Huge sign on my forehead reading "please treat like sh*t"

[littlesprouts]

So I just opened the end of February after deciding I did not want to go back to nursing and would rather be at home to prepare my kids for school and absorb the little time I have that they will need me. Anyways, we live across from a close friend of my husbands. He is married and has two kids. His wife... While I have tried... Is not the easiest to get a long with. She has been catered to her whole life and has this the world owes me attitude constantly.

Anyways, they were struggling financially and her sick mother agreed to watch her kids for her. They have been bugging me for awhile to provide care for them seen as its across the street and very convenient. I have said no many many times for fear of mixing "friendships" with business. Anyways her mom is struggling so I agreed to watch them 2 days a week until I'm full.

We are 2 months in and while mostly things have been going smoothly... Last week she tells me she's not sending her oldest this week. I quickly messaged her explaining pay is by enrolment not attendance and she still has to pay for the week. She said ok, sent pay late, after I'm sure arguing with her hubby over it. Then last night she showed up 30 mins late because and I quote "I had to poo so I got off the bus early at my friends". What in the hell. Her mother was across the street with her oldest. So if she knew she was late she easily could have walked to my door and picked her up. Instead she chose to message me at pick up. With a ridiculous excuse.

Am I wrong to feel like I'm being disrespected? This women has taken advantage of us for many things. Her daughter choked at their place one night and we saw the ambulance so told them if they need anything to let us know. She made my husband go get her a Big Mac then complained we didn't bring her whole family any (they were at home. Never went to the hospital). She's made my husband go take out her garbage because her husband was sick and she was too tired. It's our stupidity for those things for not just saying no. But I was hoping if I stood up for myself she would smarten up. Turns out I just owe her even more apparently. Grrr.

[Suzie_Homemaker]

I find we teach people who treat us by what we allow. Had this woman called me and said she was going to be late, I would say "see your Mum in a couple mins then". I abuse after the fast food run would be end of it for me. A polite no at every request will eventually send message. Sent bill for extra time.

[Lee-Bee]

I agree with Suzie if we allow these people to walk all over us we can't blame them when they trample us. If you KNOW she is using you stop allowing her to. End of story.

You were right to tell her you can't mix friendship with business...you were wrong to then take in her children.

Put the walls up and close the doors. Stand firm and regain control.

[babydom]

Ya that's hard u sound like me haha. I always want to help and show love and be nice. But I have learnt that myself and my family comes first and I won't b a door mat anymore. I start saying no. It's hard and sometimes I break but u just have to try hard and stick to no exspecially to those stupid little requests like Big Macs. Lol.

[Van]

I think you will suddenly have a full daycare
she is not a friend just someone who lives across the road from you
need to set boundary lines fast
Good Luck

[Kath]

You are right in feeling disrespected. Some people feel like everyone "owes them something" - it seems like these neighbours fit that description. I'm struggling to deal with a family like that. Either terminate or get really good at saying no (I'm getting so much better!). I gave up my classroom teaching to soak up this precious time with my kids too. While we certainly meet our fair share of "turkeys" in this business, it's still worth it.
Hugs.