Driveway Safety

[ebhappydc]

Hey guys... As some of my dcp don't keep up with the News, I've warned them about driving in and out of my driveway when other parents are there trying to get reluctant kids into their car in light of the recent tragedy of the 5 yr old backed-over by their mother. She was trying to make room for child to play on driveway.

I find driveways can be so hectic with the parent chasing one child and the other is playing with the automatic doors, horn etc. It only takes a split second for something to go really wrong and toddlers are so short they're hard to spot when backing up. I've got my own new teenage drivers added to the chaos sometimes, so I'm a wreck! I feel soooo terrible for that mom and her family I've heard of these tragedies happening a few times before. it's best to put your kid in the car while trying to move it.

[5 Little Monkeys]

I haven't heard of this incident but wow, so sad!! :( is the child okay?

In my contract, I specify that only one vehicle (plus mine) can be in the front and if it's full, they must park in our backlane spots (we live on a provincial road so no parking on the street is allowed). I put this in place just so that a parent wasn't holding up another in case they had somewhere to be...never even thought of the safety aspect if it but it's a valid concern!!

Thankfully, from what I've seen, parents with multiple children put them in the vehicle at same time and than buckle them in. This is how I do it as well on field trips. It just seems silly to me to have children out of the vehicle when your inside it buckling up others. When I unload, I unbuckle them all first and than get them out. If I do have children out of the vehicle waiting, they MUST place one hand on the car and they can not let go! There's always the potential for an accident but hopefully this decreases that chance a little bit!

[babydom]

No :( He was killed :(. :( :(

This is what I see a caregiver 5 doors down do ALL THE TIME!!!! Tell the kids to stay by the garage while she moves her car down the street. Imagine if one didn't listen and ran behind? Or she throws the kids in the car (no car seats) and backs out. Imagine someone came zooming down the street and hit the back of her car? They'd all b gone. She'd b sued and done! I think about these what ifs every time I c that. It makes my heart sink. :( :( why would u even risk that? When u can just hop out in the am before they come and move the car!

[ebhappydc]

Even the best of kids don't always listen to safety stuff cuz they don't realize the consequence; they see the world differently. Beyond sad.

[5 Little Monkeys]

:( so sad!

Side note...why does the provider need to move her car?

[babydom]

Is a skinny two car lane way. Her car is up near the garage therefor no rm for ride on cars or,to bring out the water table. She moves the car and then they can play on driveway

[Suzie_Homemaker]

This very frightening.

I live up lane in old Fisherman cottage so we have lot of parking space but when my sons learning to drive was frightened they hit my car because new driver with little experience.

I not allow children to go to parent when parent come if we outside. Adult must come into play area for child and then they responsible for safe escort to own car. I would not allow children to play where parent pull in.

[ebhappydc]

Oh I've got all my dcks in a fenced area that the parents pick up from. Near closing time when they retrieve their child and have siblings along all heck breaks loose sometimes with parent chasing child around my driveway to get dcc into car and other cars showing up at same time to get their children. I just watch from afar with remaining children shaking my head and hoping for the best.

NEED ADVICE PLEASE: I don't want to start another thread - my teenage son who generally is fairly responsible skidded into our driveway during quiet time while I was posting this thread. Left quite a squeal mark and I heard it from in the house. I was LIVID with him and I told him he can't have the car for a week. He needs it to go to his job but I said he can pay for taxi. He says I'm totally over reacting. What do you think? It's first time he's done this and helps me around the house daily but to me driving is a privilege. He said sorry which I accepted but still no keys. He thinks not cool. I think stupid teenage impulses. I'm disappointed in him.

[Suzie_Homemaker]

We just have one car so when our sons living at home, we had some conditions of use for them.

1. They paid for additional cost of insurance. They getting to drive our asset of many thousand dollars so they contributed to cost of them having privilege.

2. Our car service schedule was small service, medium service, small service, big service. Our sons pay for small service to contribute to wear and tear cost.

3. My husband and I have priority of car use. I not intending to book my own car when I needed it.

4. Privileges are earned based on trust. If we saw sons speeding, driving without sensible, then privilege GONE. Buy own car, and trash that but not ours. No second chance. Very lucky to be able to use vehicle they not worked to buy so be respectful of that.

5. I always say to my sons, "Sorry not shown in words but in actions. Show me you really sorry but not repeating."

I would not be concerned your son not think you cool. I would tell him that I not think he's cool disrespecting my drive and my car. I not here to be cool, I here to protect my investment since it clear he not going to.

Boys - so much easier when could ground. Not so easy when they men with children's brains. I found teenager years and early 20's very hard. Moment of incredible proudness of men they becoming but moment of shaking head that someone so big can not have proportional brain.

[Lee-Bee]

Maybe I am just mean and no fun but my 26month old is not allowed to sit in the front of the car, play with the doors, play with the buttons on the door, open the window or anything related to the car. When I have more than one child in the car they all get unbuckled and they all go out the same door (when I open it). The other day my husband went to teach our daughter to open the door from the outside. I quickly made it clear it was not acceptable. It didn't see why...so I pointed out he was responsible for the costs of her opening the door in a parking lot and smacking the car next to us because she has no concept of space. He quickly decided it is best to not let her open the door lol. I don't care to let a 2yr old know they can open the door (from inside or out) when they want to...for then I cannot control what they step into on the outside or prevent them from going in the car when it's hot and over heating when she can't get back out. ok...maybe I am overly paranoid but cars are just not meant to be played with in my opinion!!!!!

It drives me bonkers when my 2.5 yr old DCG gets picked up and every. single. day. they let her in the front seat (of the car they leave running) to push buttons, steer, leap over the front seat, run around back before they try and convince her to get in her seat. Cars are NOT a toy, they should not be treated like one and should not be viewed as one. It is just too much of a risk.

I still remember in grade 5 a classmate got dropped off on the street in front of the school and his dad ran into him. It was only a bump and he was fine but this was a 10yr old that just jumped in front of the car and the dad mistakenly thought the son would wait until he drove off. If a 10yr old can mindlessly do such a thing then we can NEVER expect a 2-5 year old not to. They are fast, unpredictable and just plain random.

Not sure what to suggest, aside from making some clear 'rules' as to what you expect from the parents while using your driveway.

[Van]

Very Sad for the poor family of the child that died in their driveway , it is a good reminder for us all to see what works and what doesn't in our driveways at pick-up times and remind parents by posting a note on our notice boards saying- Just a Reminder to Look at for children in the driveway at all times

[Van]

NEED ADVICE PLEASE: I don't want to start another thread - my teenage son who generally is fairly responsible skidded into our driveway during quiet time while I was posting this thread. Left quite a squeal mark and I heard it from in the house. I was LIVID with him and I told him he can't have the car for a week. He needs it to go to his job but I said he can pay for taxi. He says I'm totally over reacting. What do you think? It's first time he's done this and helps me around the house daily but to me driving is a privilege. He said sorry which I accepted but still no keys. He thinks not cool. I think stupid teenage impulses. I'm disappointed in him.

You could make it a lesson in trust- you trust he has learned this important lesson and trust that he will drive safely anywhere near the driveway and on the roads, and if it happens again you will carry out this threat and let him get a taxi to work -Now he knows no mistakes near the driveway and always be on the lookout for little children hiding or running on or near the driveway-it is a good time to teach this important lesson to him

[bright sparks]

I think it is really important that you follow through on what you dealt him as his consequences. Don't have him make you second guess your choice. It just send the message to him that you can be easily manipulated if you back down on your word and should you, then there is little incentive to not make choices like this in the future because you didn't hold up your word. What was the point in saying x, y and z if you aren't going to follow through. That sends your son the wrong message in my opinion. Being a parent is not about being cool. He isn't going to like the consequences, but they are important in order for him to learn his lesson.

[playfelt]

Personally I think maybe the punishment was a tad severe since you expect him to pay for it himself. IF he can bus to work that is going to be $5 a day if you expect him to taxi to work he might as well quit his job as there and back will cost as much as he makes meaning he can't meet his other obligations. I get the severity of the issue but since it was the first time and he is a responsible teen then assume it will be the last time. Compromise and say he must park on the street if arriving while there is a parent in the driveway and then go out and move the car into the driveway later when it is safe.

I think it is ok to go to him to discuss the issue. Admit that you may have over reacted due to fear and the severity of the situation. Show him the article about the child that died and explain the consequences of poor judgement. Come to some sort of agreement along with a promise of never doing it again. Car for back and forth to work only but no car for pleasure for the time frame or something if you must punish. Teens make mistakes but in the grand scheme of things will taking a taxi for a week really teach him to not do it next time or was it a knee jerk reaction by you that to some extent blew the action out of proportion. Also given the time your son came into the driveway he had reason to believe (nap time) that there would not be a chid there.

[Lee-Bee]

There is often more to learn from explaining to a child/teenager that you over reacted and that you need to revisit what you said and make your response more appropriate for the situation. As playfelt said, show him the article, explain your reaction and adjust the punishment to better fit the situation. Paying for a taxi for a week is a bit severe. Set the boundaries now...if he does it again then paying for a taxi for a week (or year) is perfectly legit because you made it clear ahead of time.

[ebhappydc]

Yeah, i did have a knee jerk reaction for sure, and i apologized to him for yelling at him. (I don't yell at the dcks...just my own teenagers). He is biking a long way to work, but i'm gonna stick to it for the week.

It's all good because we were at the mall yesterday (I drove) shopping for our own things and he wanted to go home sooner than I did... well, with all the mall chaos, I temporarily forgot about him not driving, so I extended the keys out to him and said'you go ahead, I can walk home in this nice weather" (25 min walk)...he said " Yo, Mom, i'm like totally suspended 'til Friday remember?!" and he smiled at me as he turned to walk home.

I love that kid/man!! Thanks EVERYONE!! :)

[bright sparks]

Yeah, i did have a knee jerk reaction for sure, and i apologized to him for yelling at him. (I don't yell at the dcks...just my own teenagers). He is biking a long way to work, but i'm gonna stick to it for the week.

It's all good because we were at the mall yesterday (I drove) shopping for our own things and he wanted to go home sooner than I did... well, with all the mall chaos, I temporarily forgot about him not driving, so I extended the keys out to him and said'you go ahead, I can walk home in this nice weather" (25 min walk)...he said " Yo, Mom, i'm like totally suspended 'til Friday remember?!" and he smiled at me as he turned to walk home.

I love that kid/man!! Thanks EVERYONE!! :)

Good for you sticking to your original consequences even if it is hard to push back the mothers guilt in hindsight of acting rashly. Sounds like you have a good kid and I think the apology and acknowledgement about the shouting at him is enough. Long bike ride...saves him some gas money right :)