Oh boy!!

[Shannie]

Good morning!!

My dhb arrived this morning, sat down for breakfast and proceeded to tell me the following. "Mommy and me are going to be living in a different house without Daddy and Boss (his dog). So Mommy and Daddy don't fight no more. I won't be coming to your house no more and Mommy has to find a new house for me to go to."

Ok, this boy is known to tell elaborate stories, however, this sounds way too grown up of a story for a 4 year old. Would you question the parents on it or wait for the bomb to drop? I don't want to pry and I am sure that they will give the 30 days notice....just wow...anyways......

[babydom]

I would ask. XXX told me a story at breakfast this morning about you guys moving and how he can't come here anymore. I told him if that were true it makes me sad. Is this story true?

[Suzie_Homemaker]

I would ask. I want know if vacancy coming.

[5 Little Monkeys]

Tough call! On one hand, I'm guessing he was only with you until next Fall so you probably knew withdrawal was coming soon but not this soon?

I'd likely leave it be until after Christmas. If it's true, I'm sure it's already a stressful time with Christmas, telling family members, looking for a new house etc and I wouldn't want to add to that right now.

[Shannie]

Up until this announcement, He was going to stay with me through kindergarten too since I transport. So it will come as a surprise for sure. I am thinking I will wait until after Christmas as well, definitely a stressful time. Maybe they were just prepping him for a what if scenario. I don't know, seems like such a grown up thing to tell your child if it isn't for sure happening though.

[flowerchild]

Wow. I'm surprised they would mention a new daycare to him before they mentioned it to you. I'm also surprised that they wouldn't give their child care provider a heads up about such a big change in their child's life situation.

I'm not sure what I would do. I would maybe give them a few days to see if they would tell me and if they didn't and DCB brought it up again, I would bring it up with them.

[sandylynn]

You haven't seen ANYTHING....it's usually on the wall....I've had parents split while kiddies are in my care...number one ...dead giveaway is that there is usually a HUGE COMMUNICATION problem between the parents ...ie, when I ask a parent about something...they will say "Oh, she (he) didn't tell me about that"...I'm like "WHAT"...DO YOU PEOPLE EVEN TALK...I asked her (him) to speak to you about that 3 days ago and again when they came last night for pick-up ". I am usually 100% right...they are splitting up....I gave a mother proper heck for not telling me...This little guy I had for a couple of years was acting out all the time...couldn't put my finger on it...unbelieveable what I found out he was witnessing at home between the parents....maybe he just needed that extra hug or little bit more attention at my home to make his day happier....so in closing....DAMN RIGHT I WOULD ASK....

[MommaL]

Honestly, if it doesn't seem to be affecting him to much (e.g. he's not crying, angry or constantly talking about it), I wouldn't say anything just yet. Who knows what the actual conversation was that his parents had with him and the parents are probably waiting for what they believe is the right time to inform you. Certainly, if it means that he will no longer be in care, the sooner you know the better. But perhaps his mom is wanting to wait until she finds a new home to provide notice since until that happens, she may not know what their daycare needs will be. Such a sad situation. I know of many families who are able to separate amicably. Hopefully this is the case for this family (assuming that it's true).

[Shannie]

so, awkward moment at pick up. Dad picked up last night and as dhb came running down the stairs he says "mommy and I aren't going to live with you anymore!" Dad just said "no, that's not true". Boy says "yes it is, Mommy told me". Dad then got boy's jacket on and left. I texted the Mom later to remind her to send dhb in pj's for our party today and I got no reply....on a positive note...I filled 2 spots for January so if they do give notice it won't be so bad (I've had my share of issues with this family).

[babydom]

Wow! I could have not stood there and let him leave. Lol. I would have been like what is he talking about, is everything ok? Lol the suspense is killing me. Haha :p

[Shannie]

lol. I am curious. Dhb told me today that he was wrong and he is still going to live with his Daddy. So, some major issues at his house. Explains a lot about his behavior! I'll keep everyone updated on what unfolds.

[5 Little Monkeys]

Parents could be trying to work it out still?

I don't think I'd ask. I'd feel like I was prying and it's a very personal question. I wouldn't want them asking me until I was ready to tell them if roles were reversed.

[Shannie]

I'm going to leave it. I think that there is definitely something going on but I don't feel as though it is any of my business yet. I do think that the mom needs to be careful with what she says, if dhb is saying this to me, I'm betting quite a few people are going to hear about it. Whoops!

[mimi]

This is a personal matter between the parents. I would not ask unless child's behaviour has suddenly changed and then I would only ask if child was being exposed to any new stresses. I am sure the parents will give proper notice if they change daycare, if not, sometimes we have to be prepared for not receiving proper notice when a family falls apart.

[Shannie]

*UPDATE* dhb was dropped off this am. Mom came to the door (she never does) and she told me that the Dad was going to pick dhb up and she left a bag with pj's and a bed time book.....dhb told me that his Dad is at his Grandma's....interes ting side note, a man picked him up yesterday (Mom stayed in the car) and dhb introduced him as his new uncle, then told me that he has 2 new uncles...oh my....

[5 Little Monkeys]

With it being the holidays, it's possible they are uncles he's never met?

Hopefully their separation doesn't affect you and they don't need to withdraw from your care!!

[Shannie]

Could be for sure. Just with all that I've heard from Dhb it made me raise my eyebrows a little. lol. I feel sorry for the little guy. He is having a meltdown now about his backpack. There are toys in it the same as ours and I have a rule about bringing toys in (always causes fights and the toys can be mixed up/lost). I have put the backpack away and he is in the time out spot bawling.

[babydom]

Seriously just ask mom or dad! Lol

[Shannie]

Dad picked up yesterday, same time as another pick up so we didn't get a chance to chat before they left. Mom dropped off this am and sent him to the door then drove off. They don't make it easy. lol

[mickyc]

Really? I would never allow parent to just send child in

[torontokids]

I had a situation similar to this. The parents had recently separated when the child started with me. After a year, his play changed (mom and dad lived in the same house) and I noticed his parents were seeing each other a lot more and appeared to be getting along for the kids (which it wasn't clear whether they were just moving on or the fresh wounds had healed). I mentioned to them that his play had changed and he may be confused about their relationship. They just smiled and told me a couple of weeks later that they were back together and buying a house together. It could have been more awkward, especially because I had no clue they were together, I just figured they were getting along. This was such a brutal divorce too. They sold their house, divorced, fought all the time then got back together and bought another house.

[Shannie]

I am having issue with payment now. I messaged the Mom yesterday (she prefers text) and reminded her of payment. I haven't heard back and haven't received payment. This afternoon I am going to email her an invoice and remind her that overdue fees will start today if not paid. I am not sure what else to do, I have only ever had to send out reminders and then I get payment that day, I have never had a non payment.

[babydom]

Just keep track and add up the late fees. Can u contact dad?

[Shannie]

I just send another email saying:

"Hi! This is another reminder for January fees. The total is $__ including the $25/day late fee. Please make arrangements or emt me at____. Thanks so much"

If I don't hear back then I will email out an invoice and text the dad as well.

I had a feeling that their personal issues were going to effect me. I'm contemplating giving them 30 days notice once I receive payment. I really don't want to be chasing my paycheck because mom and dad are having issues.

[Shannie]

I got paid!!! Her reply to my text was "the password is ____". no, oh, I am sorry...nothing. but at least I got paid.

[Shannie]

For all those who are curious. Mom told me this am that they are separating. she said that she will be staying in their house for the next 3 months but then doesn't know what will happen. I told her that I already knew because her son has been talking about it. She seemed surprised. She also told me that DHB is extremely tired today because he was up late with his dad. Poor boy can barely keep his eyes open.

At pick up last night Dad told him that they were going to his grandparents. DHB asked if his batman toy would be there and when he was told no he started to cry. Dad got mad and yelled at him and "threatened" to take him back home instead. I see this starting to get messy.

I was all ready to hand them their termination notice but will hold off for a bit. Poor kiddo. I am however going to start heavily advertising so that I can fill his spot.

[babydom]

Yikes. Poor boy. Poor parents. Poor family :(. I'd refil his spot. Divorce is messy :( or can be at least

[daycarelady2]

So I basically had the exact same thing happen. The boy 3 1/2 at the time told me he was going to live with dad in a new house without mom and the dog and I was mostly shocked and sad if this was true. So I asked mom from a completely sympathetic concerned stance and what had happened was that he had gotten a new tree house and they had been talking about sleeping in it with dad. I was relieved to find out a divorce was not true. Now in your case I'm assuming it isn't a tree house and the fighting thing he mentioned is sad. But i would just ask mom from a complete caring point of view. Sad hes leaving and you wont get to keep him and will have to replace his spot but how sad is that? It must have happened quickly. That being sad it also could have been a complete rash decision or heated argument the parents may have had.

[daycarelady2]

Oops just saw your reply. Sorry

[Shannie]

hi again ladies. More issue and I am not sure what to do. Yesterday My daughter started on the bus. We walked to the bus stop to pick her up and DHB started to throw snow at the other kids faces. I told him not to do that and he had one of his tantrums. He buried his face in a snowbank. I repeatedly asked him to get his face out of the snow and ended up having to physically pull him out. When we got home I noticed his cheeks had big white welts on them. I warmed him up and called his mom. She came and got him and said that it was weird. I mentioned that he keeps having these tantrums. She kind of questioned if it had anything to do with what is going on at home. She then came to the conclusion that it must be because of the change in routine with going to the bus stop. I'm sure that my jaw was on the floor. I don't even know what to think/do at this point. I feel bad for the boy but if I can't even walk to the bus stop....sigh.....

[mickyc]

My daughter has a sensitivity to cold and gets welts on her face in really cold weather or with snow touching her skin. Nothing to worry about.

If his behavior is just too much for you there is nothing wrong with terminating.

[babydom]

My daughter is the same with the cold/snow. Gets frost bite quickly. Heals after it warms up though. Stop feeling sorry for the boy. Take care of your self and your other kids. Terminate him. He'll be fine at the next place or places he goes to. It's ok to be selfish and think of yourselve if U've done everything for him. With the change at his home it's just going to get worst!