Nap time terror

[planet.caravan67]

I have had a new little boy who started first week of July, he is 14 months, in the beginning he cried very much and gave me a hard time to fall asleep, but he was napping on average an hour and a half, sometimes less sometimes more. The last 2-3 weeks he began screaming worst than before when it was nap time, sometimes it would take me an hour to get him to fall asleep, whenever I put him down in the playpen he wakes up, crying and I have to start it all over again (something he wasn't doing before) and the worst part of all his naps now only last about half an hour, I can't get his back to sleep after he wakes up unless I sit in a dark room holding him and stay there until he wakes up from his nap - not happening- and whenever I try to put him down in the playpen again he wakes up.

Yesterday I actually got him to sleep without screaming his head off and just made him a bed on the floor with blankets and managed to put him down there after rocking him to sleep, putting him to sleep took 20 mins (which is good compared to what he was doing before) this was all miraculous yesterday, however his nap still only lasted 30 mins.

His parents say at home he naps 2 hours and they have no trouble putting him back to sleep if he wakes up mid nap, here that's not the case.
The trouble is I have other children that need to nap and are good nappers (average hour and a half) and when he wakes up screaming he wakes the other ones up too, which I find just isn't fair to them, then nobody sleeps

I haven't had a decent break ever since this started, my lunch I practically have to swallow without chewing because i can't eat around this child either, whenever he sees someone eating he wants what they are having and my adult food isn't suitable for him, he will just cling on to my legs and wail for what I am having. No giving him one of his treats doesn't soothe him, he wants what I am having and only that

How does nap time work n your daycare? Any tips for getting this child to nap properly? I just don't understand why he has cut his naps short, there is no disturbance in the room where the children are sleeping, no reason why he should be waking up.

Thank you very much!

[Lee-Bee]

What are you eating htat he can't have? Is it not appropriate because it is junk food or just "adult" food. My daughter was eating slabs of steak at 8months of age. I don't believe there is any difference between toddler food and adult food. My daughter (and DGC) eat spicy food, they eat what I eat. So if you are just concerned he isn't 'old' enough for your food i'd just give him a bit to keep him quiet (no need for extra drama). Maybe it is spicy and he doesn't like it...he'll learn to stop asking!

As for naps. You need to decide if all your effort is worth it. Sounds like you are putting in more hours of getting him to sleep than he is sleeping. Which is NOT acceptable in daycare! If all the rocking isn't working STOP rocking. Put him in a playpen and walk away. He will learn soon enough. Put him as far from the other kids as you can. Stop engaging him. The other kids will learn soon enough to tune him out. HE will learn soon enough to stop screaming when he isn't held. By rocking him to sleep and placing him down without him waking you are freaking him out when he wakes alone. Kids to not like change...if a child falls asleep in your arms and awakes a while later in a different place (not in your arms) they get scared and pissed and scream. I would wake up screaming if I fell asleep in my bed and woke awhile later in a different spot! I wouldn't know what the heck happen to put me there.

[Lee-Bee]

Also...he likely slept great the first while because of sheer exhaustion from crying so much and from being overwhelmed. Now he is used to the place and is expressing his dislike of the whole nap process. Completely normal.

[babydom]

My advice is put him in and leave him. Go back after a bit don't say anything lay him down and leave. Go again after half an hr. Say nothing lay him down leave. Make the going back stretches longer and longer he'll learn to self soothe. Good luck.

[planet.caravan67]

I eat food spicy, I have let him lick a piece of chicken once (was spicy) he didn't like it, yet kept asking for more, its not like he is hungry, he just wants to eat the same thing when he sees someone else eating...

Yes I am going to put him and let him fall asleep on his own. The only thing that bothers me is that his crying will disrupt the other children, but they are already bothered by him anyway.
I lay down at night and hear him crying in my ears although he is not there. His parents specifically asked me to rock him as that's what they do at home but its not working for me. I hadn't thought about the exhaustion thing but you're probably right.

I'll give it a go starting today, thanks for the advice

[babydom]

Don't worry about the other kids. They will adjust and learn to sleep through the cries. Bottle feeding or rocking a child to sleep is NOT for a daycare setting. As much as we like to rock every child to sleep we just don't have five pairs of arms! You'll have to let mom know that in a day care setting its just not possible to rock a child to sleep especially if another one is needing your attention

[Lee-Bee]

Best of luck, it will be hard for a bit but be consistent, firm but loving and he'll figure it all out.

What parents do at home is just not feasible in group care. You NEED a break in order to be at your best for the children's sake. Using your only possible rest time to continually rock a child to sleep is just not feasible in group care, you will burn out.

Are you able to separate yourself from him while eating? Use a baby gate to block off where you are. He'll likely cry at the gate but won't be climbing your legs for your food. Hopefully he learns soon enough your food is yours! I often save my main lunch until nap time so I can eat in peace. I sit with them at lunch and eat a bit of what they are having as a good role model but I then eat again on my own once they are down.

Don't worry about how he naps at home. He will learn to do things your way soon enough. Also, take what parents say with a grain of salt. Their being able to put him back down easily is incredibly subjective. They likely rock him back to sleep and wait till he is in deep sleep, put him down every so gentle and tip toe out of the room...simple right?? They are thinking from their point of view not form yours with having many children all day!! He won't be the same in your care as at home and that is perfectly fine. He'll learn what is expected of him and he will likely adapt and flourish. Your goal until that happens is to stay sane!! For me it is junk food during nap!! I get a bit of chips or chocolate once they are down as my celebration. Something to look forward to and to reward my self for having survived!! Find something to reward yourself with. Find a way to disconnect for a bit so you stay sane and healthy!

[mickyc]

No rocking here - ever!! I give my families a form that explains my expectations. They know that I do not rock, feed bottles in bed etc. before they sign on.

I have 2 rooms for nap. All good mappers sleep together, any bad mappers sleep in the laundry room. That's usually where all new kids start as well. I put child down and walk away. I do exactly what babydom does. There will be lots of crying to start but they will learn.

I eat snack at same time as kids so child should be at the table eating their own food. I eat my lunch when kids are in bed.

[planet.caravan67]

So today I put him to sleep in a separate room, twenty minutes of crying later he fell asleep, the other children couldn't sleep because they heard him crying but they were quiet and resting and finally when he fell asleep they did too (I live in an apartment - house divided in two, so since its only one floor its hard to get away from the sound) I went every so often to check on him and lie him down again and tuck him in. He woke up thirty mins later as usual screaming and fifteen minutes later went back to sleep, in the process woke up the other children too but I was able to keep them calm and put them back to sleep after it was quiet.

I do save my meal for nap time but recently there just hadn't been enough time, by the time I start my meal he wakes up, he is extremely clingy, if I am not where he can reach me he has a meltdown, I get about 3 or so a day, for no serious reason, I have begun ignoring them, before I used to try to comfort him but I have noticed comforting or not there is no difference in how long it takes him to get over it, hopefully he will see it doesn't get him anywhere and will just stop

I am hoping this behavior will cease soon as in september I have 2 new children coming and I'll be that much busier, no time for excessive unecessariy crying