HELP Bad sleeping habits, unable to self sooth!

[Happy Days]

This is my first time posting but I'm desperate for some advice. I have a new child who just started daycare. Child is rocked fully to sleep at home and also naps on dad on weekends. The child is great and I really like the parents they are easy to talk to and I have spoken to them, have asked them for help because it is a team effort. I run a multi age daycare and have one other that naps and 2 older who no longer nap. My issue is I can't rock and spend a lot of time getting the child to sleep usually I would let the child cry themselves to sleep but this child climbs out of the crib :( . I don't want the child to get hurt. I have gotten the child to fall asleep by himself by sitting in a chair across the room, but he only slept for 20 min because he doesn't know how to self sooth. Should I keep this up and hope this is teaching him how to sleep? Do you think this is causing bad habits?:unsure: Any advice would be much appreciated!

[Dreamalittledream]

Oh my gosh, that is so tough. Poor you. How old is child? If climbing out of crib, I think he is old enough to understand if you keep laying him down in the crib (and firmly say 'sleep time') whenever you hear him try to get out. Hoping parents get board at home too to help this child succeed on self soothing.

[5 Little Monkeys]

I've had a child who climbed out of the crib once and now currently have one who tries. I have a video monitor now though so when I see him awake I keep an eye on him and rush in as soon as he tries to climb out. I have also started putting a crib sheet over his playpen, the kind that has the elastic on the corners, it fits beautifully on top and stays in place. I know that sounds weird but it's been working! He will take the sheet off near the end of naptime but he hasn't tried to climb out in 2 weeks. It also makes his crib darker which probably helps with the sleeping too.

As for the rocking to sleep...that's a tough one! I would be telling the parents that this needs to be weaned from at home (and explain why, some parents really don't get the logistics of group care and how much stress it puts on us when we have a child that needs this) and that at daycare you will be sleep training him to self soothe. Explain the benefits of this as well. Hopefully they are on board with it and will start to do this at home as well. I would let them know that I am giving him a month to adjust to group care but if it doesn't work out than they may be asked to find alternate daycare.

[Dreamalittledream]

That is a great idea with the fitted sheet; going to put that one in my memory bank (just in case).

[5 Little Monkeys]

I admit, I felt pretty genius when the idea came to me!

(Although there is a good chance I seen it on Pinterest or read it on here and just forgot about it and now am taking credit for it LOL )

[Happy Days]

Thank you for your advice :)
Child is 20 months old and I like you Dreamalittledream thought he is old enough to climb out and can fall asleep by self in crib, that I would lay him down when he tries to climb out and tell him it's naptime. The thing is...he cries as soon as I try to leave the room and automatically starts to climb out. So yesterday for 30 min we did this struggle of me leaving and him automatically climbing out and me coming back in and laying him down. He was crying pretty hard not quit histarical and I felt horrible because it feels like a horrible way to start his stay here at my Daycare. But I think I will have to keep it up and have a serious talk with parents, and maybe a one month adjustment period warning will get them on board with dealing with the sleep issues.

I don't see the sheet over the crib working with this child right now, but I like the idea will have to keep that for the future.

[Dreamalittledream]

They can be stubborn little ones, huh? Here's hoping your perseverance works out for you. Can't imagine how exhausting it all must be.

[Busy ECE mommy]

I've got one as well, who is 14 months and in week 2 of transition. He screams bloody murder for 2.5 hrs, as he can't self soothe either, as parents rock him to sleep with a bottle(since the day he was born) He won't even sleep 5 minutes. I sat rubbing his back for 1hr one day, and he still screamed(to the point of gag reflex)
Thankfully he doesn't crawl out yet. They need to learn to cry it out and calm themselves. If you can give the child a separate room , then do so. I've used sleep music/a fan/ a noise machine as well, to try to settle them. The other solution is to put him in a sleep sack with the fasteners at the back so he can't get it off, and can't get his legs high enough to climb out. I'm giving it a month for transition, and then I'll term, as he keeps everyone else awake at nap time.

[CrazyEight]

Ooooooh I've got the same thing and I'm on my last straw.

She's 2.5, I've had her for almost 2 weeks. Screams bloody murder and climbs out of the playpen over and over for 2 hours straight. She is keeping my whole house up and I am beyond pissed!

Mom thinks it's FUNNY and admitted that dcg sleeps with mom every night and is rocked to sleep for naps! At 2.5!!

I've tried the sheet over the top, tried sitting with her until she falls asleep, am currently going down and putting her back in every time she climbs out. I literally haven't sat down during the day in almost 2 weeks. No sooner am I back upstairs then she's out again. It's beyond ridiculous.

I'm giving mom notice, I'm done. I had a few terrible dckids last year and hung on WAY too long before finally letting them go. My days were incredibly depressing and I grew to hate my job. Not doing that again.

Now, if the parent hasn't done their part to teach the child to self-soothe, they get to live with the consequences and find another provider. My own 2 year old is exhausted, and my other 2 little ones are getting sent home cranky and overtired, as no one has been able to sleep. Not worth the money.

[Happy Days]

The child has their own room in a crib but I have moved him to another in play pen because the play pen is closer to floor, I really don't want to see him get hurt. You know....you would think/ hope that parents would prepare their child to go to child care? My current parents had signed up in June for a start date in Sept knowing this they should have started correcting the sleeping behaviours. Worst thing is that it's not the child's fault these are all learned bad habits from parents :( but now the child has to go through a rough process with a stranger.

[Secondtimearound]

I think that's a great idea with putting the child in a playpen , I had one that climbed and it was a battle !!! I basically stood and took her back to playpen over and over for 40 min ! She finally fell asleep for about 20 min and we were back at it again !!! My whole nap time 1-3 was spent that way ! All I can say is that eventually she would go to sleep without waking up for the 2 hrs and sometimes more !
She always screamed going down and I always have her hug and walked out , I had her for a year , she started at 14 months . Mom said they couldn't get her to sleep so she played until she dropped !
Never napped and had all the signs of a child suffering from lack of parental skills .
But persevere , most like you mentioned have parents that are not teaching how to self soothe so it takes time !!
Good luck though !!!

[Happy Days]

Thanks Secondtimearound you give me some hope. :)

[madmom]

sleep sacks, put them on backwards so they can't undo the zippers. One of my dc families suggested it for their son who was getting into mischief as he silently climbed out of the playpen during nap. Worked like a charm for him and now I have a very challenging 21 month old trying to pull the same tricks so it is off to the stores this weekend to find one and start using it next week. Most days this job is great but these little people make me sooooo tired sometimes

[Happy Days]

I've never used the sleep sack but anything is worth a try! Any suggestions where I could buy one? Would Walmart or target carry them?

[Crayola kiddies]

Swaddle and then a sleepsack overtop .... They can't get out!

[Happy Days]

Those of you that have done this with the sleep sack, did you talk to the parents first? Reason I ask I just have a feeling since child is never really left alone by parents they would not like this idea.

[superfun]

I might mention is to the parents, but not because it's a big deal. Typically parents like sleep sacks, because it's a nice alternative to blankets. So if I mentioned it, it would be something like "I've been using a sleep sack instead of a blanket to help your child sleep better at nap time".

[Happy Days]

Ohhh...that is a fantastic way of bringing it up superfun. I like it! Sweet number 1 priority this weekend is buying a sleeping sack :)

[Secondtimearound]

Ugh I am so claustrophobic I couldn't do it ! I am wondering how it goes though ! Update us !

[madmom]

My house, my rules, there is no way I am sharing quiet time with a child. Nap time is sacred to me. Also these children are sleeping in my children's bedrooms so they are not invited to get into the big kid stuff. I am not going to mention anything about putting the dcb in a sleep sack. he is safe, warm and best of all CONTAINED. It will not hurt him, if anything he will be cozy warm and sleep well.

[Samantha33]

I would not keep a child longer than a week that cried for more than an hr. everyday unless I saw great improvement in that first week. I have the following in my contract and even go over it with the parents at the interview so they know I am serious. Feel free to share.

Prepare Your Child for Daycare

Even a home daycare has a routine they must follow in order that they are organized and ready for each segment of the day. Before bringing your child to my home daycare it is strongly recommended that you teach them some of the “tricks of the daycare world.” Learning these behaviors will make your child adjust more quickly and with ease in the months to come. Setting routines and practicing good eating, playing and sleeping habits really pays off when they begin coming to daycare (any daycare, not just mine) please prepare your child in the following ways if possible, before they begin care:
Sleeping habits:
Sleep is an important part of your child’s life. Lack of it, can result in stress, illness and a cranky child; All of which I feel is not fair to your child, to the children in care, or to me. I promote good sleep routines and habits. I strongly suggest that your child should practice or know how to:
1) Fall asleep while still awake and able to self-sooth when woken up. (this means not picking them up right away when they wake up or cry…give them a moment to go back to sleep or to wake up) Many children wake up and then fall back to sleep in around 3-5 min. Just like us they have heavy and light sleep patterns.
2) Fall asleep without walking/rocking/driving, being placed in a swing or a car seat or by having to pace the floor.
3) Go to bed without a bottle.
4) Go to sleep at regular nap and bedtimes with other noises around them.
5) Follow my sleep routines and naptimes whenever possible in order to make the transition easier on your child.
Eating habits:
I always try to offer healthy food and snacks. I encourage all children 12 months or so to eat on their own with minimal assistance; and to eat table foods by 12 months. I do help them when needed. No walking around with food; eating at the table only, and no t.v. while eating. Homo milk is served. We do have treat days and parties with cupcakes and ice cream etc., but these days are limited and are very special to the children I care for. For allergy reasons no outside food is to be brought into the daycare. Meals and snacks are offered. I do not bribe or cohorce a child - to eat - beyond the normal effort. Everyone eats the same meal. They usually eat well because they are hungry and everyone else is eating. Initial ______

Independence
Children are always encouraged to do things for themselves. Things such as putting on shoes, sweaters, coats and snow pants and pulling their own pants down before a diaper change and pulling them up again after encourages them to be independent. Of course they are practiced at the appropriate age according to each child.

[Happy Days]

I guess I've been very lucky the last 4 years....I've never had a child who had this bad of sleeping habits. But going forward I have added to my guide book a Preparing Your Child for Daycare section. You have some good part Samantha33 that if you don't mind I will use?

Friday was horrible I didn't have a sleep sack yet and it was a hour and a half struggle to get 20 min of sleep out of child by themselves. Child kept climbing out of crib arrggg.....thankfull y it was a day I only had him and my own children but still not acceptable. I had a really frank and open conversation with mom. She apologized and understood that she has to change naps habits at home. Said she would start this weekend putting him down awake and in his bed (they nap him wherever they are on the couch or in play pen in TV room, so child is use to having her close).
Will have to see what Monday brings bought a sleep sack this weekend!

[Happy Days]

Thank you everyone the sleep sack work like a charm!! :) Child cried less than 4 min gave in laid down went to sleep, totally by himself :) YES!!! Only slept for 20min but left him less than a minute back to sleep!! I can't thank you guys enough my stress level went down and now I can focus on him having a smoother transition into daycare and getting my house back into our new routine now school (here in BC) looks to be starting soon! It's a great day!

[Secondtimearound]

Good to know !!! so glad the sleep sack worked, I will try it next time !!!