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View Full Version : That feeling is creeping in again!



mickyc
03-01-2016, 11:29 AM
I don't know if it's the cold weather, the fact I am transitioning a new little one, or having a mid life crisis or what but the urge to quit running daycare is creeping back!

I am not happy, I am not. I have felt worse though! Lol. I just feel like I give give give and there is nothing left at the end of the day. I have a great group, parents are great, new little one is transitioning in nicely but there is still crying. I have another starting in a few weeks and the thought of it makes me cringe! My husbands work is slow, he is not working full hours, I am stressed, his side business is slow going too which is added stress as I am trying to keep him positive (we invested a big chunk of money into his "dream"). We are a busy family and I am feeling burnt out. There is not enough money to take time off, for a mini getaway etc.

I have been browsing the classified ads for jobs. There isn't much out there and to be honest I can't afford to take a minimum wage job. I have been out of the workforce for 6.5 years, I can't really afford to take any courses (and OMG I already have no time). Sigh....

I am just feeling stuck, not sure which way to turn, not really willing to give up anything we have already worked so hard to get.

Anyone else in the same boat??

MsBell
03-01-2016, 11:43 AM
Yep, same boat here. I wake up everyday, and I hate my job, BUT I have two kids that depend on me (I am a single mom, so I have to make a certain amout of money a week, and have the schedule I have now...)I just live for my weekends now. I have some great kids (a couple problem ones too) and decent parents, but I find all the little things really rub me. For example today I have a little guy who is potty training (according to mom, he is doing great at home, here there is no training at all, he cant do his own pants, never intiates, etc) so today he is dropped off, not two minutes later explodes in his pants, he is wearing a cheap pull up, and there is poop dripping down both legs, up his back everywear, I clean him up, guess what....no spare clothes in his bag AGAIN! its the little things that bug me.
I look at job searches too, but the reality, I cant get a job,make the same, get the same tax breaks, be home for my kids etc....
One day I will, but for now, I just plug through one day at a time.....

babydom
03-01-2016, 11:49 AM
Yes. I feel the same. Give give give. And no one seems to want to return the favour and give to me. It's exhausting. I however recognize it's seasonal for me. I hate the winter. Where I live we got 50cm of snow two wks ago, 10cm last wk and 30cm more coming tonight. We are always stuck inside and I hate it. It's soooo lonely. I feel like I want to quit so I can get out. But I know when the spring summer and fall come I'm better. I love my job again because I can be out every day with the kids, seeing friends and doing more. It's not always....wake up, go downstairs, play, eat, nap, dinner, bed, repeat. Some things I do that help me through winter is I try to mix it up a bit. Like bring a water table into the kitchen. Or I bring the Lego bucket up to my big rm and we build up there for a bit. Just a different scenery, It helps a bit. Hang in there and remember.....do what makes u happy, cuz life's to short not to :).

mickyc
03-01-2016, 11:50 AM
I enjoyed it more when my daughter was home but with her in school it just isn't the same. I cannot complain about my kids or families, I am blessed with a good group right now and that is why this feeling is hard. I thought when my 2 hard kids left things would be better, they were for 2 months and boom there that feeling is again! Ugh...

Busy ECE mommy
03-01-2016, 12:22 PM
Totally feeling it too. I've been at this for 8 years, and I feel like I need something more.
Never feel like my time off is restful, so I am constantly feeling burnt out. Challenging clients don't help either. Feel like a need a beach vacay away from the winter!

adaycarelady
03-01-2016, 12:51 PM
I've been feeling this way for a couple years now but it's getting worse to the point where I lay in bed in the morning and debate closing so I can enjoy the day. I never do close and get up at the last minute. I know I need more time off but can't afford it either.

What helps me is figuring out what to do next in life while still running the daycare. It makes me feel less 'stuck'. I also check the local job postings but can never find something I'd actually enjoy more than doing daycare that pays better. The tax writeoffs make daycare worth it. I've had minimum wage jobs before and they work you to the bone to the point where you are almost running around for 8 hours. I did hotel room cleaning and they give you about 15 rooms! At least with daycare I can take my breaks as needed. I have come to the conclusion that another business is what's best for me. I want to start making bath bombs. It won't be a full-time income but might help me afford to take more much needed holidays.

Is there anything you can do online from home? Like web design or create a website that generates a bit of income? That's also my plan. If I can create a website that sells some kind of monthly service for $5-$10 per month it will help my vacation fund. Or help me quit daycare once it gets popular lol. I designed my own daycare website. I recommend hostgator.com. If you're not into web design, what about graphic or logo design? I wrote some articles on fiverr and made about $100 bucks last year. I hope to write an ebook soon. You can self-publish your ebooks on amazon.ca. I know you said you have no time, but if you watch some educational videos here and there on youtube during your daycare hours you'll slowly learn other things to help generate more income.

One more thing that helps is baking. I don't mean with the kids cuz that's more work. I just made some bread today and it really helped lift the spirits. I just let the kids play on their own while I tried to enjoy 15 mins of some "me time". Try to sneak in some "me time" during the day. I even pluck my eyebrows and it really helps lift my spirits. I've been running my daycare almost 7 years and being able to do things like bake is really what has helped me prevent complete burnout.

5 Little Monkeys
03-01-2016, 01:28 PM
Sorry to hear that some of you are struggling!! This job isn't as easy as some think (the amount of hdc's that open and close within a year is amazing) and it's definitely not for everyone! I have felt this way with my job that was in healthcare and it is a horrible feeling. I used to imagine getting into a car accident on my way to work...nothing major!! Just a little one that would put me off for a week or so...maybe a broken arm or something lol. It was bad!!

I knew from very early on that opening a hdc was my dream and I am so happy that I have been able to do that. It's hard at times but when I stop and think about it, there is no other job I'd rather do. I sometimes wonder if that makes a difference for burn out in this career...those who do this because it's their passion vs those who open one up to stay home with their own children (nothing wrong with that btw!) but it makes me wonder how long those providers stay in business after their children are in school and all grown up.

I am very passionate about my career and think that our clients deserve the very best of us. This doesn't mean we can't have an "off" day every now and than but I do think that if we are no longer invested in our hdc, it's time to consider something different. It's not fair to anyone IMO. Life is too short and we should all be doing something that makes us happy, contributes to our life, makes a difference and is just an overall good thing :)

Money issues can be fixed but I find a lot of the times, it's a budget issue and not a money issue (obviously not for everyone). You have to make a list of the pros and cons of your job and evaluate what is important in your life. If having toys and extra things are more important than your happiness than that's your priority but you will have to work long and hard hours to support that lifestyle. There are so many ways that most of us can cutback on to make extra money but it's work!! For myself, my goal is always to save money on groceries and make things homemade....I slip up ALL the time lol.

My husband and I just recently decided that having our own kids is likely not going to happen. We know that our finances are fine right now but they'd be stretched if we had a child and for us, that's not what we want and not the lifestyle we want. I've lived paycheque to paycheque and I don't want to go back to that. Our lifestyle choices are something that we've decided are a priority for us over having our own children. Since deciding that, I've been so much happier and less stressed. Sometimes we need to sit down and think hard about where our life is going and take action!! I hope you all can figure out something that works for you and brings you peace :)

mickyc
03-01-2016, 01:39 PM
I do a few things on the side to bring in some extra cash. My husband switched jobs a few times last year and finally found a place in our city that he loves.....except it is a seasonal place and even though he is kept on all winter his hours are down, last week he had 2 days off. He started a business on the side and it is slow going. We have a few trade shows booked to sell both of the things we make. The long term plan is for his business to expand to the point where I can run his business on the front end plus do my other stuff on the side. It may or may not ever happen but that is the goal. That is why I am hesitant to quit daycare as I could end up putting more strain on our finances. My heart is just not in it anymore. I am not giving it my all, I am no longer providing the program I once did.

I did come across a job I might apply for. It pays $34,000 a year. I am just not sure if that's what I need (I likely wouldn't get it anyways). The saying "the grass isn't always greener on the other side" keeps coming to my mind.

Just feeling stuck

5 Little Monkeys
03-01-2016, 03:18 PM
Yes, that's a good saying! That's why a list of pros and cons sometimes helps as we see on paper how great (or not so great!) we have it!

That sounds like a good goal in regard to the businesses. I hope it comes true for you one day :)

Van
03-01-2016, 03:50 PM
Why not try for the job Mickyc as you just might get it and there is no harm in trying - if you don't get it then you can tell yourself you tried and the interview will be just practise for the real job that you will go for and get ....as you only need one job to move on.
I have being doing this job for 13 years and I still love it , but we are human so we have off days now and then and today is a rainy day in BC so I will allow myself to have an off day today.
writing down the pros and cons sounds like a great idea 5lm for anyone to double check on if it is time to move on to an job outside of home and I praise everyone for being honest with themselves in this job - as it is a hard job when you don't like it anymore

5 Little Monkeys
03-01-2016, 09:57 PM
I also say apply for the job! Apply for many jobs, even if you don't really want it. With being out of the workforce for so long, the interviewing process will be good for you so that when a job you REALKY want comes along, you will feel more confident in your interview skills!

Good luck!

bright sparks
03-02-2016, 06:39 AM
I think the isolation takes a toll. Pair that with the typical Canadian winter and the joys of "cabin fever" and it can really take a toll. List of pros and cons wouldn't work for me. I can talk myself in and out of anything. Plus, a pro would be money, but money can't buy happiness.

I have been so happy since going to school. That getting up and going out of the house and the socializing that comes with it has really helped pull me out of a slumber. Now I am opening my daycare again out of financial necessity, I have to make previsions to prevent this from being a slippery slope. I love the program I offer and the children when I have a good group bring me great joy, but the lack of mental stimulation and social interaction is a killer for me. I did this for 10 years and will likely complete my undergrad over the next 3 years simultaneous to running the daycare but I'll be going to at least one night school class a semester in the hopes of avoiding getting stuck again.

It doesn't sound like you have much time mickyc to do anything for yourself. Is that maybe something you can address? Sounds like you are a full time caregiver to the daycare kids and your own children in addition to the pressure of having multiple jobs. I know that feeling and it doesn't leave much time to look after yourself.

mickyc
03-02-2016, 02:43 PM
Yes I think I will apply. I actually found a second job I want to apply for.

I think I am feeling under under stimulated mentally. I have enjoyed doing things for my husbands business- creating documents, invoices, templates. I am tired of whining, crying, poopy diapers, kids songs, cartoons, arts & crafts, wiping pee off the floor by the toilet, cooking, cleaning, etc! I know it will likely take awhile to find a job but that's ok. I will miss wearing comfy clothes, not having to drive to work in winter, all the tax write offs.

Van
03-02-2016, 03:58 PM
Sounds like it is a good time to try for that job and tell us if / when you get a job
Good luck :)

adaycarelady
03-03-2016, 08:55 AM
There are lots of businesses that want documents, invoices and templates done over the internet. Maybe you could try and get some online work for now til you find something permanent? They call them virtual assistants. It's something you could even work on during daycare hours. I know it's easier said than done. I planned on working on my ebook during daycare hours but I'm just not in that 'mood'. When the kids are around I feel drained and unmotivated and I find myself just waiting for the day to be over. But I am trying to force myself to do a little bit here and there and it makes me feel better once I get a bit done. Even if it's just researching.

bright sparks
03-03-2016, 10:09 AM
One thing I find helps is a structured day. I find I have the biggest issue with this feeling if the day is just free play. I chunk the day up into specific time slots and decide what we are doing at those times. It doesn't mean that it's a big activity like an art and craft requiring lots of prep, but maybe an adult led group activity, like only having the blocks out and playing together as a group to build a big tower. This is a good activity for a 20 minute block. Or maybe a sensory pack goes in the sensory table and the kids all play with that. This could last a good 30 minutes. It makes the day go much quicker too. Additionally, I schedule my break time so that I'm not spending to much time surfing versus getting things done. I have to manage my schedule pretty tightly now that I have a study timetable to stick to, but I'll be also giving myself 1 day a week to veg out, catch up on tv etc. This way I get through the day quickly and positively rather than just dreading the day by 9am. Small blocks of time, 20-30 minutes for indoor activities, longer outdoor garden playtime period but then maybe setting up activity stations and having them switch every 15-20 minutes, and then a period of free play. My group has free play from drop off at 7:30 until 9 when my kids have gone off to school and then again from 3:45-5pm. This way they develop the independent skills and don't need me to be able to play, but then the rest of the day wizzes by because its never that long till we have a change up to keep things moving along nicely.

5 Little Monkeys
03-03-2016, 02:17 PM
I agree with bright. Free play is great and awesome and definitely needed BUT I prefer a more structured day. Even during structured/planned activities, free play occurs but the schedule of it helps ME feel better. It makes me feel like I did a good job today and that I accomplished something.

I am constantly planning, pinning, researching things for daycare. It over stimulates me sometimes lol...so much so that I dream about my dck's way too often! My brain never shuts dc stuff off haha

XIAO
05-04-2020, 11:54 PM
do you mind sharing how long have your been opening your daycare? I am newly licensed and I am already feeling exhausted....