Who do you believe parent or child?

[Tania]

Hope everyone had a great Easter.
I have a little guy (5) who has had a really bad cough for over 2 weeks now, his mom says it's just allergies but I told her he needed to see a doctor before coming back today. She said she took him yesterday and the doctor said he's good and his cough is just allergies.
She asked if he could return today and because he saw the doctor and nothing was wrong with him I said yes, well today I asked him if he saw the doctor yesterday and he said "no I spent the day with my auntie"
Has anyone ever had a parent and child tell you 2 different story's, who do you believe?
I don't do doctors notes here so asking for one is out of the question.
I texted mom and asked her but her story is still the same, they went!!
Anyone ever had this happen?

[Gloucestermom]

Woah! I would believe the child since he has no reason to lie, while the mother does have one. If one of my kids had a cough for 2 weeks, I would definitely take them to the Dr to get checked out. That doesn't sound like allergies!
I would probably just let it go, but it would be hard to trust this mother in the future.

[Lee-Bee]

I donno I've heard kids say random things. This child may have been telling the truth he spent the day with his aunt. He could have spent all of an hour with her and think that was his whole day.

I had a 4yr old on Sunday tell me that at school someone "sometimes throws him out the window at recess, that the window is very high". When I mentioned jokingly to his mom that she ought to check into this school she sends her child too, that someone is throwing him out the window at recess she rolled her eyes and gave him that look. He is prone to just saying random things. It's not so much a lie as an over active imagination!

I'm not saying the mom is telling the truth...but I am saying you can't really ever take a child for his word. They aren't always reliable!

[Tania]

I agree, I'm sure by Friday all the kids will have "Allergies"
You are right just let it go.. Not worth fighting over.
This little guy isn't one to tell story's or make things up, he's very mature for his age. He also asked my daughter if she was feeling better, his mom said I had to close because my daughter was sick...
I'm also positive mom is not telling the truth but I will let it go this time.

[Crayola kiddies]

I've never really heard of allergies causing coughs .... Very strange ! Yup I'll bet the parent never took the child

[3rdtimesacharm]

At some point the child will realize his mother is feeding him lies. When he thought your daughter was "sick", when his mom said he went "to the doctors".... over time I bet this kid will catch on and it will only result in mistrust in the parent. Once a liar, always a liar. I'd be keeping my eye on this parent...

[Lee-Bee]

My cousin had a pretty severe allergy to dogs as an infant/child. Her parents were in denial for the longest time...it wasn't until she was about 2 that they got rid of their dogs. For those 2 yrs she had a brutal smokers cough. Once the dogs were gone, so was the cough. Some allergies do result in a cough...but I would suspect this is in fact a cold. If it is allergies it won't magically disappear, it would last a lot longer than a typical cold! That would be the true telltale sign I think.

[flowerchild]

That's awful. I would be prone to believe the child in this situation. He's five. It's not like he's two or three.

That said, I probably wouldn't say anything, but I definitely would be hesitant to trust that mom. Come to think of it, I might be inclined to casually say at pick up "Joey mentioned how much fun he had at his aunt's house yesterday" and see what she says or how she reacts.

[sandylynn]

I think I would just let this one go...I think she will think twice about lying to you again...she knows you are onto her!!! This kid is 5 years old!

[Spixie33]

I would believe the child when he said that he didn't go to the doctors but that doesn't mean that the mom never took him at all. Maybe she took him 2 weeks ago or prior and the doctor mentioned it was allergies at that time.

We have had a terrible cough go through the daycare this year that started in September and it seems one kid or another has it at any given time.

I went to the doctor for it three times, had xrays,antibiotics and finally puffers . The doctor said it was likely allergies and that I would just need puffers until it warms up. So...her claim of the cough being related to allergies could be entirely true. I have never had anything like this or had an allergy-related cough and I wouldn't have believed such a thing was possible until I heard it this year.

I have personally never chosen to exclude a child from daycare due to a cold/cough.

[5 Little Monkeys]

I would probably lean towards believing the child (he's 5 so he's likely not mixing things up too badly) but I would let it go. I would remember this though for future instances and would question a bit more next time.

As long as they are following my sick policy, I wouldn't worry too much about it.

[kindertime]

At some point the child will realize his mother is feeding him lies. When he thought your daughter was "sick", when his mom said he went "to the doctors".... over time I bet this kid will catch on and it will only result in mistrust in the parent. Once a liar, always a liar. I'd be keeping my eye on this parent...

I think I have to agree with this. If the parent is going to lie about going to the doctor for a cough, then she'll do it for something more serious. What will happen when there was a fever or throwing up through the night, maybe she'll send him anyway and not tell you.

You said you don't do sick notes, but dcb couldn't come back without seeing a doctor, so now you can't prove dcb saw a doctor. I require a note from a doctor for this reason. I wouldn't exclude for a cough if the child is fine otherwise.

And yes, allergies, also FYI, mold could be an issue. One of my dck's house had a mold issue a few years ago and he had a bad cough for awhile till the parents figured out what the issue was.

[Crayola kiddies]

I truly have never heard of a cough for allergies .... I guess I learned something new today

[JennJubie]

Yes, I also get a cough from allergies. My sinuses are so bad once allergy season kicks in full tilt that I always have that incredibly annoying unproductive cough.

[Van]

interesting, I too didn't know about the Allergy/cough at all and some coughs can last for weeks, I just remind all the children to cough into their arms

[daycarewhisperer]

I would require the Dr supply a list of the things the child is allergic to. You MUST know exactly what he is allergic to before he can return. You may unwittingly be exposing him daily to something he is highly allergic to. That is a liability I would not assume.

Saying the word allergy takes a split second. Having actual allergy testing and producing PROOF of allergies takes multiple appointments. Time to call her bluff.

[playfelt]

Allergies can be manifested as a cough. What is really going on is similar to a child with asthma and over time it may very well turn out that the child has asthma and that certain things trigger it such as pet dander - ie child isn't allergic to dogs in the true sense just reacts to them if that makes sense. When the child starts coughing they get their inhaler to open the airways and they do better. In the absence of any other symptoms of a cold (fever, runny nose, etc.) it is treated as asthma.

As to a doctor's note there is a cost for that in most cases and parents are not going to run to the doctor at each symptom of anything - they are going to do exactly what this parent did - send the child to a relative or take the day off to see if a cold actually develops. If it does they stay home, if child gets no worse they go to daycare. As to the lying - that is a result of setting the parent up to have no choice because they were doing a wait and see approach which is totally acceptable in this case but they need to tell you what you want to hear so child that just has a cough from 9 I would say probably asthma over allergies) can attend daycare.

[daycarewhisperer]

Allergies can be manifested as a cough. What is really going on is similar to a child with asthma and over time it may very well turn out that the child has asthma and that certain things trigger it such as pet dander - ie child isn't allergic to dogs in the true sense just reacts to them if that makes sense. When the child starts coughing they get their inhaler to open the airways and they do better. In the absence of any other symptoms of a cold (fever, runny nose, etc.) it is treated as asthma.

As to a doctor's note there is a cost for that in most cases and parents are not going to run to the doctor at each symptom of anything - they are going to do exactly what this parent did - send the child to a relative or take the day off to see if a cold actually develops. If it does they stay home, if child gets no worse they go to daycare. As to the lying - that is a result of setting the parent up to have no choice because they were doing a wait and see approach which is totally acceptable in this case but they need to tell you what you want to hear so child that just has a cough from 9 I would say probably asthma over allergies) can attend daycare.

The parent isn't set up to have no choice. They said the child has allergies not asthma. If the child has allergies the provider MUST know EXACTLY what the child is allergic to. The liability of having a child with allergies in your care and not having any documentation as to what the child is allergic to is through the roof. It's dangerous.

Allergies are much more rare than the public believes. It is the go to parental diagnosis to bring a sick kid to daycare. It's time for parents to do the work and pay the bills to test for allergies instead of self diagnosing and putting the provider and other kids at risk.

I have had SO many kids who had parents believe they had allergies and when tested had ZERO. By the time the testing was done they had successfully infected me and the kids. Now that testing can be done very young there is no reason to speculate. Get the testing done.