New kid just not working out

[mb_inzunza]

Hi! I am new to this forum. I recently open my daycare and my first client is not working so far. He is almost a 4 year old kid that hits, throws toys, and does not listen unless is something that he wants to do. Today we had to come back inside after being outside for only 10 minutes because he started acting up again when he didn't get his way. I have been trying for almost 2 weeks now and I am exhausted. I feel like I am walking on egg shells trying not to making upset otherwise he starts hitting my other daycare kids and also he has tried to hit me too. I know the answer, I know what I should do, I guess I am just trying to get some moral support and some advice on how to tell the parents that this is just not working out for me. I really don't want to give up on him but I this is getting out of control. Sorry about the poor grammar but I'm just exhausted!!!

[mickyc]

Yep you know what to do. A child hitting me is where I draw the line and it would be immediate termination.

[babydom]

Agree. Just say to mom, I apologize but XXX is not fitng in well here. He tends to act out and doesn't listen and hits me and the others kids. Ive tried to make it work but unfortunately I will be letting him go as it is not working.
And don't feel bad or guilty. As much as we like to help all the kids, we just can't. Fill his spot with a child that will respect and love you as you deserve. You don't need that stress.
Good luck!

[Suzie_Homemaker]

I agree. It good you recognise it not working out. I would draw line at child hitting out at me too. If you are wary about specifics just tell the parent that it not a good fit with other personalities and so it time to go.

[mb_inzunza]

Thanks Everyone for your advice. I am talking to his mom today. I feel so bad for letting him go but waking up everyday feeling a knot in my stomach is not right...I want to enjoy what I do.

[Gloucestermom]

Don't feel bad. You're doing the right thing for sure. Let us know how it goes.

[Other Mummy]

It's never easy terminating a family. But I promise, once you do, it will be like the skies opened up and the rainbows came out. You will have a new spring in your step and will actually not dread your days. Do it ASAP and get it over with. Let us know how it goes.

[Van]

yeah, we all had to terminate a family and it gets easier as time goes on :)

[Lee-Bee]

I completely believe that being hungry affects behavior and even the types of food fed...BUT this child is 4yrs old. He is walking around smacking people. That is poor behavior and the parent is making up excuses. Parents that jump to blaming everything else (including chocolate chip pancakes) are typically the parents that never address the situation and just shrug it off. I'd be more likely to term this child due to the parents response to your addressing concerns about his behavior. Had the parent been open and willing to help address the behavior I'd be tempted to keep him on and work with them to get him sorted out.

[flowerchild]

I completely believe that being hungry affects behavior and even the types of food fed...BUT this child is 4yrs old. He is walking around smacking people. That is poor behavior and the parent is making up excuses. Parents that jump to blaming everything else (including chocolate chip pancakes) are typically the parents that never address the situation and just shrug it off. I'd be more likely to term this child due to the parents response to your addressing concerns about his behavior. Had the parent been open and willing to help address the behavior I'd be tempted to keep him on and work with them to get him sorted out.

Exactly this.

Buh-bye!

Side note: one of my biggest pet peeves is when parent's response to anything is "oh well, he's three/two/four/etc". Yes, the issue or behaviour may be typical of that age, but that does NOT mean that you don't have to address the behaviour!

[mb_inzunza]

It's been 2 months since I posted this. I decided to give the child some time to adjust but last Monday unfortunately I had to give his mom the bad news that it was just not working out anymore. He was doing ok, no more hitting but I had to be with him all the time watching him and making sure that there were nothing or no one that would trigger the aggressive behaviour. Anyway last week the whole thing started againg...and last Monday he punched a younger child in the eye..the poor kid got a black eye. Right there I texted the mom and said sorry but I can not provide care for "x" anymore. She was not happy, which I do understand. The termination has been stressful but soooo worth IT!! Now I get up every morning looking forward to do crafts, activities,games etc. We were able to make banana muffins finally! Now the other children get the attention they need and deserve! Again I am enjoying what I do!! :)