1st time Pregnancy....ahhh!!! ;)

[5 Little Monkeys]

This might be a long post...I apologize in advance!! lol

So about a month ago I went to the doctor's with some symptoms. I seriously just thought it was my B12 low again and I needed another shot. Nope!! Turns out I am pregnant...roughly 2 months right now. I am freaking out a little bit and need to type this all out in hopes that it will take some stress of me and I can start sleeping...haha ya right hey?

We've told our immediate family and a couple close friends but that is it. I am quite concerned with miscarrying and won't be telling others until the 3 month mark. We tried for 2.5 years but about 6 months ago I kinda just gave up on the idea. I would go back and forth between wanting kids and wanting to be childfree...guess I don't have that option anymore lol.

So the point of my post.....I have a ton of questions!! Some daycare related and some just pregnancy related. I'd appreciate any and all advice :)

1. When is a good time to tell the parents? (I'm fat so I'm thinking I can hide it for awhile lol. We weren't necessarily planning on this so I don't want them to leave early)

2. How long did you take off after having the baby? Was it too short, too long? Also, did you have a firm end date in mind and how far in advance was it of your due date?

3. I qualify for EI but I don't think it will be very much. How does it all work?

4. I take tramacet for back pain and suffer a lot of pain from my arthritis. I am currently weaning off it and going to be taking T3's now. I also take sleeping pills which I am now not. Has anyone else dealt with pain before pregnancy...how did you cope once pregnant? The last couple weeks has SUCKED as my body was going through withdrawal and I am a little (okay a lot) anxious thinking about the the pain to come as the pregnancy goes on

5. What foods and meds are definite NO NO's when pregnant? (obviously have spoke to my dr about this but still curious. I've been reading a lot lately and something my doctor didn't mention and I hadn't heard of for example was that feta cheese was a no no and it's one of my fav's)

I'm tentatively due Feb 7th so I was thinking of taking off until at least September. My intention was to close summers starting 2016. I was thinking I could still do this and just play each summer by ear. If I couldn't afford it that year, I'd take on summer only kids but still sign on my ft clients from Sept to June.

ALSO (just as a side note and because I am so excited), my best friend is pregnant and due Feb 3rd!!! I think I'm more excited for her than I am for me lol. She will be taking a year off and I kinda think once we start our mat leave, I won't want to go back early lol. We are very much alike so I am super glad that we are doing this together as we have very similar fears haha.

Any other suggestions/advice/tips are more than welcome!!

[Other Mummy]

CONGRATULATIONS 5LM!!!!!

I'm so happy for you!! :thumbsup:

1) I would tell my clients around the 5th month mark. summer is here, so by the time Fall comes you'll be showing more, but also wearing looser clothes (sweatshirts) so no need to tell them any sooner.

2) I took a year off with each of my children, but I was also working in the marketing field and not working for myself. If I took mat. leave today, I would probably take 2 months.

3) If you are paying into EI than you can apply for it. Otherwise, I don't think we qualify as ICP's. I would set aside some money every week and budget for the time that you will be closed.

4). The first trimester I was always exhausted. Seeing as you have a back pain history I would definitely be talking to my OB about what is safe to take whilst pregnant. Perhaps, massages, or chiro treatments?

5) I remember not being able to eat soft unpasturized cheeses (feta included) Other than that....I don't think I stayed away from anything (except alcohol of course and too much coffee)

Enjoy the wonderful changes of pregnancy. Some of miraculous and some not so much LOL.

Congratulations again. Keep us posted on how you are doing. So exciting!!!

[torontokids]

First off...Breathe!

Congrats! I am so happy for you. I am due at the end of Feb so we can gripe together!

I also have issues with pain. I have rheumatoid arthritis and I am on a lot of heavy duty meds. My pregnancies shave all been planned as they needed to be because I can't actually conceive on one of my medications. With my first pregnancy, I went off the hardest meds while we prepared to conceive. I was in desperate pain and I was eventually referred to a specialist who specializes in auto immune diseases and pregnancy. I didn't know such people existed but he literally enabled me to have kids but he made the process enjoyable for me. He put me on better meds that were also safe for a fetus. Not sure what kind of arthritis you have but with auto immune diseases your symptoms often go into remission during pregnancy so I actually LOVE being pregnant for that reason, heh heh.

As for time off from daycare. My plan at the moment is to close for the year. I am not sure I will reopen however I have never felt comfortable with my kids in daycare so unless we win the lottery I will probably reopen. I know a lot of women on here will close for 6 wks and have their husbands take Pat leave to help with the baby and the daycare. I want to enjoy the time off with my baby and my 3 y.o.

Re: food to stay away from: unpasteurized cheese and milk, cold cuts, hot dogs, raw eggs. Basically the things that put you at greater risk of listeria. Usually the first baby you may restrict everything. By your second or third you tend to lighten up and realize that women in France get pregnant and continue to eat Brie so it is probably fine.

[torontokids]

I am currently figuring out when to tell my DCP. I am for sure waiting until September but may wait longer. I don't want people to feel deceived but I also don't want them to leave!

I am very tall so the baby weight spreads out on me at least, heh heh

[5 Little Monkeys]

Thanks :) I think I am still processing the fact that I'm even pregnant lol. I wondered if we were close TOkids! I've had troubles sleeping for almost 12 years and it's been a good 6-8 years since I've slept for longer than 3-4 hours at a time but I am EXHAUSTED!!! I'm not a fan of all day free play but that's what we've been doing for longer than I want to admit :( Thank goodness I have great dck's who enjoy it and are enjoying the movie every morning while we lay down and cuddle lol. I have almost all day nausea but have only thrown up once thank goodness. Cramps after I eat and especially in the evenings are driving me crazy. I just want the 2nd trimester to get here and hopefully feel better! How have you been feeling TOkids??

For EI, I've paid into it for about 2 years but I'm worried it will be pointless now. It sounds like they pay based on your total after deductions right? I was able to get mine down really low this year (like either 7 or 9 grand so it will be peanuts) but I'll still take it lol. My husband is off summers already so I'm not sure if he will take any extra time off. Spring Break will be a month and a bit after I'm due I think so that will be nice. He works evenings so at least I can nap during the day if needed. (that's already started lol) I've been trying to set aside money for summers off myself but that will now go towards my mat leave. We can most likely do a year off for me on just my husband's wage but it will be tight. We have very limited debt and monthly expenses but there won't be any extras for awhile!! We are wanting to move to a bigger home but that will wait until I'm back to work FT.

TOkids, I remember you saying something about how your body will not get pregnant if your in pain. I had a cortisone shot not long before I got pregnant and I wonder if that had something to do with it!! The good thing is that I have my family doctor plus a pain specialist doctor so hopefully that will all help throughout the pregnancy! My pharmacist is also amazing and is so supportive and informative. I have a lot of great doctors and nurses that I've dealt with now for quite some time who know all about my pain history so that's comforting. My family doctor mentioned that I might actually feel less pain being pregnant so let's hope she's right!! I have OA in my lower back and a bulging disc. The pain as of lately has been my hips though. I do some rolling with my foam roller and yoga stretches before bed and that seems to help a bit right now. I am still seeing my chiropractor as well.

I think having my friend on mat leave at the same time will make me want to stay off longer. I couldn't do just 6 weeks I think. 2 of my 4 dck's are leaving for kindergarten next year anyways so I'm really only losing the other 2 families. My friends child will come here when she's done mat leave so that leaves me looking for only 2 families which is kinda nice.

Ah the food....I am already craving the "bad" stuff and it's things I don't normally eat otherwise!!! McDonald's chicken nuggets and balogna have been the top 2 for 2 weeks already. I know I need to stop...However, my tastebuds towards fruit has changed and I'm eating a lot more than I normally did and I'm eating fruit I never liked before!

I feel the same way as you TOkids...I don't want them to feel rushed to find other dc but I also don't want them to leave too early as I'm counting on that income. If they leave early I will just have to find a short term replacement I guess....easier said than done though! Who wants a daycare for just a couple of months??

[TinyTwigs]

I have been following this forum for a long while now! I have read in previous posts that you didn't have children and you choose to do daycare for other reasons. When I saw the title I totally thought it was you and screamed out oh my god 5 little moneys is pregnant!! My husband turned around like what the hell is wrong with you hahaha. Congrats I am so so so happy for you!! You seem like a very sweet person so I am sure you will be an amazing mom! I adopted all of my children so I cant really give too much insight on the experience lol

[kindertime]

Congratulations, best of luck to you and your husband! :flower:

[CrazyEight]

Congratulations!! That is such wonderful news!!

I am due with #4 in a few weeks. Regarding EI, you're right, they calculate it based on income after deductions - and you only get 55% of that. For me, there is no way that would be enough. We really need to be a 2-income household, even though my husband makes considerably more than I do. So for us, I am using my vacation time as a mini-mat leave (3 weeks), then having my husband take some vacation time to be home, then having my mother come to stay for 10 days after he goes back to work. She leaves at the end of the summer, and I'll only have a few days left of summer holidays with all my older kids before school goes back in.

Then again, this is my fourth baby, and by this point they just kind of fit into our routine. For a first baby, I'd be much more inclined to take time off, especially your husband's income is enough. Keep in mind that once you make an EI claim, you have to continue paying into it for the rest of the time you are self-employed. As long as you are ok with that, I'd say go for it and take the year off if you can afford it. Having your friend due at the same time is perfect, because mat leave can be extremely isolating.

I told the family I have had the longest at about 3 months. By that point, she was already suspecting, because I started to show at 7 weeks! I was hoping they would stay, and they have been wonderful. If you are closing, I'd hold off telling them as long as possible. You don't want them all to find other care months ahead of time and leave you in the lurch with no income. How long are you planning on working before going on leave? You can go on EI a full 8 weeks before your due date, which you may want to consider if pain is going to be a factor. Pregnancy can be pretty painful in and of itself. Hopefully you can find an OB willing to work with you to find medications that are safe for you to take and that still work for you.

As far as what is safe and not, obviously alcohol is the biggest one. Doctors suggest limiting caffeine, particularly in the first trimester. I have always hated the smell of coffee when pregnant, but had tea throughout this past winter when I was newly pregnant and didn't even think about it - decaf tea is gross, IMO, and the amount of caffeine in one cup of tea is miniscule compared to the amount in a cup of coffee. About a month ago, I found that I can handle coffee-smell again, and I now happily have a cup most days, just no more than one. The rest is centered around the risk of listeria - uncooked eggs (including raw cookie dough), unpasteurized cheeses like brie, and deli meats are generally on the list. I still eat deli meat, I just am smart about it. I buy fresh meat and avoid fast food places with deli meat, like subway, because I have no idea how long that meat has been sitting out, for example. You'll find you have all sorts of weird cravings - fruit was a big one when I was pregnant with both of my girls. You should take a prenatal vitamin containing folic acid, which helps prevent neural tube defects such as spina bifida. If you find one marketed to pregnant women, even a no-name brand, it will have plenty of folic acid. Iron and calcium are also important, so try to up your milk intake. And you gotta give in sometimes to fast food - with my son, alllll I wanted were Wendy's spicy chicken sandwiches. I won't tell you how many times I made my husband stop at Wendy's on the way home - it's embarrassing :)

Congratulations again, and best wishes for a boring, uncomplicated pregnancy! :) :)

[Wonderwiper]

Congratulations!!!!

IMO....take as much time off as you can afford!!!!!

I had a full year with my first ( EI from "regular" job). With my second I closed my daycare completely and started from scratch when she was 8 months. Caring for children is exhausting....especi ally your own!!

If you can't manage a full year you could try stretching it out by taking on part time kids or less kids.

I told all my families just after 12 weeks. They all stayed on till the bitter end ha ha!

Best of luck!!

[teddybear]

Congratulations!!!

I took 3 weeks off when I had my third (first two were prior to daycare, so 6 mths). My dc kids were older though (3,4 and 5) and my own were 4 and 8. I'd definitely take as much time as you can afford. Mat. leave with your own kids is awesome!!!

[AmandaKDT]

Yay for you, long time coming!

My advice would be to plan for the worse case scenario, since you don't know how your pregnancy is going to go and you don't have employee sick leave to fall back on. It could be a breeze and you'll easily have your daycare open until your planned closing date...or you could be like me and have very painful pregnancies and awful nausea the whole time. I had horrible pelvic pain and could barely walk by the end of both of my pregnancies, it would have been impossible to run a daycare.

So pinch your pennies and have a contingency plan if you end up having to close your daycare earlier than expected.

If you can afford it, I would take the full year off or close to it.

FYI, your doctor can prescribe Diclectin to help with the nausea. Eating protein and staying away from greasy food helps too - even though it tastes so good!

[Fun&care]

Congrats 5lm...so happy for you!! Take as much time as you can. I took 18 months off and I felt it was just right. Tight financially but sooooo worth it.

Super happy for you!

[mickyc]

You already know how absolutely excited I am for you!!!

Excellent advice from everyone!

Ha ha chicken nuggets! That was my craving when I was pregnant! Lol

Take as much time off as you can. My daughter was not a good baby! I barely slept, all she did was cry, I never knew that kind of exhaustion. My husband only took a few days off so I was on my own. It was rough!!! I am glad I took almost my full year off.

I would tell you families in October if you can wait that long. Too many daycares have openings in September so would hate for them to jump ship too early.

Congrats!!!

[Suzie_Homemaker]

Congratulations.

I agree. Take as much time as you can afford. You never get those days back.

When my first son born, he only 12 week old when I went back work. It was really hard. Physically I was fine but emotionally I was wreck. Hormones funny things. I not have day care then so much anguish about leaving baby with carer when I want to be home for more time.

I would also wait until after September end before telling client. September is horrible time to fill place if people decide to switch early.

[Van]

Congrats!!!! I hope you have a good preg, term , the 7 month will fly in sometimes and drag in other times and then you a holding a baby in your arms :) Good Luck

[5 Little Monkeys]

Thanks everyone for the well wishes and tips!! Greatly appreciated :)

I'm still undecided how long I'll take off. I would really like to sign on Teacher's kids when I start back up so that means a September opening date would work best. So that leaves me with a mat leave choice of 6 months or 18 months. If I just take the year that means I start in a Feb and I think it would be hard to sign on teacher's kids than. The time between 12 and 18 months I could start pt with just taking my child's friend so that may work too.

I think I'm going to hold off on telling them until Sept/Oct if I can. I am really hoping the 2nd trimester is better and I will feel more like myself and less lazy...it's driving me crazy!! This year I have been overwhelmed with parents wanting a September start date so if I tell them too early and they leave, I do think I could likely fill the spots but it would be short term obviously. Quality daycare does seem a little scarce around here so some parents may be okay with that anyways as some are incredibly desperate right now and will take whatever I can give them.

Amanda...yup, on diclectin already :) It's been helping sometimes. I haven't puked much so thats great lol but I do have all day nausea. Fun fun!!

MickyC....I blame you for the chicken nuggets LOL. Ever since you told me about it they've been on my brain. I think I've had them 3x and I think I'm over them now haha. Beef jerky is another thing I've been eating a lot of...ugh!!

Thanks everyone...I also hope for a boring pregnancy!!

PS. I am whiny sucky baby when sick so I am going to apologize in advance for the posts that may come in the future... ;) I feel like I may have a lot of ranting and complaining to do coming up!! haah

[Suzie_Homemaker]

Teacher children good idea for summer off. But not mean have to wait for Sept only. Teacher come off mat leave all year round. Could maybe target them after 8 month or so, and just have one or two to ease back into day care then Summer off before full numbers come in Sept. Just option to tide over if 18 month off not practical financially.

[5 Little Monkeys]

Teacher children good idea for summer off. But not mean have to wait for Sept only. Teacher come off mat leave all year round. Could maybe target them after 8 month or so, and just have one or two to ease back into day care then Summer off before full numbers come in Sept. Just option to tide over if 18 month off not practical financially.

Yes that's true! However, my child and my friends child will fill up my infant spaces so my other 2 spots will have to be over 2 years old. IME, teachers look for new daycares with a September start date but you're right, they may need a start date throughout the year too :)

[5 Little Monkeys]

Can't sleep so thought I'd post a few more questions lol

1. What did you do/take for headaches? I suffer from migraines and they've been a bit more common lately. I know I can't take excedrin but can I still use my Japanese mint oil?

2. What did you do for insomnia? I'm having a really hard time since I can't take my sleeping pills anymore. Warm milk and a bath before bed just isn't doing it!

3. What were some of your must haves during pregnancy? (Pillows, lotions, exercises etc )

[torontokids]

Just a word of warning (and to add to your list of things to avoid) I would recommend you avoid the beef jerky. It fits into the category of processed meats. Listeria is a risk but you also don't want to expose your fetus to all the nitrates in the meat. Its not a big deal and some may disagree with me but if you can give your baby the best start, why not? Even "nitrate free" has nitrates as Market Place exposed the companies that "Celery extract" which is naturally occurring nitrates and actually just as bad for you. I stayed away from lunch meat altogether in pregnancy #1, I have it once in a while this time around. But if beef jerky is something you're craving and having a lot then maybe not a good thing.

Not sure about mint oil. That kind of stuff I would google or ask my Dr. Tylenol is safe during pregnancy though.

[5 Little Monkeys]

Thanks, I wondered about the beef jerky but from what I read online, it seems to be okay in moderation? I have an appt tomorrow evening so I'll make sure to ask about it! Will also be asking about the mint oil. I read to stay away from lavender so that's why I wondered about mint. I really hope it's safe because it works so well for my headaches and migraines if used early enough

On the T3's now and they do poop all! :( lol My whole body feels sore and tingly

[Lee-Bee]

My morning sickness lasted long past first trimester and was all day. I always carried large ziploc bags with me. They work great if you throw up...zip shut and toss! Fold the top zipper part over and the bag stays open...keep one on lap while driving lol

I had to always have something in my stomach..an empty stomach made me so nauseous and I'd eventually throw up. I kept saltine crackers at my bedside. When I woke in the morning, without moving or sitting up I had to have 3-4 crackers. If I didn't eat the crackers and sat up I'd throw up...if I ate the crackers and waited a few minutes I'd be fine (my nurse told me to try it).

I had a period where I NEEDED poutine. Like NEEDED it. My husband grew to know this and wouldn't question our having to stop twice on one outing to get some from a drive through. it was insane. Shortly into this phase I was grocery shopping and blackedout in the grocery store checkout...right after I paid. I woke up to paramedics. The poor cashier said I just went straight down. All the tests they ran didn't show much other than really low blood pressure (my norm is low and pregnancy lowers it). I am certain I NEEDED all that poutine for the salt to help raise my blood pressure! Pay attention to what your body is trying to tell you!!

Drink water, TONS of water. My nurses said 11-13cups minimum a day. It continues on through breastfeeding. Water is crucial!!

Be prepared for the oddest things to randomly happen! I broke a rib at about 5months. Doing nothing except being pregnant. They suspect she had her foot up there and kicked it. Anyways it happened late evening, the night before we had to fly to visit family for Christmas. Not knowing why my rib would suddenly hurt with such excruciating pain we somehow got me to the airport and had to use wheel chairs and support staff to get me onto the plane! Landed and had my family (and husband) take me straight to the hospital.

[5 Little Monkeys]

Ouch leebee!!! That's crazy!

Spoke to dr last night....jerky and mint oil is good! Yay lol

[bright sparks]

Congrats 5LM...this is such exciting news...thank you for sharing it with us!!!

I would consider booking in with a naturopath to go over effective non medicinal treatments for you pain and insomnia. My daughter takes Ionic Magnesium Citrate powder as per the ND and she has gone from 4 hours of sleep a night to being dead to the world for the entire night. I can not say whether this is safe for you during pregnancy, but boy does it ever work for her. I thought it would take a while to kick in, but nope...night one she was crashed out.

An ND would likely work on reducing the level of inflammation in your body by supporting your hormone health. This would then reduce pain and likely make your pregnancy much more enjoyable too. Maybe your hubby has coverage with his job or if not I imagine you would not have to go to often once you had a regime that worked for you. Additionaly, I would have an air of caution when taking nutritional advice from an MD. They are not trained in the area of nutrition, and while so much faith is placed in an MD, they just aren't qualified to give nutritional advice. They follow the Canada food guide which is set by dieticians of Canada. Unfortunatly they are governed by the Canadian Government, hence not being the best source for optimal nutrition.

To minimize or even eliminate the headaches/migraines, you could eliminate dairy, yes even being pregnant. There are much healthier options to get the required daily amount of calcium. An ND could also help you with this, or I can give you the contact info of a holistic nutritionist who specializes in anti-inflammatory who does her appointments via Skype or telephone...let me know if you are interested. Given what you have described briefly about your medical situation, in your shoes I'd probably want to handle that promptly to help have a smooth pregnancy.

Aside from that though...congrats again. I am surrounded by friends having babies and I get so excited given that I had mine so young, it seems a lifetime ago and I am only just 33 (last week) Mine are 14 and 12 1/2...I have had the opportunity to spoil a lot of my preggers friends over the last few years :)

[AmandaKDT]

Congrats 5LM...this is such exciting news...thank you for sharing it with us!!!

I would consider booking in with a naturopath to go over effective non medicinal treatments for you pain and insomnia. My daughter takes Ionic Magnesium Citrate powder as per the ND and she has gone from 4 hours of sleep a night to being dead to the world for the entire night. I can not say whether this is safe for you during pregnancy, but boy does it ever work for her. I thought it would take a while to kick in, but nope...night one she was crashed out.

An ND would likely work on reducing the level of inflammation in your body by supporting your hormone health. This would then reduce pain and likely make your pregnancy much more enjoyable too. Maybe your hubby has coverage with his job or if not I imagine you would not have to go to often once you had a regime that worked for you. Additionaly, I would have an air of caution when taking nutritional advice from an MD. They are not trained in the area of nutrition, and while so much faith is placed in an MD, they just aren't qualified to give nutritional advice. They follow the Canada food guide which is set by dieticians of Canada. Unfortunatly they are governed by the Canadian Government, hence not being the best source for optimal nutrition.

To minimize or even eliminate the headaches/migraines, you could eliminate dairy, yes even being pregnant. There are much healthier options to get the required daily amount of calcium. An ND could also help you with this, or I can give you the contact info of a holistic nutritionist who specializes in anti-inflammatory who does her appointments via Skype or telephone...let me know if you are interested. Given what you have described briefly about your medical situation, in your shoes I'd probably want to handle that promptly to help have a smooth pregnancy.

Aside from that though...congrats again. I am surrounded by friends having babies and I get so excited given that I had mine so young, it seems a lifetime ago and I am only just 33 (last week) Mine are 14 and 12 1/2...I have had the opportunity to spoil a lot of my preggers friends over the last few years :)

Agree about Family Doctors not being a source of knowledgeable information/help when it comes to nutrition. Have had several instances with different doctors where this was very true, especially when it comes to dairy.

[bright sparks]

In the UK we are advised to avoid foods rich in Vitamin A besides fruits and vegetables. So Liver and pate are an absolute no no along with fortified dairy and cereals which usually has additional Vitamin A in it! Also, any skincare products containing retinol. Retinol is the pre-formed Vitamin A which is essential synthetic which is high risk in pregnancy for birth defects. Carotenoids are naturally occurring vitamin A which is generally found in fruits and vegetables and is in pregnancy supplements as beta-carotene which is okay

[bright sparks]

Agree about Family Doctors not being a source of knowledgeable information/help when it comes to nutrition. Have had several instances with different doctors where this was very true, especially when it comes to dairy.

The best you can expect from an MD is that they have had 1 hour of education in nutrition. Most have had none. DO your own research, back it up multiple times from reputable sources and go from there. RHN is a specialist in the field of Nutrition and they are regulated. Dieticians are qualified but have a mentality of 1 way fits all and are legally not allowed to deviate from it as set out by the Canadian Government so they are a waste of time too.

[5 Little Monkeys]

Yes, I have been doing lots of research (google counts right lol) and everything my dr has told me so far seems to be the same I am finding online. Thankfully she isn't a pill doctor and is more about natural remedies anyways. She gave me a website to check out at as well for questions. I have a really good pharmacist that I can talk too as well if needed and we have a great health food store that is helpful too. Although, I have read to be careful of some herbal stuff as there isn't enough research on some things.

So much info to take in and do's and don'ts.....lol