Preschooler on formula

[Busy ECE mommy]

I have an almost 3 yr old who is still on formula, and I mean high volumes like you'd feed an infant. The child weighs more than my kids did at 4.5 yrs and eats everything I serve. There is no allergy issue either. My fees are tiered, so as they age, my fees reduce. The child is now at the cheapest fee bracket. The problem is the parents still expect me to measure/mix this formula, and quite frankly, I don't feel I should have to do this at this age. Would it be rude to tell them to prepare it themselves?
Can I ask them to phase out the formula, and go with water or milk? I've never seen anything like this before...

[bright sparks]

WOWZER!!

Have you ever asked them why they give their child formula versus cows milk? This kid is gonna have rotten teeth given that formula is full of sugar! I would feel around for the why of things and then suggest a transition to dairy or other alternative and cite your reasoning as you are somewhat concerned at the volume they are taking in and the effect it may have on their teeth given the sugar content. Hype it up additionally by saying it would be a huge money saver and better for them to be on cows milk. Milk is a food not a beverage which is why I do not offer milk with a meal at any age. If this kid is on full table food and isn't a fussy eater all this is going to do is make the kid fat!...Not sorry, it is fact! Maybe this child gives them grief at home and that is why they won't wean them off or perhaps the milk is a comfort and they again are to busy to put in the work to teach self soothing which doesn't surround food.

[Lee-Bee]

Sounds like maybe they are afraid to make changes...'if it ain't broke don't fix it' kind of mentality?

You need to decide how much it bothers/concerns you.

You can tell them if you still have to prep and serve bottles then their child stays at the price point of the infants that actually require bottles. You can just refuse to serve them anymore. Or you can just roll with it.

I would suggest a flat out meeting to ask WHY. They may very well have a reason that make sense. Or, they may just be scared to change etc. See if you can tackle the issue there before making changes. If they are not on board with a cold turkey approach suggest starting to wean off by doing part formula part milk for a while and slowly lessen the formula in the mix until it is straight milk. But, even there it is still not appropriate for a 3yr old. I personally don't like serving more than a bit of milk in a cup a day. They get enough dairy through their meals and snacks and they should be getting enough vitamin D through sunshine so we don't need to drown kids in milk. It just makes them not need to eat (tummy is full) and therefore allows them to be picky.

[mickyc]

I had this issue once. I just weaned the child off here and didn't mom

I then added it to my contract that no more bottles/soothers at daycare past 18 months. There done! Fixed any future problems. Now I find any new kids coming in seem to be weaned off both before they start or are given it at home only.

[Crayola kiddies]

I don't do bottles at all unless the child is under 9 months or for a medical reason

[Busy ECE mommy]

They say they like the vitamins in the formula. The problem is they use it as backup when he gets picky at home, so sometimes it's a total meal replacement at home. Not here though-I make him eat full meal before he gets it. I might add, it's given in an open cup-not a sippy or bottle.

[MommaL]

I guess I do things differently. While I may not always agree with the decisions that other parents make, I also don't feel it's up to me to question them unless it affects me or the daycare significantly. Something like this likely wouldn't personally affect me. It only takes a minute to mix formula together. I don't see it as an inconvenience or something that takes too much time. That being said, if it did come up and depending on what the parent said is the reason for still giving formula, I might ask if they have talked to their doctor, naturopath or nutritionist about it.

But to answer the original poster, I don't think it's rude to ask the parents to bring the formula already mixed if that's your preference.

[Kath]

He'd probably eat more if he didn't have it. It would save you money to keep him on it. Lol. Okay, I'm kidding. No one wants to see a preschooler stuck and unable to move on.
Asking why is good. Phasing it out would likely be helpful - like the others have said. Clearly these parents haven't read the ingredients in formula. Yikes!

[5 Little Monkeys]

I'm like you mommaL, I likely wouldn't say too much as it's not my child, not my decision IMO. I would probably ask why though as they might have a good reason...or at least throw it out there so that they know that it's quite uncommon for a child his age to be on formula still.

[bright sparks]

I'm like you mommaL, I likely wouldn't say too much as it's not my child, not my decision IMO. I would probably ask why though as they might have a good reason...or at least throw it out there so that they know that it's quite uncommon for a child his age to be on formula still.

I would never tell a parent what to do, but as a caregiver I feel a duty to the child and their best interests. To simply ignore this issue because it doesn't really effect me is besides the point. It effects the child. Ultimately my hands are tied, but doing nothing is part of the problem because for all anyone knows, this is something the parent deep down knows to be an issue but either doesn't know any better, has been given poor advice or is struggling to get a handle of. Are we not obligated as caregiver of this child to do what's in their best interest? Even if it means having a sometimes difficult conversation with a parent? It's not a case of TELLING a parent what to do, but investigate, ask questions, offer resources etc. That's not overstepping the mark if you ask me, that is collaborative care which is what I see this daycare gig being. To do nothing is an injustice. If this parent thinks that the child is being served better nutritionally via formula and we know better, shouldn't we offer some resources for them to investigate further. At the end of the day it may not make the parent change, but I'd do everything I could and I would sleep better at night knowing I'd tried my best for the child.

[5 Little Monkeys]

I get what you're saying but in a case like this, the parents think they ARE doing what's best for their child. It's a difference of opinion IMO.

I would ask why they still use formula but ultimately, it's up to them when to stop giving it.

[Lee-Bee]

There is nothing wrong with a caregiver telling the parents of a 3yr old "I am no longer comfortable serving formula to your child while in my care, my understanding of the nutrition requirements for preschoolers is that formula simply fills their tummy preventing them from eating healthier options blah blah blah".

I think it is a combination of the two thoughts here. While we cannot dictate how parents raise their children we are in a position to present information in an open, nonjudgmental way. From there they are open to do as they please with that information.

At the same time, we are home based care providers can pick and chose who we have in our care and if we are finding that parents are raising their children in a very different way than we are comfortable with we can give notice to end care. The way they raise their children does impact our daycare and therefore ourselves so there are plenty of cases where there just isn't a good fit.

Whether or not giving formula in place of real food at the age of 3 fits this situation is for the OP to determine. In the least the caregiver can set the limits they are comfortable with, preferably after open dialogue with the family to come to mutual terms (even if that is just both sides being more informed and continuing as is).

Obviously if we chose to be very picky about how parents are raising there kids we run the risk of having empty places in our daycares...but again that is up to us.

This situation could very well just be misguided nervous parents. Formula companies make a toddler line of formula for these specific parents. They advertise their formula for these specific families. And with all the talks and concerns about getting a well balanced diet and all the vitamins and minerals etc a parent to a picky (at home) child truly can feel that they are doing best by their child by providing formula.

[MommaL]

This situation could very well just be misguided nervous parents. Formula companies make a toddler line of formula for these specific parents. They advertise their formula for these specific families. And with all the talks and concerns about getting a well balanced diet and all the vitamins and minerals etc a parent to a picky (at home) child truly can feel that they are doing best by their child by providing formula.

I think this is exactly what is happening with these parents. They are likely worried that their little guy isn't getting enough vitamins or nutrients. Or perhaps he doesn't like cow's milk, so they want him to have the calcium that comes in toddler formula. They probably just need some reassurance that he's doing ok or given other options for incorporating vitamins into his diet. In this case, I would use my own experience when talking to the parents. I may something like "I was worried that DD wasn't getting enough nutrients when she was younger too, especially since she never liked cow's milk. I found that talking to a nutritionist really helped". This way I'm putting the idea in their head without making them feel like I'm questioning their decisions. But in the end, I would respect whatever they decided. While giving formula may not be something that I would give to my own 2-3 year old, the fact that there is formula specially for this age group tells me that there are a lot parents who obviously do.