Strange Request?

[LilDuck]

Hi there. First time poster... I just opened my home daycare this past September and things have been going well so far. I have one spot open now and a family has been inquiring about it for their infant child. The parents have already visited with me, met my family and toured my home in the evening. I have provided them with a copy of my Daycare Handbook. I have also completed a small questionnaire for them (they are first time parents, so I figure they are being extra cautious?) and now the mom wants to come by with her child and spent "several hours" at the daycare to see how things are run, how her infant gets along with the other kids, etc. The thing is, the parents haven't even confirmed that they are going to take the spot and have openly admitted that they are still trying to decide. Maybe it's because I'm new, but I'm not sure I'm comfortable having a non-registered parent and child come into my home daycare and spend a half day there. I don't normally let other adults into the daycare (other than the kids' parents) during operating hours for safety reasons. Has anyone else had requests like this? How would you proceed? I'm not sure what to do... TIA!

[BlueRose]

This is normal. I personal don't allow it. A child always acts differently when their mom is with them, so she will not see a "true picture" of how her child will be. I feel that it is confusing for the child and unfair to the other children. I tell this to parents and also ask them if they would like someone they have never meet and I really don't know in the daycare around their child. They usually say no.

If you do decide to allow it, then make sure the mom is aware that you are not there to talk to her, but to watch all the kids in your care. I would also keep it to one hour.

[5 Little Monkeys]

I think it's normal to ask too. Totally up to you on how you want to handle it. I did it more in the beginning when I had new first time moms. I allowed them an hour to two and it always went relatively fine. It depends on the child, but bluerose is right, some kids won't give mom the true picture. I haven't had anyone ask in so long so I'm not sure what I'd do now. It doesn't bother me a whole lot and the crew I have now, I know it wouldn't bother them either.

I always tell new parents that in the beginning I'll send lots of pics and videos and than it decreases as time goes on. I totally understand the uncomfortableness/uneasiness that would come with leaving your child in the hands of a stranger essentially. Until trust is formed, I think it's normal parent behaviour :) A few months down the road I expect them to "back off" a bit as they now know and trust me. Good luck!

[babydom]

Ya it's normal. But I don't allow it. I say ofcoarse but we can meet up at a park, mall or playgroup or library and spend together there and she can see how I interact with the kids in a place that's not my home. I only allow parents of registered kids into my home for short play dates before the child is to start.

[BlueRose]

You can also let her know when you will be at the park. That way she can show up and see how you are with the kids and let her daughter play with the dc kids. She is responsible for her child the whole time.
They other kids are use to having other people around at the park.

This gives a more common ground and the parent isn't "intruding" in your work space.

[Lee-Bee]

Totally normal. it is up to you to decide whether or not this is something you want to accommodate.

I don't as it is just too much to handle, the kids all act differently, depending on the kids you have I've had kids that out right scream in terror at the sight of other adults and there is just no way any one benefits from that.

If they can't take the leap of faith that I will care for their child without them visiting during daycare hours then they are just not a good match for me.

Just explain your reasoning and leave it to them to decide if they wish to proceed. I just explain it from the children's perspective (some are scared of new people and this is their safe zone), let them know that by letting them do this it means you would be doing the same with future potential clients meaning random adults in contact with their child.

[LilDuck]

Thanks so much for all the helpful (and quick!) replies. I guess it just struck me as odd because none of my other parents have ever asked to do anything like that. This has been a very demanding interview process so far with them (meeting, phone calls, questionnaire and now this)... but I suppose that tends to happen with first-time parents.
I am a little hesitant to do it because I have one 2 yr old girl that is terribly shy - it took her almost two months to not run away crying when my husband would come home at the end of the day. I'm concerned that she will panic and cry, and that will set off the little 8 month old (who tends to cry when other kids do, just to join in) and suddenly my daycare is a crying mess of kids. Not the best first-impression. :)
I think I may try to go the "no strangers in the home during daycare hours" route. I don't mind if she wants to drop by for half an hour of so during transition (if she actually decides to place her child with me), but I'm not sure that hanging around for a few hours as a "stranger" may be the best way to go.
I only have the one space open now and quite honestly, I'm not desperate to fill it. Yes, the extra money would be nice, but I also don't want to overburden myself (as a new provider) and bring on what may be some high-maintenance parents...

[Suzie_Homemaker]

Hi there. First time poster... I just opened my home daycare this past September and things have been going well so far. I have one spot open now and a family has been inquiring about it for their infant child. The parents have already visited with me, met my family and toured my home in the evening. I have provided them with a copy of my Daycare Handbook. I have also completed a small questionnaire for them (they are first time parents, so I figure they are being extra cautious?) and now the mom wants to come by with her child and spent "several hours" at the daycare to see how things are run, how her infant gets along with the other kids, etc. The thing is, the parents haven't even confirmed that they are going to take the spot and have openly admitted that they are still trying to decide. Maybe it's because I'm new, but I'm not sure I'm comfortable having a non-registered parent and child come into my home daycare and spend a half day there. I don't normally let other adults into the daycare (other than the kids' parents) during operating hours for safety reasons. Has anyone else had requests like this? How would you proceed? I'm not sure what to do... TIA!

It not uncommon - nor questionnaire - from new parent but you not have to accommodate it. I not do questionnaires and I not do pop and and see play dates.

Client come for interview and they either want space or not, but I too busy to jump in hoops just because they wish me to. Don't be afraid of say no, and don't be afraid of draw conclusion about how demanding these might be as client.

No shame in saying no, and explaining they have had opportunity to see dayhome, meet entire family, read all document but not a drop in centre and neither insurance or current client would be comfortable with strangers hanging out in business hours. It time she decide but several hours play date is not part my interview process. If they want phase in once signed, that up to you decide if you want do - but again, not obligated to have parent present for it all either. It false environment anyway. Parent want see their child is happy but parent not invisible while observing and it strange for other children.

Time she sign or move on but I would not do this.

[LilDuck]

Gotta also say, this forum has been a lifeline for me so far! I had so many questions/concerns/fears starting out, and I've been able to find answers and support here. It's awesome! :yes:

[Suzie_Homemaker]

I think common for new carer to feel they need be everything for everyone one. Children are important but that not mean we have accept every and any imposition parent would want us to.

Set boundaries of service. Determine process for interview and not be afraid to enforce boundary. Without it, you be insane by end of first year. It a two way interview so if parent demanding or unrealistic, take that information as gift telling you what they be like long term. And never be afraid to say no - and you not have to justify your decision.

[33 Daiseys]

Nope nope and nope. Did it once never again. It can be very very difficut for kids in care and can set the potential child up that mommy will always come to daycare.

[MommaL]

It's amazing how much I learn from this site. As a parent with children in daycare, I did everything that these parents have requested (minus the questionnaire). But, it almost seems to be the norm to do so where I am since all of my friends do it too. No one ever questions it. And actually, looking back, many providers recommended these visits themselves as they wanted us to see what the daycare is like on a normal day. It's much like going to a daycare centre during business hours. Usually, it was a quick visit- maybe 30 minutes at most. I certainly don't think it's a case of being demanding. As a parent, there is something comforting about seeing the environment that my child will be in. It's not about getting to know the other children present or seeing how the provider handles the children. It's just about getting a feel of the place, which is hard to do during the interview. It was also another opportunity for the daycare provider to see us and our children again, since accepting us into her care was a decision she had to make too. Of course, now that I am planning to open a daycare, I can understand the concerns that a provider might have regarding letting parents into their home. And I too am starting to wonder how I will handle this. But I think if I have already met them during the initial interview and feel comfortable with them at that point, then I would accommodate their request. I understand that these are their children and it's a big decision for them. I want them to feel comfortable with that decision.

[Suzie_Homemaker]

It's much like going to a daycare centre during business hours. Usually, it was a quick visit- maybe 30 minutes at most. I certainly don't think it's a case of being demanding. As a parent, there is something comforting about seeing the environment that my child will be in.

In PEI, we have very strict ratios. If we go over ratio even for few mins, we are operating illegally. I not routinely offer phase ins until contacted place has started. Until child who create vacancy has left, if phase in happen, I risk lose business if new child coming, even with parent because extra child in house.

If my client want phase in, then they have to use first few week of their contract and come reduced hours - while pay for place.

You should check your regulation in case your province same as mine.

For my phase in, parent not present. Drop child and go. Can return in hour, or two or after half day - up to parent. But children not used to strangers in house and it affect their behavior and smooth run of day.

You have decide what suit you best. If I get request from parent that will affect day of current client child, I will deny and explain why. But this not drop in centre. I not have parent call in during day unless getting child early. I not able to have 5 set parent pop in and watch child play and my rule tend be, if I can't do for all, I not do for one.