How to Tell a Family Last Spot Taken?

[ebhappydc]

I had a wonderful family come Friday nite for interview...said they really liked everything and they had to check on Monday with their employer if they could get flex time to pick up their child by the end of my daycare day. They did not think it would be a problem, but had to confirm first. So, that's fine, but i'm having an interview with someone else tonight. I know whoever gives the deposit first gets the spot and i prefer teachers which is my tonight's interview, but then what words do i use to tell the first family from Friday that the spot is gone? I know you snooze you lose, but they didn't really snooze...was the weekend in between. I think they're going to be very upset with me.... too bad so sad i know but these are realllly nice people.... thanks bunches.... and i know that neither of them may sign up, but just want to be prepared in case i get a situation. i know, shouldn't count my chicks.... tx!

[Suzie_Homemaker]

Don't count chickens.

This second family might not be so nice face-to-face. They might not like you. Why stress about a situation which isn't real yet? Make no sense.

When second interview done, you will know who you would like. If first family, sit tight and see if hours work out. If they don't, then they aren't option unless you want change hours. If you prefer teacher and like second family, then offer place to teacher.

I not give place to first to give money. I offer place to my preference and hope I am their preference too, if not, go to next in line.

Once have contract and deposit from prefered client, then say to other that sorry, but better fit has already handed in their paperwork and place is gone.

[torontokids]

One way I have handled this is to let the family know that after some reflection I feel the other family is a better fit for your current group. I will usually say something like it is an older child and they are close in age to a couple of the other children. Families always know I am interviewing others and a decision will be made based on best match.

[Emma H]

Do whatever works best for you and your family! If you like the second family more and their schedule works better for you, go with them. Another thing I also consider is the length of time they are going to have their child in my care.

I had this happen to me over the weekend. I had a family who wanted the spot on Saturday but I had another interview on Sunday. I liked the family I met with on Sunday more so when Saturdays family called me last night I told them the family that was suppose to be moving changed their mind and the spot won't be open anymore but I could put them on my waiting list. They were a little disappointed but said they wanted to be put on my list. This way you aren't hurting their feelings and just in case family B doesn't work out I have a good chance of a back up plan!
:)

[Suzie_Homemaker]

I had a family who wanted the spot on Saturday but I had another interview on Sunday. I liked the family I met with on Sunday more so when Saturdays family called me last night I told them the family that was suppose to be moving changed their mind and the spot won't be open anymore but I could put them on my waiting list. :)
Do what best for you but don't lie. Make general statement if feel explain needed beyond saying the place is taken. Lying affects you credibility and when you work with children, credibility very important.

[Emma H]

What they don't know won't hurt them. I would rather tell a white lie and potentially have a back up plan than tell family a I liked family b more than them. As far as I know many daycare providers tell families during interviews to get back to them as soon as possible because they are interviewing other families meanwhile there are no other families. That would also be considered a lie but many do this. So, how does this effect my credibility, I would love to know

[5 Little Monkeys]

I understand what Suzie is saying. Being caught in a lie will obviously affect your credibility, even if with just that one family. However, it's never that easy! That family will tell others and in a business where word of mouth is so important, it can be damaging.

I live in a fairly small city so there are often times my interviewing families know each other or know families in my care already. I have to be careful if I'm going to tell a little white lie! Lol

[Emma H]

I personally don't think telling someone a spot isn't available will affect my credibility no matter the reason I give them. I just know I could never tell someone I liked them less, I feel that would be hurtful

[flowerchild]

I don't think you have to tell a family that you liked them less. You could just tell them that you found a family that was a better fit for the current children you have in care etc.

[5 Little Monkeys]

I personally don't think telling someone a spot isn't available will affect my credibility no matter the reason I give them. I just know I could never tell someone I liked them less, I feel that would be hurtful

It's all about how you say it. I think most would likely say that family B was chosen because they fit in better (age, hours etc) so that you don't have to come right out and say that you liked them better than family A.

It's hurtful for sure when we don't get picked but it's also life. Most parents understand this I think. I know what you mean though. I hate telling families they didn't get picked so I changed the way I interview. (I wrote it out in a diff thread just recently)

[Emma H]

I don't like telling families regardless, that's why I say the spot isn't open due to a move that isn't happening. Makes it easier on both ends.
I just want to mention, when you go for a job interview and the employer knows from the start that they are not interested they will say "we will give you a call" and never do, does this affect credibility too? That is a white lie as well, everyone in the work force does it so I am not sure what the big deal is here.

Everyone does things differently, this is what I say to families. The question asked for this thread is what to say I gave my answer to help not to have a conversation weather my choice was creditable to not.

[Emma H]

I don't think you have to tell a family that you liked them less. You could just tell them that you found a family that was a better fit for the current children you have in care etc.

That's exactly my point. If I don't like a family and I give them any other reason other than that then technically either way that's a white lie. So in the end why does it matter if I say it's not open due to a cancelled moved or if someone's schedule works better for me, in the end if I don't tell someone the HONEST truth it's a lie regardless.

Telling them I found a family that was a better fit when I really didn't like them is also a lie

[5 Little Monkeys]

Sorry, didn't mean to make you feel attacked! I'm just saying I can understand why lies, even little ones, have the potential to harm your business. I also have told white lies but I understand that it could bite me in the ass someday! Lol

Saying "I'll call you" usually implies you will call IF chosen. This is something that you could say at the end of the meeting as well...."thanks for taking the time to meet me and view my hdc. I will be in touch if your family is the best fit for the spot"....in fact, I might start saying that myself!! Lol

That is what I love about this site....it helps me grow as a business owner and shows me different ways and approaches to the business.

[Emma H]

No it's ok, I was confused because in the end its all boils down to the same thing regardless of what kind of excuse (and I understand tone gets lost in text!! lol). Unless you tell the family the exact reason, it is all considered a white lie. If a person is rude throughout the interview I won't tell them the reason for not choosing them is because they were rude, you know?
I understand lying can hurt creditability, but telling someone a spot isn't available due to cancelled move won't harm anyone in the end

[5 Little Monkeys]

Yes, as long as they don't know anyone in your daycare! Lol

I was actually going to use that excuse once but they knew a family currently in my care so the chance of them finding out I lied was too risky haha

[mickyc]

When I interview I usually have multiple families set up. I tell the family when interviewing that I will be meeting with all families and will pick the best fit. I tell the family to let me know by the next night if they are interested. No sense picking a family who doesn't want the spot. I then email the one I have chosen, offer them the spot and give them a short timeline to get me the paperwork and deposit. The ones I don't pick get a nice email thanking them for meeting me and saying that at this time the spot is taken but I will keep them on my waiting list should anything change. I usually say something nice about the child and family and wish them luck in their search.

I have also had situations where I have multiple interviews and none take the spot.

I actually have a meeting set up for tonight for my September spot. I have another wanting to meet as well. Both are same hours, one is an infant, one is older (so only one year needed), girl vs boy, one lives close/other is farther away. I have decided to just meet the family tonight and see if the want it and I like them. I am tired of multiple interviews lol

[ebhappydc]

Thanks everyone! You have given me great ideas and words to use so I feel confident if situation comes up now or in future. Bunches of thanks. Happy March :)

[MsBell]

I agree, we don't have to be brutally honest with families, even if they are not a good fit for us. That kind of insensitivity can be just as damaging to your reputation. And if it is just a matter of no space, it makes sense to not burn a bridge with another family. If I were the parent, and the provider told me another family was a better fit (even though it is honest), then called me two weeks later, because that better fit didnt work out, Im not sure I would be willing to proceed.
I also hate to interview lots of families for openings, sometimes it is really hard to choose.

[playfelt]

Once I have chosen the family that I want in care I simply contact the other families to let them know that the space is taken and I will let them no if a future space opens, thank them for their interest in my daycare and wish them well in their daycare search. I make it very clear to families when they come for an interview that first I don't fill a space on the spot as I expect parents to do due diligence, think about their decision, visit several homes, contact my references etc. - no one wants an impulsive family because they tend to leave on a whim too. They know that others have interviewed for the space and that in theory it is first come first served so would just tell them that a family that visited prior to them have contacted you for the spot.

If I have an interview with a family that later contacts me for the spot and I don't want them I am honest with them about why assuring them there is a home out there that will better fit their needs but that I need to feel confident about the families I take into care.

[ebhappydc]

Once I have chosen the family that I want in care I simply contact the other families to let them know that the space is taken and I will let them no if a future space opens, thank them for their interest in my daycare and wish them well in their daycare search. I make it very clear to families when they come for an interview that first I don't fill a space on the spot as I expect parents to do due diligence, think about their decision, visit several homes, contact my references etc. - no one wants an impulsive family because they tend to leave on a whim too. They know that others have interviewed for the space and that in theory it is first come first served so would just tell them that a family that visited prior to them have contacted you for the spot.

If I have an interview with a family that later contacts me for the spot and I don't want them I am honest with them about why assuring them there is a home out there that will better fit their needs but that I need to feel confident about the families I take into care.

Good idea to let them know of any future spots. They may have more children so something could work out down the road. You never in know! Tx