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View Full Version : Parent wanting me to release a child to someone they don't know?



Skysue
11-24-2011, 05:08 PM
Crazy day today and to top it all off one of my daycare Dad's called to say he is stuck in traffic and he is getting a friend to pick up his 2 year old. I asked if she knows them and he said "NO". I said that I would keep her until he comes then. He says she will be ok? I told him if there’s an issue with it than I'm not releasing her.

Like as if his 2 year old is going to be going home with a complete stranger, as if I would allow it to happen. The lady did end up coming to my door and I asked her if she knew her and she said no, I then asked if she had a car seat and she said no. I said sorry you made the trip but she will be waiting for her Dad.

Oh my goodness what is wrong with this world!

mlc1982
11-25-2011, 01:28 AM
Seriously, what is wrong with people these days? I would never expect my child to go anywhere with someone they didn't know, whether they were a friend of mine or not. And to show up without a car seat, really?? Glad you stuck to your guns!!

Judy Trickett
11-25-2011, 07:42 AM
I wouldn't have released her either. Even IF a contact is listed on my paperwork (like a grandma) I will NOT release the child to the grandma if the parents didn't previously tell me she was picking up. And my reasoning for that is because crazy things happen in this world and in the relationships of these daycare families that we might not know about. SO......what if, let's say, a mom and dad were recently separated and I didn't know and the grandma shows up in an attempt to take the child due to custody issues etc etc. KWIM?

Just because you are listed as an emergency or "approved" person to pick up does NOT mean I will release a child to you unless the "normal parent(s)" that usually drop off or pick up give me a heads up about it.

These parents don't realize that although they might be miffed at us because we screwed up their plans or inconvenienced them what we are really doing is protecting their child.

mamaof4
11-25-2011, 02:16 PM
Judy- just a question, but I have had to have others pick up my children at school etc, on short notice due to medical emergencies requiring me to be in the hospital. The person doing the pick up is always someone the kids know, but how is that kind of situation handled?

Cocoon
11-25-2011, 05:52 PM
Here is another senerio, parents having custody issues that we don't know and one of them called you and told you that grandpa or grandma will pick the kids up? What can you do then? We can't really know can we unless we have been told?

I would realise the child only to people on the contract that parents put but would not realise them if that person hasn't got a car seat and would tell this to parents before signing the contract.

Judy Trickett
11-26-2011, 02:43 PM
Judy- just a question, but I have had to have others pick up my children at school etc, on short notice due to medical emergencies requiring me to be in the hospital. The person doing the pick up is always someone the kids know, but how is that kind of situation handled?

It would have to be a pretty dire case where the parents were literally disabled to the point either they or their alternate contacts that are on my paperwork are also disabled. I ask for both parents AND at least two alternate contacts.

mamaof4
11-27-2011, 12:03 PM
It would have to be a pretty dire case where the parents were literally disabled to the point either they or their alternate contacts that are on my paperwork are also disabled. I ask for both parents AND at least two alternate contacts.

Ohhhkay, I misunderstood you. Got it!

mom-in-alberta
12-01-2011, 12:36 AM
In my paperwork, I ask for the parents to list ALL people who have the ability to pick up their child(ren). If someone is not on the list, the child doesn't go with them. If I haven't been informed, the child doesn't go with them.
I would rather keep the child with me (even if I was pissed off, lol) and ask the parent to pay the agreed upon late fee. That way I never have to deal with any kind of abduction or crazy issues!!
PS> no carseat?? picking up a 2 yr old?? I am just shaking my head.

playfelt
12-01-2011, 09:40 AM
Depending on what the late fee is could be why the dad was desparate to find someone - anyone to pick up his child. Better to get the neighbour he barely knows to do it than to pay a dollar a minute for being late when he knows he is stuck in traffic at a point that would normally take him another 20 minutes to get there even without traffic. As we know money speaks to parents both in a good way and a bad way. Safety can trump cost. Many caregivers have a severe late penalty in place to deter lateness but sometimes it just can't be helped. I have a different rate if I get a call from a parent. I also know where each parent works, how far away it is and the route they need to take so if the radio which I have on near hometime for this reason says accident at intersection of or traffic backed up from X RD to Y Rd then I know that parent is going to be legitimately late as compared to late cause they stopped to do errands.

Skysue
12-01-2011, 12:10 PM
Depending on what the late fee is could be why the dad was desparate to find someone - anyone to pick up his child. Better to get the neighbour he barely knows to do it than to pay a dollar a minute for being late when he knows he is stuck in traffic at a point that would normally take him another 20 minutes to get there even without traffic. As we know money speaks to parents both in a good way and a bad way. Safety can trump cost. Many caregivers have a severe late penalty in place to deter lateness but sometimes it just can't be helped. I have a different rate if I get a call from a parent. I also know where each parent works, how far away it is and the route they need to take so if the radio which I have on near hometime for this reason says accident at intersection of or traffic backed up from X RD to Y Rd then I know that parent is going to be legitimately late as compared to late cause they stopped to do errands.

Don't think so! Haven't charged them to date! He wasn't even late thats the weird thing! Also what is more important a few dollars or tramitizing your child and forcing them to go with a complete stranger?

mamaof4
12-01-2011, 05:44 PM
For arguments sake-- my dh was out of town, I had a kidney obstruction and was in the hospital hopped up on drugs, and in a pinch I had to have my neighbor pick up my kids. It was not pre-arranged, but the kids knew the woman very well- and she was one of the 'contacts'. Is this something that would cause issues?

sunnydays
12-01-2011, 07:04 PM
I am assuming that you called the neighbour to have him/her pick up your kids...were you not able to give a quick call to the daycare provider as well? Obviously, if there is not parent able to even call in the case of an emergency, then we would have to allow one of the authorized contacts to pick them up. Thinking about this has made me want to add a section to that authorization section saying that if both parents are unable to call for reasons such as hospitalization, I am allowed to release to the contacts without prior arrangement from the parent...hmmmm...


For arguments sake-- my dh was out of town, I had a kidney obstruction and was in the hospital hopped up on drugs, and in a pinch I had to have my neighbor pick up my kids. It was not pre-arranged, but the kids knew the woman very well- and she was one of the 'contacts'. Is this something that would cause issues?

mom-in-alberta
12-01-2011, 08:27 PM
mamaof4... I would still need to talk to at least ONE of the parents before releasing the kids. In an absolute emergency like this, I would let the kids leave with neighbor lady as soon as either mom or dad had verbally okay-ed it.
I would need to hear it from the parents directly, because as extreme as this could get; many, many abductions are perpetrated by people known to the family. That may be the absolute worst case scenario, but it could happen. And I wouldn't want to have any part in it.

playfelt
12-02-2011, 07:21 AM
My pickup form has the parents list the names and phone numbers of anyone they want to authorize to pick up and I encourage them to list a relative or close friend for times when they might be unable to do the pickup. The page is worded such that I can release the child to anyone on that list. At the same time I would never do it without a call. If someone from the list showed up I would be callling one of the parents before agreeing to release depending on the story the person gave me. I would find it odd that the parent could call the contact and not call me. I have had it the other way around where a parent calls and says they are still in a meeting or got a flat tire and going to be very late and have asked me to call the person on the conact list and see if they could pick up instead.

I agree that abductions by known people is a possibility. At the same time in the grand scheme of parents with flat tires or medical emergencies it is the exception not the rule. Most of my parents know that leaving the child with me in an emergency is actually better because I have everything the child needs and less for them to worry about.

mamaof4
12-02-2011, 08:46 AM
I called the daycare lady but she did not answer and her voice mail box was full.

Momof4
12-02-2011, 11:21 PM
No freaking way! I have contract and medical emergency forms and if I have not met people even though they have been specified on paper I will not release the children unless the parent is on the phone to me at that minute of pickup and giving express permission.

Momof4
12-02-2011, 11:24 PM
In a case of my own illness as you described I would have a family member come immediately to my daycare to care for the children until the parents arrive to pick them up. I hope you feel better quickly.