Why are they not playing toys............advi ce

[Samantha33]

I have lots of different toys but I'm finding this group isn't playing with them. Oh sure they pull it out and then pull out another instead of playing with the first one for a few minutes. I know they have short attention spans at this age (18 months, 21 months in particular) but I wish they at least play with a toy or look at the book for a few minutes. There must be one of these things that gets their attention. Any advice. I have two different levels of building blocks out, cars, Little Tykes mountain only partially set up so it's small, Cinderella Castle with little people accessories, books (2 are electronic) Kitchen and play food, V-Tech Kangaroo, and Zebra spin and bounce, and many other random toys. Is this too much stuff all at once?

[mickyc]

I wouldn't worry about it. I have tons of toys (seriously way too many!!), most days it all gets pulled out. That is just what little ones do. As they get older they will play with toys longer.

[jodaycare]

I honestly don't think it is you at all, my group is exactly the same. I think it is just because the parents play with them 24/7 and they don't know HOW to play independently. I also have a young group(a 3.5 yr old, three 2 year olds and a one year old) and they throw toys, dump buckets etc . And even when I had the older kids it was the same thing, I was constantly telling them to sit and play instead of running around like crazy people. I have one 2 year old who plays with nothing, even outside. He just calls my name all day and says nothing when i respond. Over the last few years I have noticed a change in how the children play, they seem to need constant interaction with an adult whereas 5 years ago, my group would play independently all day.

[Samantha33]

Your right about the kids years ago playing by themselves. I know parents occupy all of their time and don't give them time alone play, grow, become independent, and self soothe. I just started at 1 year old who can't play and can't self soothe "AT ALL". His Mom knows this and is trying to correct it now. Thank goodness she's on board with CIO. Maybe I need to teach them how to play with the toys and then sneak away lol. I like to have the first hr. and half during arrivals where I can get things done.

[AmandaKDT]

I don't know, all my crew are really good playing independently. Don't think it is fair to generalize and say all parents these days haven't taught their kids to play on their own.

There are so many different parenting styles and first time parents of course aren't going to realize that some of the things they do at home are going to back things difficult in group care. That is where the daycare provider comes in, teaching them to play independently along with all the other life skills we teach. For sure the personality, age and attention spans of kids affect their play and how long they will play with toys.

But I probably would put away some of the toys and rotate them through every few weeks. I find if there are less toys out they can focus on the toys that ARE out better.

[jodaycare]

I have been in this business for over 20 years and I have seen a huge change in the way children play. My daycare children have a few toys out each day, meaning 2 or 3 bucket toys at a time, maube 10 books in the book centre and my climbing mats and it makes no difference. They still bash and throw the toys everywhere and many of them are just wanderers. I end up rotating toys several times a day! Just to try to get them interested in playing with something for more than 2 seconds. Most of my daycare children are 2 or older and by that age they should be learning to play independently to a point. If I sit on the floor with them they will play for a short time but the minute I get up to change a diaper, use the washroom myself or prep a meal, they completely go wild and abandon all the toys, THAT is how I know that their parents play with them all the time. I also have a group of 5 boys right now and I find that they are much harder to keep occupied than the mixed group I had a couple of years ago. JMO

[5 Little Monkeys]

I agree with Amanda and jodaycare. I have also seen a huge change in the way children play over the last 10 years IME. Some parents keep their children so occupied that the child doesn't learn how to play or how to interact with people their own age. Other parents are starting to introduce technology so early on and than when they go to daycare they are totally lost as many daycares don't have that kind of stuff.

When I first started I had a very young group. 2 under a year old and 2 just 2 year olds and I found that if I had less toys available to play with, it went better. I feel that kids get overwhelmed when too many toys are out and instead of playing they just dump them all over the place. For myself, my own OCD kicks in when the play room is a disaster and it really bugs me when toys get broken because the kids don't have room to play so they are stepping on toys and books.

Right now I have an older group and I find that they are okay with more toys being out. Their imagination allows them to use the blocks and little people to pretend play instead of just dumping them everywhere. If I find though that dumping of toys is happening, I decrease the amount I have readily available to them.

[Samantha33]

Thanks ladies. AmandaKDT, sorry, I didn't mean to offend you by implying all parents. Like you said, parents don't think ahead to the time they will not constantly be there, when they will need these independent skills. I do know there are great parents out there, I was speaking in terms of the change between 20 years ago and today. I think I will put away many of the toys and see if they focus better less. Thanks again.

[AmandaKDT]

Thanks ladies. AmandaKDT, sorry, I didn't mean to offend you by implying all parents. Like you said, parents don't think ahead to the time they will not constantly be there, when they will need these independent skills. I do know there are great parents out there, I was speaking in terms of the change between 20 years ago and today. I think I will put away many of the toys and see if they focus better less. Thanks again.

Don't worry, wasn't offended. Just making conversation. :)

[ebhappydc]

I have 3 teens and I painfully recall my now 18 year old son wanted me to be the Activities Director constantly. My other two were fine to play on their own. Same with my groups of dcks some are totally fine occupying themselves, and others wander around in circles....
I had trouble with toys being thrown and ending up on someone's head (usually mine)...it hurt a lot, so I introduced 'Toss Time'. I have a bin filled with soft toys; pool toys are great - the kind that are soft and spongy, nerf balls, stuffies. I tell the kids they can only throw at 'Toss Time' and then we all go wild and crazy without hurting anyone... to clean up all the toys they have to try and throw them back into the bin. I introduced it to my younger group too - 15 months, and seems to work. If a child does throw a toy, I tell them immediately no, and that we only throw soft toys at Toss Time. It's worked for me for a while now.

[5 Little Monkeys]

That's a great idea ebhappydc! My group loves when I bring out the basket and small soft balls so they can play basketball. Might have to introduce toss time too!

[playfelt]

Take a look at some of the toys too and while they look cute they have very little play value in the sense that after the child has pushed a button a few times and seen the toy do it's thing the play value is gone. Make sure there are lots of open ended type toys too they can mix it up with. But yes kids have changed a lot. They totally lack curiosity and imagination compared to their counterparts of yesteryear.

[Secondtimearound]

Mine too ! I refuse to buy toys that do not engage imagination and .... They take them out and throw them all over . They love tv and I use it only at nap time for non nappers ( usually ) I have started putting the timer on for 10 minutes and making them take one toy and "play" then they can switch but I have 2 and up . I think it's not so much of parents playing with kids it's handing them their cell phones and iPads !!!
Very little imagination !! When we pretend here I'm constantly told , " we aren't in a restaurant ect ugh

[SevenwatersDaughter]

That's what it's like here too, with a three year old and two two-year olds. It helps if you get down and play with them -- get them interested! Not always possible when we have cleaning and meal planning and prep to do haha but it helps sometimes.

[AmandaKDT]

Take a look at some of the toys too and while they look cute they have very little play value in the sense that after the child has pushed a button a few times and seen the toy do it's thing the play value is gone. Make sure there are lots of open ended type toys too they can mix it up with. But yes kids have changed a lot. They totally lack curiosity and imagination compared to their counterparts of yesteryear.

Yes, for sure! Pretty much all my toys are opened ended - play kitchen, baby dolls and accessories, dress up clothes, little people play sets, trucks and cars, dress up clothes, blocks. If the only play comes from pressing buttons itsn't going to keep them busy long.

it is very interesting to hear about the number of providers that seem to have kids unable to play with anything that isn't electronic. I feel lucky because I can't say I have that problem with my crew at all. Interesting...

[torontokids]

My crew is pretty good at playing by themselves but they aren't necessarily like that with mom and dad. I have just made a conscious decision to not entertain them (which has been hard for me at times and some kids really do struggle with this) but once my first crew was "trained" then all new kids have just followed suit. That's not to say I don't have a couple sucky kids that want all my attention but they are redirected and usually find something to do. We do a lot of free play here and I learned quickly that the more I do for them (activities etc) the more they expect from me.

[torontokids]

We are also TV free here, don't know if that makes a difference but I may attract certain parents with this.

[AmandaKDT]

My crew is pretty good at playing by themselves but they aren't necessarily like that with mom and dad. I have just made a conscious decision to not entertain them (which has been hard for me at times and some kids really do struggle with this) but once my first crew was "trained" then all new kids have just followed suit. That's not to say I don't have a couple sucky kids that want all my attention but they are redirected and usually find something to do. We do a lot of free play here and I learned quickly that the more I do for them (activities etc) the more they expect from me.

I purposefully don't entertain as well. Unless someone needs a redirection because of a disagreement with a friend I keep free play totally up to them. I may introduce a new toy or suggest a play idea, but other than that I don't get involved at all (unless of course someone wants my to try the delicious chocolate cake they "made"). I also don't have TV as an option either, except for my non-sleepers during quiet time .

[5 Little Monkeys]

Yes, for sure! Pretty much all my toys are opened ended - play kitchen, baby dolls and accessories, dress up clothes, little people play sets, trucks and cars, dress up clothes, blocks. If the only play comes from pressing buttons itsn't going to keep them busy long.

it is very interesting to hear about the number of providers that seem to have kids unable to play with anything that isn't electronic. I feel lucky because I can't say I have that problem with my crew at all. Interesting...

Almost all my toys are open ended and I only have a few that require batteries ( hate those toys lol) but I have found a lot of kids are being given technology toys early on. I had one mom tell me that her child got an iPod of some sort for his 3rd birthday!! The even crazier part is that they returned it for one that was internet capable! ( the first one wasn't a regular iPod it was for children...I'm not up to date on tech stuff lol. Seriously this 3 year old knows more than I do!) I've also had a 4 year old who brought her own iPad ( yes her own! Brother had one too!) to daycare to use after nap. When I told mom she had to nap/lay quietly for 30 mins first, mom was ticked off at me!

I know technology is taking over but it blows my mind when such young kids are given access to it. I've worked with large groups in dc centres and the style of play has changed so much in the past 10 years. Kids pick up toy phones and take "pictures" with them instead of the toy camera, books get turned sideways and they are now "iPads", instead of pretending to go to the grocery store they go to the apple store!

[AmandaKDT]

Almost all my toys are open ended and I only have a few that require batteries ( hate those toys lol) but I have found a lot of kids are being given technology toys early on. I had one mom tell me that her child got an iPod of some sort for his 3rd birthday!! The even crazier part is that they returned it for one that was internet capable! ( the first one wasn't a regular iPod it was for children...I'm not up to date on tech stuff lol. Seriously this 3 year old knows more than I do!) I've also had a 4 year old who brought her own iPad ( yes her own! Brother had one too!) to daycare to use after nap. When I told mom she had to nap/lay quietly for 30 mins first, mom was ticked off at me!

I know technology is taking over but it blows my mind when such young kids are given access to it. I've worked with large groups in dc centres and the style of play has changed so much in the past 10 years. Kids pick up toy phones and take "pictures" with them instead of the toy camera, books get turned sideways and they are now "iPads", instead of pretending to go to the grocery store they go to the apple store!

My daughters both play with the ipad we own, my oldest has been able to use it independently since she was 3! Who needs to read, right? But they don't get unlimited access and they both can also easily do imaginative free play.

Yes, one of my friends as a 5 year old and an almost 3 year old and they BOTH have their own iPads. Crazy! I make sure my girls know the iPad is MINE and getting to use it is a privilege, not a right.

But technology has changed so much, it doesn't surprise the examples you listed. Just like kids will play kitchen and copy mommy, they will pretend to ge texting and taking pictures with their phones too!

[5 Little Monkeys]

Oh yes the texting! How could I forget lol. I have kids pretend to text mommy instead of pretending to call mommy. Although, if I had a child I admit mine would be like that too. I very very rarely talk on my phone so my kid wouldn't know that's an option lol.

I got my own iPad awhile ago...I can't imagine having 2 for the kids plus both parents had their own! Sharing and turn taking is a thing of the past in some households lol

[superfun]

Oh that reminded me of something funny! I took my daughter to the preschool wellness fair a couple years ago. During their eye test, they are to identify pictures. One picture was the shape of an old rotary phone. My daughter looked confused for a second or two, and then called it a tshirt! The optometrist laughed and said for the last 3 years or so, it gets tshirt more often than telephone.

[AmandaKDT]

Oh that reminded me of something funny! I took my daughter to the preschool wellness fair a couple years ago. During their eye test, they are to identify pictures. One picture was the shape of an old rotary phone. My daughter looked confused for a second or two, and then called it a tshirt! The optometrist laughed and said for the last 3 years or so, it gets tshirt more often than telephone.

I saw a news clip the other day where they showed a group of school age kids a typewriter and asked them what they thought it was. None had a clue and came up with some funny responses. Too funny!

[Secondtimearound]

Lol 5lm you made me laugh with your apple store comment !!!!!!! Exactly !! I was trying to get all of mine to use their imaginations and we dressed up as princesses and they lost it because I was using a blankie as my cape !! They wanted me to go buy capes !! ugh try to not let that spoil your day ! being told by two 3.5 yr ods that you are NOT a princess !!! LOL

[5 Little Monkeys]

LOL....if it makes you feel any better, you are a princess to me!! :) haha

The girl that had her own ipad is now gone. It's been nice since when she was here EVERY toy was an ipad to the group. Funny how just one child can have such an impact on them. I still hear it from time to time but nowhere near as bad!