Potty training thoughts

[Lee-Bee]

Hello ladies,

I am looking for thoughts since many of you have much more experience with this potty training business than I.

My daughter is 22months, she's been sitting on the potty for about 4 months just for the sake of being used to it. In the last 2 weeks she has been very keen to sit on it and asks and gets really excited when her little friend here goes on the potty as she gets to go sit too. She also started waking dry most mornings (12-13hr nights) and after many naps (3hrs) and some days can go 4hr stretches dry.

So, I figured with the increased bladder control and the sudden interest now might be her 'prime' training window. Yesterday I put her in panties (the gerber lined ones that absorb a bit). While she had many 'accidents' yesterday everytime she peed she stopped what she was doing, yelled potty and made a run for it (obviously too late). Prior to wearing panties she would sometimes tell me, but would just keep playing and didn't care if she had pooped.

The thick panties have been great as the panties (and her pants and socks) have absorbed everything, she gets soaked but there has yet to be a puddle so I oddly haven't had to wash any floors or furniture (just laundry).

Do I count this as progress and give her a few more days to see if it all clicks?

I ask because despite loving to sit on the potty she totally sees potty time as 'social time' and sits there singing, chatting, laughing and not peeing. It's like she hasn't yet figured out how to tell her body to pee while on the potty and I am not sure how to teach her how to do that. She will ask to go on the potty, sit for 5 min with nothing then go off to play to pee a short time later.

I only have her and a 26 month old so can give more attention to this process if it's worthwhile. The 26month old is fully trained now as well.

Thoughts? I figured it was worthwhile to give her a couple days to see if she progresses, if not then we can wait another month or so and try again.

[Rachael]

Absolutely it's progress.

Learning any new skill is a process. There are good days. There are bad days. What I would say is now that you've begun, please don't get frustrated by a run of bad days and go back. It's a process. When a child starts to learn how to walk, we accept that they will stumbled and fall often as they master this new skill. Even if they sometime fall hard, we never think to stop them from learning with a view of making them crawl until we are ready to try again. Toilet training is the same.

It's a process. It takes practice. Some children learn faster than others. They will stumble as they learn and have an accident.

But going back to diapers is wholly about convenience for the adults and it's never about what's in the best interest ofthe child :-)

I toilet train all my day care babies beginning straight after their second birthday - unless there are clear reasons not to. Doing two at the moment.

[superfun]

Yep, keep at it. She's getting it.

[gcj]

you can keep going like that and it'll come......orrrrr.... . I prefer to take off pants and panties (with parent's consent). She's yours, but for others in the future. Peeing on themselves and the floor stops them in their tracks pretty darn fast! It really gets their attention and they really don't like this. I've done about 15 kids or so this way and on average it takes 2-3 days.
Of course if you have carpets, you may not like this method! :laugh:

[Lee-Bee]

you can keep going like that and it'll come......orrrrr.... . I prefer to take off pants and panties (with parent's consent). She's yours, but for others in the future. Peeing on themselves and the floor stops them in their tracks pretty darn fast! It really gets their attention and they really don't like this. I've done about 15 kids or so this way and on average it takes 2-3 days.
Of course if you have carpets, you may not like this method! :laugh:

Can't do it! Just something about the while naked bum all over my house aspect lol. The little one I take care of did this at home, for like 4 months and mom wanted me to have her naked here but I couldn't do it.

That said, I'm not convinced peeing on the floor would have a different reaction for my daughter then she has right now, peeing with the panties and pants on. She gets soaked, she freezes and stops what she is doing to run to the potty.

I need to get her to make herself pee while on the potty that's the step she is missing. Today she woke after a 2.5hr nap, was dry and she sat on the potty (happily) but didn't pee. About 30min later she peed while playing and ran herself to the potty (too late). I know she could have made her self pee 30 minutes prior when she was on the potty. She just doesn't seem to know how yet. I have no idea how to teach that skill! I tell her to push the pee out and she ends up pushing the potty on the floor (pushing herself into it while sitting on it) I'm not sure what other words to use "push your inner muscles around your bladder to squeeze the pee out?" lol.

Hopefully a few more days and she figures it out. In the very least right now she is getting herself in the habit of stopping what she is doing to run to the potty...it may be right AFTER she pees instead of BEFORE...but it's still a good habit to master!

My big concern is that she seemed to be somewhat ready for this right now...so I started but we go on a 2 week overseas vacation in mid-February! So, if she hasn't fully mastered it all then we'll have to put her in diapers because we won't have any access to laundry and as willing as I am do keep at it now...I'm not willing to have a suitcase full of 2 week old soiled pants and panties...ewwwwwwwww w.

[SillyGirl_C]

VERY interested in this post. Thanks all that are contributing. My kiddo pees on the potty at daycare but still is wet in between. she also refuses to sit on the potty ay home. She is 25mths and I have tried almost everything to encourage...except the naked approach. Is it really that successful? I will take three days pee on the carpet and a cleaning bill over six more months of power plays from a toddler. Sigh.

[Lee-Bee]

So here we are about 8 weeks later and well no progress!

My daughter is now 24months. She wakes dry in the morning (12-13hrs later), dry after nap (2-4hrs), she is in panties all day but has used the potty maybe a total of like 5times in 2 months! She now holds her pee for 3-4+ hr stretches during the day. When she needs to pee she usually knows right before, gives me that look, yells pee or potty and runs for it...never making it.

She is a very determined, persistent, strong willed, busy child.

I have tried everything, being calm and nice, being firm, rewards, down right bribery. I've sat her on the potty with videos (potty videos, her favorite shows). She does NOT use the potty. I sat her on the potty for 1.5 hrs one day (she hadn't peed in 3hrs when I first sat her on it) she watched her videos with great enthusiasm...when I FINALLY gave up after 1.5hrs she ran off and peed while running down the hall. gahhhhhhhhh

I don't think she has a CLUE HOW to pee. She has everything else figured out but CANNOT or WLL NOT pee on command.

I have no idea how to teach this. She is a very busy child, she is so busy while on the potty, singing, talking, touching everything that I don't think her body relaxes enough to pee (no matter how long she sits or how long it's been since she last peed). It's not like I am making her sit on the potty every 20minutes, she hasn't peed in 3-4hrs there IS pee in her bladder she could squeeze out if she knew how (or wanted to). At times it looks like she is trying (we try to demonstrate how to force pee out - which is hard to do lol).

She KNOWS what the potty is for as her daycare friend uses one here (for a few months) and my daughter watches all the time. She watches myself and my husband use the toilet.

We have the small floor potty and a toilet top potty...she happily sits on both.

SO...do we just keep on going? I no longer tell her to go on the potty...I no longer ask if she needs to go. I do remind her throughout the day "you are in panties, don't pee on the chair" don't pee on the... I think she is listening and not peeing on anything (but she isn't peeing!!!!! She just waits hours and hours and hours then ends up peeing while she runs. Or she pee's during nap and nighttime.

I still use a nap/night diaper because she is NOT a morning person and if we even enter her room first thing after she wakes, well, we all suffer. So we leave her for a good 20-30+ minutes before she is ready for the day to start...and while she is still dry when we enter the room we have to go slowly with the start of the day or she just doesn't cope and the rest of the morning is shot. Some days we can get her onto the potty and she'll pee (a few times) but most days she pees on the way there. I don't believe we'd succeed in forcing her out of bed to make it to the potty to pee until she has started successfully making herself pee on it during the day...because we'd end up with a miserable, half asleep toddler on a potty against her will that still doesn't know HOW to pee.

Thoughts? I've potty trained many kids in my work over the years...I've yet to meet one that even remotely resembles my child!!!!

[5 Little Monkeys]

Do you think it's maybe a control thing? Like if you tell me to clean I'm not going too but I'll clean when I want too kinda thing? (I hate cleaning lol)

I wonder if just dropping it would work? Don't remind her, don't mention it. When I change diapers I ask the 2 potty trained kids to go to the washroom but other than that, I don't ask.

Can you maybe put a potty beside her bed? Is it maybe a privacy thing?

Good luck!! Potty training sucks LOL

[Lee-Bee]

Do you think it's maybe a control thing? Like if you tell me to clean I'm not going too but I'll clean when I want too kinda thing? (I hate cleaning lol)

I wonder if just dropping it would work? Don't remind her, don't mention it. When I change diapers I ask the 2 potty trained kids to go to the washroom but other than that, I don't ask.

Can you maybe put a potty beside her bed? Is it maybe a privacy thing?

Good luck!! Potty training sucks LOL

Vey valid question but I don't think it is...the only time I ASK her to sit on the potty is when it's been 3-3.5hrs since she last peed and I think maybe she'll pee now. I also only sometimes do this (because it rarely, if ever, results in a pee on the potty!). She sat on the potty once today that is it. I've never made her go try on the potty with any regular frequency...the whole reason I started potty training so young is because she was holding it so long, she showed interest in the potty and my DCG girl was training and my daughter wanted to sit on the potty as well...it all kind of seemed like it was time to try.

As for a potty in her room...she is still in a crib and in a heavy duty sleepsac, with layers of pj's on lol (she has the coldest room in the house). There is no way she could get out of all that to go on her own. She is fully able to pull her own panties and pants up and down but at 24months of age I wouldn't expect her to get out of all the pj layers! We are not looking to move her out of her crib for at least a few more months because she is quite happy in there and she sleeps great in it.

I can't help but think she has no clue HOW to pee. Everything else is in order: holding it for long periods, knowing right before she pees (only a couple seconds before), able to communicate, ability to get her panties/pants up and down on her own. She just doesn't pee on the potty!!!! So as far as I can tell she doesn't yet know how to relax her body enough to pee...or she is messing with me. And yes, she totally has the personality to be messing with me (even if she is only 24months)!!

[flowerchild]

I agree with 5 Little Monkeys - drop it for a bit and see what happens. Whether she's messing with you or just not quite developmentally ready for it, it sounds like it may have become a bit of a game for her. She gets to sit on the potty for hours and get stories read to her and watch movies and has all of Mommy's focus on her whenever she is on the potty...why would she want to pee on the potty and give all that up? She is still young. If you took a break for a bit and started up in a month or two, it might be a smoother process?

[5 Little Monkeys]

Keep in mind this is just my opinion....but I don't understand potty training unless the child can get to the potty when needed. Once a child starts potty training and is well on their way, I remove them from the playpen to a cot or plastic mattress. If they need to go but can't get out, I don't feel this is fair. They will wet themselves and in my mind, this is setting them up for failure. Could this be why she has started holding it?

I haven't had a child potty train but not ready to move out of the playpen so I'm not sure what I'd do if they weren't ready for a big kid bed but ready to train though!

[Lee-Bee]

Oh...we've only done the videos on the potty 3x in total!!! she gets very little tv here so I was hoping she would sit long enough to naturally pee. Definitely not a daily thing. Also, when she is on the potty I have started to completely leave the bathroom so she is alone (she stays on the potty but keeps singing and talking and counting and everything but stopping to pee)...I was hoping that my not being there took the distractions away...but it doesn't. I long ago got bored with reading to her on the potty. The few times she actually goes on the potty she's on her own now.

My concern with stopping is that long term it'll mess things up. Will she remember in 2-3 months and refuse to potty train because she knows she can go back to diapers? Also, we had to use diapers for a few days (she fell down the stairs and injured her leg and was limping and didn't seem right to make her try and run to the potty lol). Anyways she would get upset when she had to pee and I found us telling her it was ok to pee because she had a diaper on. Which just seems wrong to be saying to a child lol.

In everyone's more expert experience here...would we be largely set back by stopping altogether and starting up again later? Like I mentioned everything is in place here except this one little bit. I suspect that bit is a developmental thing that will come with time...are we best to spend that time potty training or not??!!

She's only 24months, I don't much mind going back to diapers...I just don't want to be screwed in a few months because she is older and less cooperative and has learned she can go backwards!!

[5 Little Monkeys]

I might have missed it but does she pee regularly when in a diaper?

I don't think going back to diapers is the end of the world if you think she isn't ready to train. It will come in time and when she's ready it will be much more easier :)

[Lee-Bee]

I might have missed it but does she pee regularly when in a diaper?

I don't think going back to diapers is the end of the world if you think she isn't ready to train. It will come in time and when she's ready it will be much more easier :)

She was already waking dry in morning and at nap for a good month before I began the potty training. That was why I began so early...she was holding her pee for long periods and showing interest which to me were the cues to begin. When she was in diapers regularly she was peeing every 2.5-3ish hours I would say. Sometimes longer...She has in the last little bit stretched it longer between pees (whether that is a result of not wanting to use the potty or what I do not know).

[5 Little Monkeys]

Could she just be an infrequent pee-er? Have you spoke to your doctor about this?

Have you tried increasing her liquids to "force" her to pee more often and see if that works...if she's still holding it for 3+ hours than I'd say she's controlling it/playing a game.

[Lee-Bee]

Haven't spoken to a doctor. Hadn't thought to.

My husband claims he only peed about 5 times total from Kindergarten through Highschool during the school day. He didn't like to pee at school (might miss something). I don't pee all that often either. We drink plenty here...just prefer to hold it and make the trip worthwhile :-) So it is completely possible she just doesn't need to pee often.

Not sure I could increase her liquids. I could try juice (which she normally never has at home) but she gets milk or water at meals and snacks and isn't limited in any way.

[5 Little Monkeys]

Lol...I was and am the same!

Maybe she just doesn't have to go that often. To help with the accidents when she does have to go, is there somewhere you could place a potty that was closer? Even if just for a bit until she learns her body signs of needing to go pee better.

[kindertime]

Have you tried giving her water while on the toilet. I have seen this a couple of times, though not for quite so long. For some reason, when I first started, I just always started running the water in the sink while the child is sitting on the toilet. And the kids also start brushing their teeth at the same time, so they all have a cup in the bathroom so I just keep giving them sips until they want to stop, or they pee. Also here we have a 10 second habit. They sit and count (or I do) to10 and if they don't pee, they get up. Every 5-10 minutes until they pee. Like you, I don't necessarily stay in the bathroom, just in and out (gotta check on the others, too.)

Okay, so maybe this idea is way too out of the box, but you said earlier that she sees you and her dad peeing, I'm assuming he's standing up. So what if you tried to get her to stand over the floor potty and pee like daddy. Might she go for something like that?

[33 Daiseys]

i run the tap, no one can hold a pee, while hearing water running :)

[Lee-Bee]

I have already tried running the sink the last few days! I've been joking to my friend that 'I've drained a lake but have yet to fill a potty" lol. I can offer a cup while on the potty see if that gets us anywhere.

She watches me pee all the time, my husband has started sitting to 'try and pee' while she is on her potty, she has seen him pee a few times standing up but I'm not sure she would have really connected that. I don't think our potties would work with a girl standing! They have handles and it would be such a wide stance she would totally fall over!

Gahhhhh...I think my kid is broken lol. I've tried the counting but my daughter LOVES counting and that sends her into naming colours and gets her rambling. Which further distracts her from trying to calm her body and pee. Maybe a soundproof, completely dark room would work lol.

I tried her naked one morning...but if she's only peeing every 3-4hrs...it means a naked kid all over my house and no pee. The whole peeing all over the floor and not liking it doesn't work if the kid doesn't pee.

[flowerchild]

Oh...we've only done the videos on the potty 3x in total!!! she gets very little tv here so I was hoping she would sit long enough to naturally pee. Definitely not a daily thing. Also, when she is on the potty I have started to completely leave the bathroom so she is alone (she stays on the potty but keeps singing and talking and counting and everything but stopping to pee)...I was hoping that my not being there took the distractions away...but it doesn't. I long ago got bored with reading to her on the potty. The few times she actually goes on the potty she's on her own now.

OK. I misread it then. :) Probably not an attention thing then.



In everyone's more expert experience here...would we be largely set back by stopping altogether and starting up again later? Like I mentioned everything is in place here except this one little bit. I suspect that bit is a developmental thing that will come with time...are we best to spend that time potty training or not??!!

She's only 24months, I don't much mind going back to diapers...I just don't want to be screwed in a few months because she is older and less cooperative and has learned she can go backwards!!

You know, I'm usually an advocate of "once you start, don't stop" for toilet training, BUT it's been two months of this and she still isn't able to go pee. I don't think you'll be messing anything up if you just wait for a few months and try again.

Or if you're worried that she won't pee in her diaper, maybe use pull ups? I think you said that she could pull them up and down on her own, so if you leave the potty out, she can go sit on it if she wants to but you also have the pull up on in case of accidents. In that case, I'd still stop asking her to sit on the potty or referencing it at all.

[Lee-Bee]

5LM...I will try a potty in the middle of our house today to see if that helps her. I'd been weary of moving it from the bathroom because my daughter is so big on doll play right now I have been really trying to enforce a "potty is not for dolls" rule but I am pretty sure having the potty out near the dolls will only encourage her! I do disinfect the potties after each use...but my concern is if one of the girls pee on it without my knowing. Will give it a try.

[superfun]

I'm not a potty training expert, so I could be way off here. My daughter was similar, she could hold it, and she could tell me when she needed to go, but she couldn't pee on command. She could, and still does, hold it for a LONG time! We ended up buying her pull ups, and I think that helped her relax. She was potty trained within a week of using pull ups.