What to do?

[MsBell]

So last month I did some interviews for two spots I have that are opening up in September. I do not take a deposit to hold a spot (I know it prevents this, but I still dont), I simply tell the parents that I prefer their word, and that integrity means more to me than money. If situations change, then just be upfront with me, and we can go from there. So this family that wants one of my spots, a teachers child, she does not have a placement, so she does not know what days she will need, plus doesnt want to pay for Christmas, march break and summer (which is fine, I take Christmas off anyways, and plan to take March Break off too). I say to her, "Great, I will hold the spot for you, just keep me updated on your situation, I hope you find the position of your dreams" She has an older child that will be going to JK, I am not close enough to their school to take her on (besides I don't do B/A school)anyways, I see that this teacher has poated on Kijiji that she is looking for daycare for both her children. Clearly she is just holding a spot with me, in case she cant get something else, without sharing this with me. I find this unforgivable, and I now have no intention of taking this client on. It is just my intention to fill this spot, and then let her know that it just won't work out. HOWEVER there is a part of me that would really like to point out why this won't work for me, that clearly she has no consideration or respect for me. What would you do?

[3rdtimesacharm]

I would reply to her kijiji ad and state the obvious: "hi there, remember me, we had an interview last month and I am holding a spot for September for your little one. Well I would have appreciated an email or phone call letting me know that you have decided to look elsewhere. At any rate, I wish yuou luck in your search and I will continue my interviews for my September spot. Take care."

[Wonderwiper]

IMO, you give her no reason to tell you she's looking at other options. All you asked her to do was keep you updated. Since she hasn't yet finalized her plans, why does she need to tell you?

As a parent, I would keep looking for the care that best met the needs of my family.

I think that if you had required a deposit she wouldn't have confirmed a spot at all. She would come back to you after she had finished researching her options if she was still interested. She is clearly interested in something else that works for both children. You allow her to verbally confirm a spot until she finds something else. She has nothing to lose by doing so.

[MsBell]

I think that she should tell me just that, if she wants to continue to look that is fine, but not tell me that she wants that spot, but that she is interested only if she cant find something that better fits her needs.
I just feel like this is clearly someone that will say one thing and do another, and I am not interested in working with that, and I am not at all like that. I think she is being completely dishonest with me.
Also, what good would taking a deposit really do anyway? how much notice would she have to give me for me to return the deposit?

[bright sparks]

I think that she should tell me just that, if she wants to continue to look that is fine, but not tell me that she wants that spot, but that she is interested only if she cant find something that better fits her needs.
I just feel like this is clearly someone that will say one thing and do another, and I am not interested in working with that, and I am not at all like that. I think she is being completely dishonest with me.
Also, what good would taking a deposit really do anyway? how much notice would she have to give me for me to return the deposit?

Deposits are generally non-refundable, they must be applied to last two weeks of care.... at least in my daycare. A parent can not get their money back because they changed their mind or are being wishy washy. The financial commitment ensures that the commitment is a firm one that they are taking seriously. All shopping around is done prior to wasting time signing a contract and paying the deposit. A casual verbal agreement is something that someone can walk away from and leave you high and dry. By not requiring a firm agreement in the form of a contract and deposit, you leave yourself open to these kinds of things happening unfortunately.

[Busy ECE mommy]

I only reserve a spot if a 2 week deposit is paid, and a contract fully signed. I would never rely on someone's word to hold a spot.

[mickyc]

I totally agree with others. She wants her spot she truly does so she isn't lying but if something better comes along that fits her needs she will book that spot instead- leaving you high and dry. She will inform you but she won't until she has actually confirmed something somewhere else.

This is why you need to take a deposit to hold the spot. Money talks and if she was required to give you money she would have been more serious about it. You are setting yourself up for more families to do this to you. Those of us who take deposits still run into this issue but it doesn't put us out a bunch of money if the give a deposit. That deposit buys us time to find another family.

[Lou]

I would simply respond:
Dear ______,
After seeing your ad that you are shopping for a different provider, I'm afraid in the best interest of my business and family that I will no longer be holding your space for you. Good luck with your search, I hope you find someone who suits better your needs.
Take care,
______

[Lou]

Thinking back though, did she actually say that she wanted you to hold the spot for her? Or did you just offer to hold it?

[5 Little Monkeys]

I like Lou's response. It tells her that you know she is shopping around (which I do think she has the right to do) but it protects you as well. Unless you are very flexible and can hold the spot until the parent makes up their mind, I wouldn't offer to do this situation again as it's too loose-y goosey.

[kindertime]

I think you should definately contact this parent. If you didn't put any commitment in writing, then she won't understand why you are upset and thinking of filling that spot without her. In a verbal agreement, there is so much room for interpretation and "mis-remembering." I think the others are right, she probably feels she has no obligation to you and is looking for something better for her. If you value the 'upfront' approach from parents, you should contact her, tell her you saw the ad and ask her what she is planning to do. You were holding the space and was expecting her to come but you didn't know the days/hours she needed not whether or not she was coming at all.

[MsBell]

I really appreciate everyones input on this, at first I just found it annoying, but as I have thought about it more, I have to agree that I simply have to start taking a deposit in order to hold a spot.
To elaborate some more on the agreement, we had our interview, and I explained that I do not ask for a deposit to secure the spot, but that once we have a verbal agreement, I would stop interviewning other parents and the spot would be theirs,and because she didn't have a position yet, I would hold it as a full time spot, and if she ends up only needing a few days a few, or different days (as a supply teacher) then that would be okay. She emailed me back and said that they would really like to have their child come to my care in the fall, and that as soon as she knew what her schedule would be, she would let me know. I responded, that I excepted her child, I would hold the spot, and to keep in touch and good luck with her search for a local teaching position.
Perhaps I am assuming too much here, but I honestly feel like she has been dishonest with me. If she wanted to shop around some more, she should have just said that they want to see if they can find someone that can take both kids, but if the spot is there in the fall for her younger child she would be interested in it.
I am going into my 10th year in daycare, never had an issue with this. I feel like if they are not good on their word, I'm not really interested in working with them anyway. However I agree, that this business is a business, and I guess in the end, money is the bottom line!

[Suzie_Homemaker]

I take deposit - I would love to go on people's word but sadly, not all people are trustworthy so it doesn't really work unless people have same standards as me. This is why we need deposit and contract.

I agree that you only asked to be kept updated and you offered to hold place. You did not expect any commitment in return and so you got no commitment in return.

Yes might be tempting to answer her ad and tell her you are holding a place but you didn't actually ask for a firm decision from her. I agree she is likely trying to keep options open and you are plan B but you permitted that.

[sandylynn]

I always take a deposit...it is totally non-refundable and I CLEARLY tell the parents that....I also CLEARLY tell them that the deposit DOES NOT go towards ANY daycare at all....it is simply to hold the spot (usually a few months) and NOT give the spot away to anyone else that calls or enquires for a spot. In this case I would carry on filling the spot...and when she calls and tells you of her new plans, honestly...I could not refuse the opportunity to say "Oh yes...I knew that...I saw your ad on kijiji a long time ago....so I filled the spot "a long time ago"....lol

[kindertime]

We are not allowed to take a deposit. And by that I mean, it's illegal. No money can be paid to a DCP until the first day the child comes. This has happened a few times to me...if you have a contract starting on, say Monday, and the child is sick or just doesn't come for a day or a few days, you miss out on the pay for those days. Completely, no kidding, no recourse. If the parent decides on the morning the contract is to start that they don't want daycare anymore (and this has happened to me too) they owe nothing. So, I don't try to fill spots months in advance because I always end up losing out. Because this is a very regulated system here, this kind of thing is a problem for a lot of people and the government is even trying to fix it but there are two laws in conflict and two different departments that have to get together... blahhh!

I think I envy the rest of you who can have some compensation for people who want to hold a spot and totally flake...

[babydom]

Wow that's crazy! It's actually a law? What area are you guys in???

[kindertime]

We have to follow the Educational Childcare Act for the rules around the daycare but we also have to follow the Consumer Protection Act which covers all contracts between a consumer (parent) and a business (me.) It would also cover me if I had a contract with a business and I was the consumer. I don't know if the other provinces have consumer protection laws too.

The Ministry that deals with the daycare system, (Minister of Families) understands this is a problem for us, specifically, but they can't just change the Educational Childcare Act without also changing the Consumer Protection Act too, and they aren't in charge of that law. Just government bureaucracy with us caught in the middle.

We are also very limited in what we can charge for an early cancelation penalty. It's 10% of the amount remaining in the contract (contracts must have an end date) or $50, whichever is less.

[Van]

Wow! so different in Quebec I did not know
Thank you Kindertime