What do you think?

[Dawn2Dusk]

So I have a daycare family with 2 children in my care 1 year old girl and a three year old boy. They are both delayed for there age but as the little boy has been here a couple months he is now right on track. The little year is 13 months and has been coming here since 10 months and I have seen absolutely no progress. She is spoon fed baby food, the only food she will feed herself are the rice crackers. She doesn't say any words nor does she move in any way. When I first got her at 10 months she could barely sit up now she does sit up but does occasionally fall so you need to have a pillow behind her. When she does fall she can't roll or crawl in any way. She also won't even hold her own bottle.

I have brought it up with the parents and they always say she is lazy which I don't believe I think she has a muscle issue because she has no strength at all. The parents brought her to a doctor and told me they were referred to a pediatrician. Which I didn't even realize they had in Calgary? Anyway the parents told me the pediatrician said she is "just lazy" nothing wrong with her mentally or physically. They said they will bring to physical therapy but otherwise she is fine.

I honestly don't think they are telling me the truth. Does this sound believable to you? If not how would you go about talking to them about it.

[Lee-Bee]

You can't force parents out of denial. The best you can do is gentle prod them towards reality. Continue to work with the child as best you can.

Either the child is just catered to at home and she will eventually catch up, or she is in fact delayed and needs extra help. You can't force the parents to seek that help but can do your best on your end. Use gentle statements to express what you observe but don't be so overt and firm that they shut down.

13 months is still young enough that she can catch up with the right nudging on your part. If she just has no need to roll on her own she won't learn to...it is hard work, who wants to do it when mom and dad will do it for me. I have had a 13 month old start that couldn't support her own weight on her legs. Because she NEVER had to she was carried. Within 4 weeks she was walking...because she saw the other kids doing it and suddenly realized she wanted to. The parents just truly never felt the need to let her. No harm done, the child walks perfectly normal. She just needed to want to.

I would suggest taking notes. Write your observations, note any improvements and great areas of struggle. It may come in handy in the future if the family comes to see a problem.

[MommaL]

Honestly, if it were me, I wouldn't say anything. This is coming from a parent whose own two children were both delayed in their milestones. If I told my DCP that we had looked into it by seeing a doctor, a pediatrician and were planning to seek physical therapy, I'd be pretty upset if the DCP said anything that indicated that she thought were lying. I'm just not sure what reason the parents would have to lie? Plus, since she is only 13 months old, most doctors would be reluctant to diagnose anything and would likely wait until she is around 18 months old to start any sort of therapy (physical therapy, occupational therapy). Hopefully this little girl makes a lot of head way in the next few months. But if not, I'd suggest waiting at least a couple months before bringing it up again.

[Van]

I have seen lazy babies the ones who like to crawl instead of trying to walk and being fed at home so not into holding a spoon , sitting up problems and I have just worked with them and It was such a TRILL when they finally did walk, talk, fed themselves so just know you are doing your part in the process , and it sounds right that they will bring the child to physical therapy - usually there is a long waiting list - I don't think a parent would lie about that

[Suzie_Homemaker]

I had one boy here long time ago sound similar. He was premature birth but only 5 or so week and parent used as reason for be behind. He barely sit up at one year when come for interview. Sweet nature boy but not crawl, speak, walk, or make any attempt. Not even lift arm for pick up which even small children do. I not like use term "bump on log" but it most descriptive for this child.

As time pass I learn that they live in apartment and so no stair which why even when he did start crawl, he not know how use stair. I also learn grandparent look after him before and they over protective and no let him do much for fear he get hurt.

It was lot work. He used to be in room filled with crazy amount toy at home and parent pass him anything he glance at. He never need speak or move to get something himself.

I spend long time getting him walk. Even other children would take his hand and lead up and down hallway. Parent tell me one day that he trip at apartment and then grandmother not let him walk any more but she carry him.

Took lot of conversation with parent to explain that new skill take time to master but more we practice anything, better we get. That he will stumble and fall initially but he will build strength in muscle more he does and that also help make more stable.

I think, because he little early and parent have big scare of uncertain time, that they were very frighten of something happen to him so they made sure to wrap him in bubble. I think they mean well but likely make situation harder. It took about 8 month to get him feeding self, crawling then walking, talking with parent, and lot encouragement but did catch up in end. Then parent leave because child care too expensive and boy go back to grandparent each day.

[Busy ECE mommy]

Keep an eye on development. My guess is the doctors may not really give it a label until the 18 month mark. They're usually looking for non-walkers at that point( if the child hasn't caught up by then) All you can do is put trust in the parents. I've had a child at 15 months still barely able to self-feed/not walking/barely putting weight on legs/not able to hold own sippy cup etc. and then found out from the parents through a conversation 3 months later that they were an attachment parenting family. I had no idea! Child was carried in a sling/spoon fed puree/bottle was held for child etc. That was my AHA moment! You never know what the true cause is. The 15 month and 18 month checkups with the family doc will highlight delays if they still exist at that point. Support the child the best you can. If the family is going to PT/OT, ask for suggestions of what you could replicate at daycare to help.