What would you do..?

[Other Mummy]

Was hoping to get others opinion on this....I already know what I'm doing, just curious as to others might handled it.

I've got a 2 yr old dcb in care for the last 6 months. He is a handful to say at the least. He is also very big for 2. He could pass for 4 years old easily. He does not care or understand personal boundaries. Will climb and sit on other children, will not listen, thinks its hilarious to run away from the group when we are at the park, is aggressive (but sweet natured, just does not understand that he cannot whack a friend to get a reaction, etc.). I've contemplated terminating care, but we were making slow (very slow) progress. The other children groan when he arrives at daycare.

His mom announced her pregnancy a few months ago. She is due in December. I'm trying to plan for next year's enrolment. I asked her if she is planning to keep dcb enrolled or pull him for her mat. leave. She insisted that her and dcd will keep him as he needs the socialization (very true). Last week she told me that her and dcd spoke and she is pulling him for her mat. leave. But in Oct or Nov. Not in December when she is due. Okay whatever. So in interviewing for my Sept. spot (I have a 4 yr old dcg leaving for school) I found 2 clients. 1 for Sept.(they signed on) and 1 needs a spot for October. I'm meeting the October family tonight. They are very interested as we had a mini interview on the phone prior.

I'm thinking to term my current dcb at the beginning of October. I will give them 3 weeks notice to find alternate care for the few weeks they will need. This way I have my spots filled with no lapse in weeks. I've gone months in the past trying to find clients and income reduced/stressed, etc. This time the daycare Gods have smiled on me. Part of me feels a little bad terming them, but I have to do what I need to do to pay bills and support my family. If I leave this family in care, I will have to search in October/November to fill that spot. It could take weeks/months. And he is my 'problem' child. You know the kind you dread when they pull up in the driveway.

What would some of you do?

[Suzie_Homemaker]

I would term him early too to fit your new family. Since Mom intended pulling for her mat leave before baby was born anyway, it isn't a case that she was hoping to get new baby in a routine before leaving your care.
You have to do what suits your business first so even if this child was dream to watch, it seems like letting him go on your schedule would be best.
They were planning to leave Oct-Nov anyway and you can't plan a replacement with such a big time frame. It only reasonable that you plan for him leave earliest and protect your income.

[Fun&care]

I think that if she told you October then it is perfectly fair for you to fill the spot. It can be hard to come by opportunities to fill a spot so if this family seems like a good fit at interview then definitely go for it. No sense risking have a spot open for weeks or months.

[babydom]

I would also term early and fill for October with new family

[mickyc]

For me personally I always accomodate the families I have in care before any potential new families. So in your case I would ask mom for a set date in writing. Tell her you are starting to advertise, need to know an exact date as you have families interested. Once you know their end date I would start advertising for that date, tell any potential families that is the start date. I would never term just because something better came along sooner. That is just me. No family is a guarantee and no child is a guarantee to be a wonderful child. New family could potentially pull out last minute, not work out etc and you could be left trying to fill spot anyways.

[bright sparks]

I don't think this is a case of termination. I think it is just a matter of having a conversation about a mutually agreeable date and taking the lead based on what your new family needs. While nothing is a guarantee, what is a guarantee is that this family will pull this child...she has already told you as much. She has given you a vague time line so now the ball is in your court to agree on a firm date. It doesn't have to be a termination, simply state that you have a family looking for care on XX of October and that needs to be the finish date for her son. She likely wont have an issue with it, and I don't agree that this is you terming them for another family. This is you taking her directive of finishing Oct/Nov and firming up a date that works for you as a business woman.

[Lee-Bee]

I think I would just caution you to try and set a firm end date sooner than later. There is a chance they will change their mind (a few times) if they just assume their space is there space until they decide to officially leave (they technically have already changed their mind once). So right now they plan to pull him in the fall...but maybe in a couple weeks they decide to keep him in until new baby is a couple months old. Then baby is born and they decide to pull him right away. I would caution filling their space for October now but waiting until 3 weeks before to tell them.

[Van]

I would talk to the preg. Mom about the new family and let them know that Oct. suits them better and I was wondering if their date of leaving would help the new family for Oct....and if they can't the new family may have to ask family members to help them out for a month, that way it is a win/win for the two families- I love your expression "Daycare Gods" it seems so true:)

[Gloucestermom]

I would do what you're planning on doing.

[Snowmom]

Do what's right for YOU and your family.
Yes, we want to be "nice" and accommodating. But where does nice get you when you let them call the shots and you're left struggling to fill the spots later on?

All the power to the people who can afford to be nice. I just prefer looking out for my business, my finances, and my family's well being.... because nobody else will.

[torontokids]

I have had this situation come up before and I just handled it by talking to the leaving family or in one case "suspected leaving" family. Both times it worked out well and they accommodated me. They also want to keep in good graces with me if they want me to take their next child.

I personally would tell them that I have a family for October that wants the spot and see what they would say. I wouldn't have a hard time telling them that their end date will be end of September if it was when they said they were going to go anyways. If they needed until Oct 15th I would see if the other family could accommodate this (I find most do if they really want the spot). If they can't then I let the first family know that unfortunately this other family is taking the spot Oct 1st and you are telling them now so they can make alternative plans.

[mickyc]

Do what's right for YOU and your family.
Yes, we want to be "nice" and accommodating. But where does nice get you when you let them call the shots and you're left struggling to fill the spots later on?

All the power to the people who can afford to be nice. I just prefer looking out for my business, my finances, and my family's well being.... because nobody else will.

I think you are referring to my post. I cannot afford to be nice but in this business a good reputation goes a long way especially in a smaller community. I for one would never advertise unless I had a set date from mom on when they are leaving. I have never had to go through this as I only interview for open spots not potential spots. I am busy and don't waste time meeting with parents unnecessarily. I treat people as I would like to be treated. I would never get rid of a family just because someone better came along. I would get a date from mom and then interview for that start date. I know a lot of families don't give their providers the same curtesy but that is just how I am as a person.

[Snowmom]

I think you are referring to my post. I cannot afford to be nice but in this business a good reputation goes a long way especially in a smaller community. I for one would never advertise unless I had a set date from mom on when they are leaving. I have never had to go through this as I only interview for open spots not potential spots. I am busy and don't waste time meeting with parents unnecessarily. I treat people as I would like to be treated. I would never get rid of a family just because someone better came along. I would get a date from mom and then interview for that start date. I know a lot of families don't give their providers the same curtesy but that is just how I am as a person.

I'm not specifically referring to anyone.
If it works for you, that's great.
I certainly don't mean to come across harsh, but I personally just feel that no parents are going to look out for your best interest as a provider/business. Providers in general are the "nice" people. We want to be accommodating. We want to make everyone happy.
In my opinion, you need to do what's best for YOU.
If waiting for the parents to decide when their departure time will be is not going to impact you financially, and it's something you want to do, then all power to you.
If it WILL impact you financially to have an empty space while waiting to find someone else (when you potentially could have had ZERO lead time between filling spaces) then why would that make sense to do?
Just because it benefits the family that's leaving?

I understand being courteous. I'm not suggesting wording a termination in a rude or disrespectful way. I'm am suggesting that if opportunity arises to fill a space with someone you feel is the right fit...fill it.

If a parent is going to bad mouth a provider for looking out for his/her best interest, then I think that says more about the parent than the provider.

[mickyc]

Sorry still disagree. It's kinda like a get them before they get me attitude IMO. I would never do it, I don't like it when others do it to me. Like I said though I would never advertise a spot until I had a definite end date, but that is just me.

[Other Mummy]

this is it though. They won't give me an exact end date but 'sometime in October or November' So I'm going to give them an end date of end of September. My letter will be to the point and more of an 'ending of contract of care' rather then "Termination". Thanks for all your posts. In the end, I have to look out for myself and my own family. I've been burned to many times and left weeks/months trying to fill a spot. When the Daycare Gods give you a break, you don't throw it to the wind LOL

[Suzie_Homemaker]

You can't run a business with loose information. All businesses need operate at max capacity when possible.

I think if this were dream client, maybe I'd tackle differently but where on-going issue with behaviour of child, I would be looking for replacement anyway in order to term. If child not listening and getting hands-on with other children, it might affect other clients confidence in the well being of own children.

Since this person has indicated leaving, since they already changed the date once, since they can't give firm leaving date, since child is difficult, since they are planning on leaving before new baby born, I not view it as getting them before they get you.

Interview this new client, see if they good fit which they might not be, cause if not, this is all mute anyway. If you like new family, see if there any flexibility in their starting date. Then sit down face-to-face with current client, explain that there is replacement family needing care in October and since they have said this fit in their requirement notice time frame, that you intend offering the place to them effective 1st Oct. so that is the end date they need to work towards.

[Other Mummy]

The family loved my program and we're a great fit. They are dropping off signed paper work later today. My current dcf will be getting notice 3 weeks (I have 2 weeks in my contract, so I'm giving them an extra week to find alternate care). They will be getting notice 3 weeks prior to new family starting. thanks everyone.

[Lee-Bee]

All niceness and such aside both parties signed a contract and the contract should have in it the amount of time each party needs to give in order to end the contract and end care.

As long as you give that much time you are fine. You did not sign a contract saying you would do care forever, would do care until they ended care...you just said you would provide 2 weeks notice when you need to end care.

After that, each provider and each family will all have their own personal opinion on whether or not it is fair to end care with one family to start with another family in your best interest. But really, as with anything in life everyone will have a different opinion and at the end of the day both parties just need to go by the contract terms.

[Other Mummy]

Well said Lee-Bee.