiemom]

I wish could "like" your post! that's such a cute moment.

[Secondtimearound]

Aw !!!! That's so sweet !!!!!
He will catch on so quickly !!! Kids are amazing !
It must feel so good to see he is connecting with you !!!

[5 Little Monkeys]

He is an absolute sweetheart which makes this whole process SO much easier! Our only issue (aside from the language one) is naptime but even that he did so good with today. He cried at first, I hugged him and laid him down and he slept for an hour. Got up and used the washroom and than slept for another hour!! Mom picked up today and said he went to bed later last night. Hopefully his 2 hour nap doesn't make him stay up late again!

[SillyGirl_C]

I too am loving this thread! So positive!! I am so proud of you for taking the chance with this family.

[5 Little Monkeys]

Thanks sillygirl!

[5 Little Monkeys]

Well almost finished the week, 4 days with him. It has gone so much better than I could have hoped! He did cry today at drop off and not want to come in the house but after I went outside to get him (his older brother drops off) he stopped crying and started to play with the other 2 boys. I do think he likes coming here but I am sure it is still a confusing thing for him!!

He hasn't ate a whole lot here this week but today he came to me and said "teacher" and pointed to his tummy. I asked if he was hungry and he said yes. Throughout the week I have been giving lots of thumbs up and saying "good" and today when he got his plate of potatoes, cucumbers and chicken and cheese quesidilla (weird combo but it was leftover day lol) he gave me a thumbs up and smiled and ate all his potatoes and cucumbers!!! He seriously is the cutest!

He has been getting better with nap. He sleeps an hour and than I lay with him for the last hour. Today he came up the stairs after 30 mins but I took him back down and put him back on his bed and he was fine, no tears and went back to sleep.

He is a very happy and funny child. All week we have played with each other and he is a big jokester lol. He enjoys making silly faces, weird noises and tickling each other. He also loves to mimic me if I cough or make a funny noise. I take pictures throughout the day and every time I ask him to "smile" or "say cheese" he closes one eye and pokes his eye and laughs....not sure if it's just something he does or what but it's hilarious and so cute!

I really hope he is going home and telling his parents how much fun he is having here as I would love for him to stay beyond next week. Mom has picked up twice and seems really happy after he talks to her for a bit. I have no idea what they are saying though lol. I've been sending home a paper detailing his day for them. Today I had a chiropractor appointment and my husband watched them for the 30 minutes I was gone and he did fantastic!! I normally don't like to leave them with my husband until they've been here at least a month but I really needed this appointment for my back pain so I'm glad it went well!!

Thanks for all the encouragement....I don't think I would have said yes if it hadn't been for you guys!!

[SillyGirl_C]

They would be crazy not to stay with you. I think you got yourself a new family!!! Way to go!!!!

[5 Little Monkeys]

I'm hoping it was just due to their fear but when dad asked if they could do two weeks first and than go from there, it made me wonder if they just needed two weeks of care? During the initial interview I was under the impression that both worked at the same place. However, the older son filled in the forms and mom works but dad's says none?? I'm hoping they will want to continue though!

[superfun]

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that they stay. That would be great.

[Secondtimearound]

It would be so disappointing if he only needed two weeks care ! So much transitioning !!
Your post is really unique and sweet to read !

[5 Little Monkeys]

Well to add on to my already blah mood this week.......mom came at pick up today and thanked me for care but said she is on holidays now and will be staying home with him and that they would miss me. I said ok, are you wanting to come back after that and she just kept saying she is on holidays. So I said that it was nice to meet them and that we would miss him and I'm sad that he won't be back. She thanked me again and said take care.....I'm confused but pretty sure they are gone! It's very disappointing after putting in two weeks of transitioning and getting to know him. He seemed to have a lot of fun here and got along with everyone. Other than the language barrier and a bit of a naptime issue, things were great!!! I feel so used!! lol. I had a feeling when dad came 2 weeks ago that they might have needed only 2 weeks and I should have listened to my gut. Oh well, it was an experience and a good two weeks with him and it gave me some extra money. Sucks but what can I do....UGH, so glad it's Friday and I can just be whiny, stay in bed and feel sorry for myself! I hope this grouchy blah mood is gone by Monday!!

[superfun]

That's unfortunate. He sounded like a great addition to your group. But like you said, it's two weeks of pay that you didn't have before.

[SillyGirl_C]

You never know. They might be back. Could be they have a relative (grandma) coming for a few months and that is why they could not commit.

Regardless, what a cool experience and now you are super confident should another ESL child come your way. :)

[Secondtimearound]

Really ?? Aww that stinks !!! That was a lot of work !!! Well I don't blame you !! I suggest a cuddly blanket , big glass of red and hedge hogs !! Always makes me feel better !!!! :woot::woot:

[5 Little Monkeys]

Thanks ladies!! I'm on the hunt to fill the space again but I'm okay if it doesn't fill either so I feel better today.

[Secondtimearound]

Good for you !!!