How to tell parents to feed their kids breakfast

[Frogsandrabbits]

How do I politely tell parents that their kids need to have had breakfast before arriving at my door? I want to do it nicely. I just opened in Jan and two of my one year olds come without breakfast. I really didn't think to discuss this ahead of time as I just thought it was a given, but will be discussing with future parents! I just don't have the time to feed two toddlers as my other kids are arriving. Any input as to the wording would be appreciated! Thx.

[JennJubie]

Part of my handbook reads: "Please have your child ready for a day of fun indoors and out. Breakfast fed, play clothes that are not too precious to get dirty, outerwear appropriate to the day, etc. "

Mine as well. The wording is a little different, but the same points.

[AmandaKDT]

Do you have a schedule of your day as part of your parent policies? Mine states that arrivals & free play time is 7:15 to 9 am, then snack at 9 am. This shows that I don't give breakfast. You could also add a note to about how the child must arrive for the morning ready for the day, including already having had breakfast. If you don't have a schedule you could distribute one to parents as an amendment to your policies and get parents to sign off that they have read it.

At the same time you just need to tell the families you have issue with that you cannot provide breakfast, as it is too busy due to drop offs. It isn't always easy having these conversations, but I have found face to face the best way to deal with anything.

[CrazyEight]

If it's already in your policies and they're ignoring it, then I'd be a bit passive-aggressive with them, personally (haha). I'd say something like, "Billy seemed really hungry this morning, and you know we don't have snack until 10am (or whatever time), did he not want to eat his breakfast this morning?"

It can be hard to have a direct conversation, especially if everyone is still getting used to each other, as in "Just so you're aware, Billy needs to be fed breakfast before daycare, as that's not part of my program." and you may have to come to that, but you could always try the lighter approach, and see what they come back with.

[Suzie_Homemaker]

My contract says all children must have eaten breakfast before arriving at day care. Down a bit, it says that I provide lunch and two snacks.

If you don't give breakfast, then it is naughty that parents just expect. Do you say what snacks and meals you give so that without breakfast and supper being given by you, parents should know?

I would speak to parent and say that the child is hungry long before morning snack and that they need bigger breakfast at home - that way not accusing of no breakfast. Might be they not eating enough? If they say they want you to give, and thought you did, be ready to say yes or no depending on your wish. If you willing to give, do you want parent to provide?

Think it all through before speaking. Think about all the things they might say or ask and decide whay you want to do and what you do not want so you are ready for anything they might say. Be prepared.

Parents are silly sometimes.

[Frogsandrabbits]

Having just opened in early January it never really crossed my mind to specify that children should eat before arriving at my door. When my first child was in daycare I never assumed my provider would feed him, he was always ready for the day.
When the children arrive in the morning I have a routine of asking the parent how the child's morning is so far and if there's any concerns etc that I need to know about. Both of these parents say that the children haven't eaten, they pretty much are woken up and brought here. So I do say some fault falls on me for probably not saying earlier. However in my contract and policies book it does say that I give a snack at 10:15, lunch 12:30, and second snack at 3. So I will be discussing this with my parents today upon pickup that the children need breakfast before arriving. A friend of mine that did daycare charged an extra $5/day for breakfast. I have chosen not to give that option because my mornings are crazy and I really don't have time. I want all my daycare kids to have the same attention and devotion right from the start!

[MonkeyPrincess]

Having just opened in early January it never really crossed my mind to specify that children should eat before arriving at my door. When my first child was in daycare I never assumed my provider would feed him, he was always ready for the day.
When the children arrive in the morning I have a routine of asking the parent how the child's morning is so far and if there's any concerns etc that I need to know about. Both of these parents say that the children haven't eaten, they pretty much are woken up and brought here. So I do say some fault falls on me for probably not saying earlier. However in my contract and policies book it does say that I give a snack at 10:15, lunch 12:30, and second snack at 3. So I will be discussing this with my parents today upon pickup that the children need breakfast before arriving. A friend of mine that did daycare charged an extra $5/day for breakfast. I have chosen not to give that option because my mornings are crazy and I really don't have time. I want all my daycare kids to have the same attention and devotion right from the start!

I am Glad you mentioned your contract. So with that being said, definitely have the conversation with the parents. You don't offer breakfast so the children must be fed before they come to your house. Simple as that. If the parents say the kid is not a big eater in the morning, you can tell them a little is better than nothing or else they will have an empty belly til snack time at 10.15.

[mickyc]

I put it in my contract also. Specify BEFORE as well. I have had parents bring their child with their breakfast to eat here. Nope! I don't have time for that either. It amazes me some days how unorganized parents can be. I don't allow my daughter to eat in our vehicle so it annoys me that kids come covered in food from eating in the car!

[bright sparks]

I put it in my contract also. Specify BEFORE as well. I have had parents bring their child with their breakfast to eat here. Nope! I don't have time for that either. It amazes me some days how unorganized parents can be. I don't allow my daughter to eat in our vehicle so it annoys me that kids come covered in food from eating in the car!

I know that it is hectic getting out the door in the morning for work with little ones but I have a family who give their son breakfast in the car and then he brings it in my house in a baggy even though it's against policy. Thing is, I think what happens a lot isn't just poorly organized households but this particular family have told me flat out that he looked so peaceful sleeping so didn't want to wake him. But then they are rushing out the door without a proper breakfast at home. Makes me shake my head that they have such little thought and consideration to dcproviders who have multiple children and don't care about breaking policies.

To the OP....I think amending your contract with very clear terms that breakfast is neither provided or an option is very important. Also just adopt a strict no outside food policy so that bringing breakfast in is not an option. I put it down to allergies so I can additionally add that children's hands and face need to be thoroughly cleaned prior to entering daycare. On top of this written notification I strongly believe that there will always be those families who still don't get it. You have to talk to these people face to face and have them acknowledge it. Don't even begin to assume that just because you have put it in writing that they have "got it". I gave up on common sense a long time ago.

[JennJubie]

I know that it is hectic getting out the door in the morning for work with little ones but I have a family who give their son breakfast in the car and then he brings it in my house in a baggy even though it's against policy. Thing is, I think what happens a lot isn't just poorly organized households but this particular family have told me flat out that he looked so peaceful sleeping so didn't want to wake him. But then they are rushing out the door without a proper breakfast at home. Makes me shake my head that they have such little thought and consideration to dcproviders who have multiple children and don't care about breaking policies.

To the OP....I think amending your contract with very clear terms that breakfast is neither provided or an option is very important. Also just adopt a strict no outside food policy so that bringing breakfast in is not an option. I put it down to allergies so I can additionally add that children's hands and face need to be thoroughly cleaned prior to entering daycare. On top of this written notification I strongly believe that there will always be those families who still don't get it. You have to talk to these people face to face and have them acknowledge it. Don't even begin to assume that just because you have put it in writing that they have "got it". I gave up on common sense a long time ago.

I had a parent do this while there was a peanut allergy here. It states right in my contract that nut products are not served here because of potential for allergic reactions. Anyway... this Mom walks in my door holding her sons breakfast, (even though my contract clearly states they are to eat breakfast before arriving), which is smothered in peanut butter. The child with the allergy was here that day, so I went and got a baggie, bagged the breakfast and informed the mother that he could not eat it here. It was the last time she brought breakfast to my house.

[kindertime]

Whenever I have an issue that needs to be addressed with one or more parents, I usually like to write a letter to everyone. That way, the conversation can be limited if there is no time at pick-up but they all still get the same information. It's also sometimes easier because no one is "put on the spot."

If you haven't done it already, maybe something like this,

Dear parents,

This has been such a wonderful month since I opened my daycare. It has been just a flurry of activity here. With all of this new excitement however, I believe an issue may have been overlooked.

It is very important that your children eat something before coming to daycare. My schedule does not allow me to provide breakfast and we don't have morning snack until 10:15. I am afraid if your child has not had anything to eat when they arrive, they will not be able to fully enjoy their morning activities.

Thank you very much for your cooperation,



I also think it is a good idea to have this conversation or letter for all parents because, in the future the child who has had breakfast now, might be the one who comes without eating next month. This way, everyone is on the same page.

Do you have a policy about bringing the food into your house? If not, consider one. I have had children walk in at 7:00am with a baggie of chips, cheesies, and even a pizza pocket! "But she just found it in the car..." NO! Any parent who has allowed this has seen me take it out of their child's hand and put it straight into the garbage. I am guessing it's just because they want me to be "the bad guy." Happy to oblige. My policies are in place for a reason.

[sandylynn]

I honestly don't mind giving any of the little ones, toast or cheerios etc. when they arrive at 7:15...I know it's hard for some kids to eat right after they get up...but I was having one dkg show up at like 10:30 (norm for them) and tell me she hasn't had breakfast...SERIOUSL Y? I told the mom I do not serve breakfast past 9:30..and that's a pain in the ...so guess who shows up now about 9:25....honest to god! The little girl actually showed up with her dad and says "my mom said you have to give me breakfast cause I am on time"....!!!!!?????

[kindertime]

:rolleyes: Well....you know, you have to teach manipulation early... otherwise kids just won't learn.

[Suzie_Homemaker]

I honestly don't mind giving any of the little ones, toast or cheerios etc. when they arrive at 7:15...I know it's hard for some kids to eat right after they get up...but I was having one dkg show up at like 10:30 (norm for them) and tell me she hasn't had breakfast...SERIOUSL Y? I told the mom I do not serve breakfast past 9:30..and that's a pain in the ...so guess who shows up now about 9:25....honest to god! The little girl actually showed up with her dad and says "my mom said you have to give me breakfast cause I am on time"....!!!!!?????

Why not have set time for breakfast like other meals/snacks. Say, 7.30am is breakfast. If they come later, they missed it. Just like if they show up at 3pm, they missed lunch.

[sandylynn]

Why not have set time for breakfast like other meals/snacks. Say, 7.30am is breakfast. If they come later, they missed it. Just like if they show up at 3pm, they missed lunch.

Yes I hear you Suzie_Homemaker....t here is a lot of things I should change lol....somehow I always end up with parents that want to run their own show! lol

[mattsmom]

I have it in my contract that I do not do breakfast for children arriving after 7:15 am. I only have a couple kids that start earlier, a few times a month, so I don't have to do it often.
What bugs me is parents who bring their kids later in the morning with half their breakfast in their hands and want them to sit at the table to finish it. I don't have time to put them at the table and watch them eat while I have a bunch of little ones running around in the playroom!
I let them know that they have to get them to finish it before they come.

[sandylynn]

Yes mattsmom...but asking is one thing...receiving is another!

[Suzie_Homemaker]

I have it in my contract that I do not do breakfast for children arriving after 7:15 am. I only have a couple kids that start earlier, a few times a month, so I don't have to do it often.
What bugs me is parents who bring their kids later in the morning with half their breakfast in their hands and want them to sit at the table to finish it. I don't have time to put them at the table and watch them eat while I have a bunch of little ones running around in the playroom!
I let them know that they have to get them to finish it before they come.

I would hand the breakfast back to parent and say that breakfast is done and I can't suspend the whole curriculum to watch their child eat so next food will be snack. If they comment that child not eaten enough to wait that long, tell parent they can supervise their child eating in the car and then join us when ready to participate in the current scheduled activity. It will only happen the one time. Not happen again if parent has to supervise own kid outside the building.

[Polkaroo]

I agree with everyone. Just politely tell them. No issues there. Don't be intimidated by your parents. They will respect you for your openness and honesty. I use to serve a morning snack but found all my kids were still hungry in the morning so dropped the morning snack, I now serve breakfast and early lunch and afternoon snack. Whatever your schedule is like, just reinforce it with parents.

[Playschool teacher]

Hi,
As a playschool teacher as of three years ago and a dayhome provider now i can say to the original post two words 'Good Luck' lol. Basically there is no hope and i just have food prepared for those cases, but i choose the menu not them. The parents get to see it weekly if they visit the blog if not the onus is on them.

[daycarelady2]

In my contract I say that I provide morning snack lunch and afternoon snack. If a parent is running late I've had them text and ask if we have had snack yet and if we haven't I will wait the ten minutes until they get here. I also have two parents that send their kids with breakfast and they eat it once they get here and we are waiting for more friends to arrive. Maybe you could suggest they send their child's breakfast if they don't have time to get breakfast into the kid in the morning?

[Suzie_Homemaker]

I wondering if the problem now solved?

[kindertime]

I also have two parents that send their kids with breakfast and they eat it once they get here and we are waiting for more friends to arrive. Maybe you could suggest they send their child's breakfast if they don't have time to get breakfast into the kid in the morning?

I did that once. Never again. The issue- the breakfast they brought was Fruit Loops. :thumbdown: