Potty training and threats from mom

[Dawn2Dusk]

Hi ladies,

I am in desperate need of advice, in my contract I have that kids need to be 2 weeks accident free before they can go pull u free. I have one daycare girl who signed on with me last year when I first opened. I absolutely love her and her parents are always raving how this is the only dayhome she has ever liked and how they love it here.

Well since potty training has started I'm feeling a huge amount of disrespect from the mom. First they tried to start 3 months ago and the child pood and rubbed in all over the floor. So they gave up and have just re started this month. The mom requested at the start of April that she come pull up free since she will just pee in a pull up. I said okay I would give it a try. she had one accident the first week, one the second week and one so far this week.

This week she was running around and didn't even notice so it made a huge mess. then today at nap time she peed in her pull up that I only put on for nap time and then rubbed it all over the sheets.

The mom and I got in a fight last night because I said i would like to try her in pull ups to see what happen/if she will tell me she has to go pee because right now she doesn't. I put her on the potty in the morning, before nap and after nap and she will just hold it for hours. The mom said okay if you put her in pull ups we will find another dayhome. I said okay ill consider this your notice.

She then called me and we talked it out and i said i would try pull up free a bit longer. Since then dshe has said some thing to me that are getting on my nerves. Like of course its different when other kids that aren't yours pee everywhere.... my son isn't even potty trained and i would not allow that to happen as it is a health risk for the other kids.

Then today at pick up when i told her about her daughter smearing poo everywhere her reply was atleast she didn't have an accident.

I told her to call me tonight and i have no idea what to say. clearly she thinks she is calling the shots so i feel like i need to let her go. But on the othe hand i love her daughter a lot....

Help!!!!

[bright sparks]

Only 1 accident each week for three weeks sounds like no big deal to me. The pooping is obviously an issue but that was then not now so why is it still coming up? Are her once weekly accidents poos or pees?

[5 Little Monkeys]

If she knew your potty training policy before starting with you, than this is on her. Everyone has the right to do what they feel is best but I don't think parents should try to change the policies once signed on. If she doesn't want to follow your policy than let her go. She will most likely pull this "threat" move again when something occurs that she doesn't agree with and you don't deserve to have such a client.

I don't mind if a parent questions me, my approaches or policies. It's how we understand things, by asking for clarification. If they don't like it, we can have a discussion but I wouldn't be happy with a "change your ways or we're leaving" attitude. Most times we can come to a mutual decision or compromise and move forward

[Suzie_Homemaker]

Stick to your contract. If you don't, parent think everything in it is guideline not rule based on your own action. If something in your contact that you not feel able to stick to, take it out.

Be firm with Mom. You have policy for reason. She was aware of policy. This what work for you in group care. If Mom not like, she have two option. Book leave and toilet train herself, using her method, or hand notice and go somewhere with policy she do like. But in group care, poop and pee in house, regardless of which child did it, it hygiene issue.

[mickyc]

I have the same policy.

I have had an exception to the rule though so not every child can follow the policy.

I have been training a boy for the past 8-9 months in pull-ups as per my contract. We were making zero progress. I finally told mom I wanted to just try underwear. I said if too many accidents we would go back to pull-ups. The first week was an accident daily and from then on an accident a week. I didn't go back to pull-ups! He is now fully trained other than will not tell me he needs to go. I just send him at 9, 10:15, 12:30 and 3. We still have the odd accident but maybe one every few weeks.

I also don't have carpet so easier to clean. Maybe leave in undies and send to the bathroom more often.

[Van]

You don't need threats from Mom and you don't need poo in your carpets
I would remind her that the pull ups need to be on as she is playing with the poo and you can't have that happening for hygiene reasons

[Kath]

A child who plays with their poo and smears it everywhere is not (accidentally or not) is not ready to ditch the pull ups at daycare. Okay to take those risks at home, not when other kids are around. Totally agree. Stick to your contract. You move on one item and they may take you for a ride.