DCB refuses to sit for timeout

[MommaL]

Has anyone had a child who would not cooperate with timeouts? I have a 3 year old boy who refuses to sit (or stay sitting) for a timeout. He gets off the chair and will try running away. I have tried sitting on the chair with him or holding him, but he suddenly has superhero strength and squeezes and pushes himself out of my arms. Before I know it, it's a full blown tantrum; everyone is upset and exhausted and the boy no longer remembers the reason for the timeout in the first place. It's just not working and if anything, the behaviour he displays during the timeout is worse than the behaviour that caused the timeout. Now I should mention that this boy is normally a very sweet and loveable kid. It's rare that he even does anything to require a timeout. Perhaps this is even part of the reason why he becomes so upset by them. I'm just not sure what to do going forward. I'm planning to talk to his parents to see what they do at home. But am wondering if others have any suggestions or experiences to share?

Edited to add: I have considered getting rid of the timeout altogether for this boy or changing it somehow to find something that will work better for him (e.g. a different location). But then I worry what might happen if it's not consistent amongst all the kids.

[babydom]

I don't use a chair for this reason they just get off. I use a "spot/area". In my home it's my bottom step. I sit them there but it's the general area. If they get off onto the floor and throw their fit, if they go up the two steps to the landing and throw their fit all good because that's the area for it! Never never hold a child on time out or stay with him or even look at him it will defeat the purpose. It's not a time out if he's being held down and talked to. Just plop him down and go. If he gets up u say no and put him back. Keep putting him without saying anything. The time out timer starts when he stays put. It may take a few try's of u bringing him back. But if u stay consistent he'll eventually get it and stay there. Good luck!!!

[Van]

it sound like timeout turns into a battle of wills with this boy so it may work better if you just remove him from the area he is not managing in as you don't need a battle for time out

[Lee-Bee]

What is the reason for the time outs he does get?

I would try just sending him off. "oh, you are not playing nicely you need to leave the block area" "oh, you threw the book, you need to choose a new area to play in you cannot stay in the book area when you behave that way". His punishment is just not being allowed to continue doing what he was doing. "If you can't keep your hands to yourself you will have to go play on your own". I find giving this type of warning when you sense things are about to go amiss not only give them the chance to change their behavior...but gives them the ownership when you then remove them a minute later because they didn't change their behavior. "You didn't keep your hands to yourself so now you have to go play by yourself like I just warned you".

If the child very rarely gets in trouble then it can be really distressing when they are corrected for bad behavior. It means a lot more to them than the child that is constantly being in trouble. The time out may just be too severe/hard a punishment for him emotionally. He still needs to have consequences but something that he learns from but doesn't escalate the issues to an extreme with benefit everyone (especially you).

My daughter would so not handle a time out on a chair. She is sent to her bed. Her bed is her safe zone, it has her special bears and blankies. She goes up losing it and bawling her head off...and this continues for a bit but when she is ready to calm herself she has her special things and she has her space to decompress. Then I go in and set her free. It isn't really a "time out" but removing her from the situation due to her behavior until she is ready to come back and try again. No audience also helps end things quickly for her!

[5 Little Monkeys]

When they're young or new with me, I do what I call a "time away". If they're misbehaving they are removed from that situation and put in a new one. If the behaviour continues than they get a time out. It's just on the floor in the hallway or beside me if we're outside or on an outing. They can either sit or stand, doesn't matter to me.

Some children don't do well with time outs though and for those ones, I've had to find something that was special to them and use it. For one, it was sitting in a pink chair instead of green at the table. If she misbehaved, she had to sit on a green chair for snack/lunch/art etc. Currently, I have a boy that will loose his blanket at nap (he gets a dc one instead) if he misbehaves. I find these SO much harder to do than a timeout because I feel like a big meanie but timeouts just don't get the same result for them as others

Good luck!! Be firm and consistent and he will most likely learn to stay on timeout....but if not, try another technique :)