Help please!!

[littlesprouts]

So this week I began caring for a little boy 3 days per week from 12pm-7pm. Yes odd hours I know, but I am use to working evenings as I worked in nursing previously. Anyways, I had a VERY VERY bad day with him on Friday. So his first day, he bit my oldest daughter because she had a toy he wanted. I know he is delayed in speech and had expected that kind of behavior. But friday he was playing with my 11 month old and they were doing fine. I went to grab the snack from the fridge, and within seconds I heard a skreeching cry coming from my daughter. I ran to see him gripping my daughters face and shoving her backwards. My daughter was bleeding and had huge chunks taken out of her cheeks. I quickly picked her up and took him by the hand and walked him to the time out spot. I told him that we do not hurt other people and we keep our hands to ourselves. I had him sit on time out for 2 minutes (hes almost 2). Obviously I was very very upset and I wanted to call his parents and ask them to bring him home right away. But I didnt and made sure to closely keep an eye on him the rest of the day. I caught his hand 3 times as he was about to slap my daughter in the face. My question is how would you deal with that? Would you terminate? I will have a child younger than my daughter in May. And I don't know what I would do if he did that to another child.

I should also add his drop off time being not good to begin with, they have let him nap in the car every day so far and then naps he just screams at the top of his lungs because he doesnt want to sleep anymore. The first two days I went in calmed him and then left and he fell asleep relatively fast. But Friday I think they drove around for awhile as they asked to drop off earlier and then ended up here at the regular drop off. He screamed for over an hour. (yes I went in to reassure him several times). But like my children, if they fall asleep in the car even for 5 minutes nap time is a bust.

What do I do? I'm seriously in tears looking at my poor daughters face.

[babydom]

Yes!! I do not tolerate that aggressive behaviour. I would term on the spot. And if that was my daughter, mom would have been called right then and child gone!!!

I also do not take a child in that can not come in and follow our schedule. He must come in ready for nap if he's been dropped off at nap otherwise he doesn't come at that time. It's not fair to me and the kids who all just had a busy morning and looking forward to a quiet break afternoon.

[littlesprouts]

I wanted to send him home right then and there. I really did. It's my second week providing daycare. And I use to work with very aggressive Alzheimer's patients. I guess I doubted my extincts and was afraid that it was expected of me to be able to deal with behaviors like that. I was contemplating giving this week a go and seeing if things improve because I know it takes about 2 weeks for children to really settle in... but I just keep thinking what if that had been another child other than my own? I know if I had my daughters in daycare and they came home looking like that I would tear my daycare provider a new one. I can't even look at my daughters face without wanting to cry. I quit my job to stay home with them. And I feel like I'm doing a worse job then someone else would.

[babydom]

Honestly if it were me I'd call mom and say hes termed and not welcomed back. But that's just me. Lol

[BlueRose]

I would terminate now. First your child is being violently acted in her own home. I place that is supposed to be safe. 2nd you will loss client's if he does this to other children. Your other clients might also go a step farther after terminating care and call CAS or the police, since you allow their child to be in an unsafe environment. I know as a parent I would make the call if my child came home from daycare with a chuck missing from her face (or elsewhere on her body). This child is a liability to your business and a safety threat.

Yes, you could keep this child close and work with him. But that will take a lot of your attention away from your other children and could cause you lots of unnecessary stress

At the end of the day its up to you if you want to terminate or work with the child. Personally I wouldn't take the risk of keeping him in my care.

[BlueRose]

Our jobs are to keep the child in our care safe. Not to deal with violence behaviour. The fact that you are willing to ask for advice, means your doing a good job. We all go have had times when things have gone horribly wrong. But as long as we learn from these issues and make sure they don't get repeated we can say we are doing a good job.

[babydom]

Oh gosh....yes never thought about cas. Good pt blue rose. Please term this boy!!

[Suzie_Homemaker]

If anyone else come into your house and treat your family this way, you be okay with it? For me, our home is somewhere my family feel safe. It our home first and I happen run business from it. If I was hairdresser with basement salon and someone come in and be aggressive to my family, I would not tolerate it. Just because this happen to be client or child, that not make it okay.
You say you quit your job to be home with your children but that not mean having accept poor behaviour or allowing your child be tormented and abused in her safe place.
You have two options :-
1. Terminate care
2. That child not leave your side since not trustworthy while you decide if he manageable or not. Bear in mind you intervene several time when he went to slap your girl. If you not able to keep him with you at all times, then he has to go.

[bluebirdfollower]

Please terminate this child ASAP before something more serious happens. I know you mean well but it's at your daughters/other childrens expense and that's not fair to them. Realistically you can't always keep an eye on him and if you did that would take your attention away from all the other children.

This kid bit your daughter, took a chunk out of her cheek and attempted to slap her not once but multiple times, why are you questioning terminating? The answer is obvious!

The poster above is correct. If a parent calls CAS and they figure out this child had a history of violent behaviors they will question your judgment as a provider and a parent and that is something you do not want! Trust me I have seen it happen to a local provider and it was heart breaking.

I am not trying to come across as rude but please terminate this child!

[Busy ECE mommy]

Between the behaviour issues and screaming during nap time, I'd let him go. All children need to feel emotionally and physically safe in your care, whether it be your child or someone else's. If you need to "shadow" a child like that to prevent issues, that has now become 1-1 care, and that's not feasible in our business. I would have terminated on the spot, with a phone call to parents to do an early pickup, and be gone. Biting can be normal in toddlers, especially in speech delays, but drawing blood over a sharing issue elevates it to a whole different level. I would have emailed the parents a pic of my child's bloody face. Keep a picture of the injury for your own sake. It wouldn't be the first time an angry parent calls CAS because they were terminated!
Do you write up detailed accident reports when an injury happens? I always do if it leaves a mark, or is a frequently occurring aggressive behaviour, and then I get the parents to sign it. Cover your butt on this one! Zero tolerance here for incidents that draw blood intentionally.

[littlesprouts]

So I was pretty sure what the answers would be. And I'm glad the CAS issue was brought up too. I hadn't thought of that. I think I was looking for validation that my first instinct was correct and that I wasn't in the wrong to say he had to go. So now my dilemma is... how do I go about terminating? Obviously in writing. But how should I word it?

[babydom]

Due to aggressive behaviors towards myself and my daughter resulting in drawing blood and leaving marks on my daughters face, I will be terminating your child effectively immediately.

Then ad in what ur contact says if any money paid not refunded, etc. Send a text or email or call however u talk with her, today telling her child is termed immediately and to please come pick up the termation letter Monday morning.

[Suzie_Homemaker]

Due to repeated aggression towards other children, I am terminating care, effective immediately. Unfortunately, this is not something I am willing to work with in a group care environment were several children are present vs one-on-one corrective behaviour.

[Lee-Bee]

Biting at this age is one thing (and quite common) but to bite and break skin (or remove chunks which i really, really hope was an exaggeration ) is another thing. It takes a good amount of anger and strength to break skin.

I think the ladies above have given sound advise. I hope the termination goes smoothly for you. I would suggest documenting any incidents (like those you mentioned in original post) so you have it on file should you need it.

This child is NOT suited for group care in a home with one adult.

[mickyc]

Let us know how you make out!!

[Crayola kiddies]

I always to terminations in person and then hand them a letter for their records