Chatty parent makes late closure

[Busy ECE mommy]

I have all my parents picking up in the last 10-15mins before I close. They all want a synopsis of their child's day(even though it is all in the communication books) So basically I have the first parent show up and want to chat for 10 mins, then all the others can't speak to me until closing. So basically, the last parent isn't out of here til 15 mins after I close. Sooooo frustrating, as I have appointments/kids lessons scheduled right after I close, and I'm often late.
I'm putting out a newsletter this week, and want to be firm with all parents that I close at xxxpm, and please respect my time too. Is there a polite way to put this?

Also, my second issue is that pickup is done outside in the backyard. When I have several parents overlap, it always seems that one of the kids turns into a holy terror, while I speak to another parent. The kicker is that the terror child's parent is in the yard too, watching all the behaviour happen, and just stands there as I run over from the parent I was talking to, to discipline. Do you make parents responsible for their own kids if they are in the pickup area? Or should I only let one in at a time? I just don't want to be stuck past closing because of doing one at a time. Help please????

[Snowmom]

Do I make parents responsible for their child when they are present? Absolutely yes!

I would write up an addendum that would need to be signed and returned stating:

Subject: Closing Time

Effective immediately, a $1 per minute late fee will apply to any families still present after my 5pm closing time.
I am happy to touch base with you if you feel the need to discuss any issues pertaining to your child's care, but it must be done within the hours of Xam-Xpm. Please allow yourself adequate time upon arrival to gather your child, their belongings and any information you need before departing before 5pm.
Also, I'd like to reiterate that when you are on premises, you as the parent are responsible for your child's behavior and any disciplining that may be needed. For the safety of others, please do not allow your child to break house rules or run off unattended and unsupervised.

Signed,
Provider

I wouldn't have any qualms about telling a parent they need to tell their child to listen to the rules or put their child in a timeout. I'd also be scooting them out the door (physically- by arm on shoulder and opening the door for them).

[Van]

Personally I find it easier to be indoors at closing time and I am able to be in control of the situation and just open the door for them while outside I use to find parents loved looking at their child playing and did not want to spoil their fun by saying now we have to go so indoors in better for shorter goodbyes

[Lee-Bee]

Send home a letter stating that due to everyone leaving in the same 10minute period parents will need to refer to their communication book for daily updates. If they have concerns they need to discuss in person the parents can make a note in the communication book for the next morning noting they will arrive at X time to discuss it before the other parents arrive. (obviously establish when they can arrive to discuss matters so they aren't hanging out at random parts of te day!)

Note that will fall courses having started you will be closed at X:XX and leaving the house at X:01 to get your family to their classes in time.

While many families want to connect for that personal touch...it is NOT feasible if all families leave at the same time and it is not fair for you to have to work past your closing time to repeat what you wrote in the books. They will need to arrive early to discuss things before the mad rush occurs.

Odds are when it starts to inconvenience them (instead of you) they won't feel the need to discuss the daily details quite so much .

[mickyc]

All you have to say is day was good/not great (had timeout for hitting, wasn't listening to well today), see you tomorrow!

Make it short and sweet especially if it's written down somewhere for them! Why waste time doing both.

And yes parent is responsible for bad behavior but not all parents realize what is acceptable at your house and what isn't. Step in if you need to and get family on their way

[bright sparks]

I think denying the parent the right to more than a minute chat at the door is a huge shame. However as a busy parent of teenagers with a full week of after school and evening activities, I too do not have the time to be chatting beyond close. I like the posters comment about asking to arrive with adequate time to chat prior to closing, otherwise it will be brief. If they have specific questions, ask them to email. If a parent requires a little more extensive communication then I think that is part of our job and there just need to be strict guidelines to adhere to so it doesn't go into after hours. Charging a late fee is petty in my opinion. SO a parent comes to collect at 5 to 5 and we just so happen to finish chatting at 2 minutes past so they have to pay? Or I cut a parent off at the 5pm mark and say any more communication is at a fee? Sorry that is a provider I wouldn't be happy sending my child to. A little give and take is fine, but ultimatly if a providers policies are being abused then it is up to the provider to nail down the source and fix it. It sounds like the parent doesnt have the understanding of this expectation so why would they consider that it might bother you. If they want to have a written report and verbal at the door, then you need to determine which one works best for you and let everyone know that from now on unless it is serious then the days communication will be in the book and that pickup time needs to be brief due to family commitments. I have a drop off and pick up policy in my contract to avoid any of these issues.

I am the main disciplinary while the child is on my premises. If a child is acting out, they get treated the same regardless of parents present or not. Otherwise they would be on a wrist link by my side until they could be trusted. Outdoor pick ups are nuts in my experience at the best of times. I can not keep a close enough eye on children in a large open space if I am also focusing one on one with a parent or other child. Indoors all sat ready to go at the front door makes things much smoother

[cdngirl]

Although this isn't a direct answer to your questions (which were answered quite well already) here's something to try as an alternative to communication books -
I use texting for little reports during the day, so that prevents the need for me to do the big report at the end of the day. It works well for me as I can also talk about the funny things that happen that I may forget by day's end.
Maybe I have easygoing clients but they are happy with it so it's worked out great.
Some people will be chatty regardless, but at least if they are filled in already by pickup, you can kindly refer them back to info you've already given them. Then move onto to the next person :)

[Busy ECE mommy]

I guess the thing that irks me is that I have appts such as family chiro. and kids lessons booked for 30 mins after I close. Often the commute to get there is 20 mins in traffic within our town, so I'm often late when the parents are chatty, and my kids miss part of their lessons(which are costly) or we miss our chiro appts because they have now closed. When you work a 10 hr day, how are you supposed to get to regular appts? After work is the only option, but most are closed by 5pm.
Just frustrating that's all. Maybe I'll just tell them to check the book. I do have a dropoff/pickup policy, which states 2-3 minutes for dropoff/pickup.

[mickyc]

Just curious what is taking so long to talk about? My parents (who ask) usually just say "good day?" I say yep or if not I will say - we didn't bring our listening ears today, we had a timeout because we were pushing our friends today or we had a potty accident etc. I don't go into full on detail about the whole incident because I have already dealt with it and disciplined accordingly.

In the event something major needs to be addressed I send an email to parent during the day.

[Crayola kiddies]

i do indoor pickups as well and if i have a certain child that doddles because the parent is there such as the child that doesn't want help to put on shoes but takes 15 mins to do themselves when parent is there but when its just us they pop them on in secs then i have the child ready to do with shoes and coat on so when parent comes in and i say we had a great day no problems ..then the parent usually says have a good night and see you tomorrow ...and off they go.....this is also good for the child that doesnt want to leave, or wants the parent to see them throw the ball/push the car/bounce on the spring horse ect ...i have a gate at the entrance and its easy to segregate the leaving child from the others ......if the child is misbehaving ..and the parent doesnt do anything or thinks its cute then i do say something to both child and parent

[Busy ECE mommy]

All of my parents verbally want the full details of all meals/toileting/sleep/behaviour etc. even if it's in the book, so it's not always quick.

[Lee-Bee]

All of my parents verbally want the full details of all meals/toileting/sleep/behaviour etc. even if it's in the book, so it's not always quick.

There is nothing wrong with them wanting those details BUT odds are each of those parents would be incredibly frustrated if their boss showed up at the end of their shift every day wanting a detailed report of everything that took place that day. There is a time and a place for that type of information to be passed on and it is NOT after one's shift is over, it needs to be done during working hours when the person's attention is not required on work related tasks.

Regardless if they continue verbally discussing these details please spare yourself the time and energy of communicating in the written books!

[mickyc]

All of my parents verbally want the full details of all meals/toileting/sleep/behaviour etc. even if it's in the book, so it's not always quick.

Really? That sounds exhausting! I don't even post my menu anymore as parents don't even read it. I would just tell parents that all details of the day is in the book for them to read.

[lemondrop]

Regardless if they continue verbally discussing these details please spare yourself the time and energy of communicating in the written books!

I completely agree with this! Why waste your time with the books if you then have to repeat all of the info verbally?

I would send out an email to all parents restating your closing time and emphasize that 'closing time' means that all families must be gone by that time. Then print out a copy for each family and have them sign it. I would also do as others have suggested and switch pick ups to indoors so that you have more control over rounding up the children and handing them over.

[bright sparks]

Just curious what is taking so long to talk about? My parents (who ask) usually just say "good day?" I say yep or if not I will say - we didn't bring our listening ears today, we had a timeout because we were pushing our friends today or we had a potty accident etc. I don't go into full on detail about the whole incident because I have already dealt with it and disciplined accordingly.

In the event something major needs to be addressed I send an email to parent during the day.

I have quite a rapport with my daycare parents for the most part. I want to know what is going on at home that may effect their child and I give positive feedback in addition to communicating any negative behaviours. I find it very impersonal to just pass the child back and forth like shared custody of two parents who do not talk. I let a parent know what we have done that day, milestones met and whether they slept and ate well or not. I dont do this for every parent, and also if it just so happens that everyone picks up at the same time, then there isn't really that unless I need to speak to a parent and then I will pull them to one side.

My parents know that no news is good news, but then there are behavioural issues I am working on and it is really important that I constantly check in with the parents verbally each day. I would tell those parents that they need to pick up 10 minutes prior to closing each day so we can touch base. If they were unable to, then I would email them. I also think it is important to not just talk about the negative things at the door, but also share some of the days joys with the families who have to go to work. I did the daily reports years ago but not for a long time now. I forget to do it, or a parent forgets to bring the book back, or they dont read them. I find it is mundane, and inpersonal.

Because I think it is essential that we share care responsibilities and collaborate all the time, I want parents to talk to me, even if it is trivial. It gives me insight into their parenting and how this may affect their child when in my care. I care about these children very much and am invested so to me, talking at the door is part of my job. If there isn't time, then I tell them upfront that I need to leave immediately for an appointment, which is frequently the case so picking up early is important.

Some examples, I have a child who has been suffering anxiety for months. Mom and I constantly brainstorm. I have a 10 minute limit with her simply because of the other children, although the front door is right next to the room and I can multi task. If she is the last to pickup then I talk longer. It is as a result of this, that things have improved. Had I not taken the extra time to talk to them then things would have continued to escalate. If I have to leave or it is later than I would like, then I outright tell a parent that it is time to leave as I have plans. Most of the posts I see on here about many issues are as a result of providers not speaking up for themselves. Take control! Quite often parents take advantage of us or break the rules because we allow them and dont hold up our own contracts.

I understand not giving a play by play on an incident and how you handled it, but sometimes it is essential to talk more about it if for no other reason than to enquire as to whether this kind of behaviour is occuring at home and how it is being managed. Without that conversation, resolution is harder for the child and provider.

I honestly find that the more I invest in those end of day conversations, the better the child is in every aspect and the greater collaboration with the parents I have. That results in a better work day for me and healthier children.

If it doesn't work with another providers schedule I totally understand, we all run our daycares differently, but if a parent is outstaying their welcome, that is on the provider for not being in control and telling them to leave.

[bright sparks]

All of my parents verbally want the full details of all meals/toileting/sleep/behaviour etc. even if it's in the book, so it's not always quick.

It sounds to me like a good time to put an end to the book.

When a parent asks for this info, don't give it to them. Tell them, " All those details are written down in your book. The purpose of the book is to eliminate the need for me to have long drawn out pick ups for this kind of feedback. Please remember to make pick up time brief as I have multiple parents picking up. When you require the same written info verbally, it takes my attention away from the others and compromises their care. If you have any further questions about the day and I am able to answer them during a quieter pick up I will do. Otherwise please feel free to email me and I will respond when I am able to." That is professional and taking control of the situation. In all likelihood, they probably keep asking you out of habit because they have done it for so long and because you have done it for so long too.

[mickyc]

Bright sparks - I guess for me I haven't had real major issues that require a lot of discussing. I chat with my families morning/night but there really is no need to spend 10 minutes per family repeating a play by play of our day/meals/activities. My 2 families have been here for multiple years with multiple children, we see each other at our children's extracurricular activities etc. if there is anything exciting I often text/send photo when it happens. If there is an issue that requires attention I also email or text during the day. I also post on my Facebook page so parents can see our activities, plus the crafts go home anyways.

I just find what the OP's parents are expecting of her is too much! Either write it in the book or spend the last half hour at the end of the day giving a play by play. For myself the day is done and has been long enough. If it's written down then they can read it there, if it's something that requires special attention then so be it. The attention should be on the remaining children and not the parents of the one going home. This is what is causing the kids to become out of control.

Just my 2 cents.

[5 Little Monkeys]

I think a newsletter is a good idea to address it. State your closing time and ask that all communication be done before that. If they all prefer to hear about their child's day over reading about it, than I'd suggest stopping the communication books as it's just a waste of your time

For myself, I only have one family that picks up at my closing time but I still give them a run down of our day, unless I need to go ASAP but I try and make my evening appts 15 minutes later than I think I need too so it leaves some leeway.

I'm a chatter myself so I usually don't mind it. It's nice to have that adult interaction lol. I'm not friends outside of daycare with any of my families so I feel it's important to establish that rapport during business hours. I mean, it's just part of the job right?? We talk about their child's day, anything funny they said or did, any issues (knock on wood, this is VERY rare), what we ate, how they slept, unusual bm's and than usually chat about anything else under the sun lol. Two of my dads and one of my moms will sometimes chat for 20 minutes!

[Suzie_Homemaker]

Just say that you are more than willing to verbally discuss child at end day but please, if that is requirement, turn up in time to allow for that since you close at 5pm prompt and have personal commitment beyond those hour.

[Van]

I guess the thing that irks me is that I have appts such as family chiro. and kids lessons booked for 30 mins after I close. Often the commute to get there is 20 mins in traffic within our town, so I'm often late when the parents are chatty, and my kids miss part of their lessons(which are costly) or we miss our chiro appts because they have now closed. When you work a 10 hr day, how are you supposed to get to regular appts? After work is the only option, but most are closed by 5pm.
Just frustrating that's all. Maybe I'll just tell them to check the book. I do have a dropoff/pickup policy, which states 2-3 minutes for dropoff/pickup.

Just be honest and let them know that your son has activities most nights after daycare and you need to get to them ASAP mon to Fri - I am sure they will understand

[Snowmom]

I think denying the parent the right to more than a minute chat at the door is a huge shame. However as a busy parent of teenagers with a full week of after school and evening activities, I too do not have the time to be chatting beyond close. I like the posters comment about asking to arrive with adequate time to chat prior to closing, otherwise it will be brief. If they have specific questions, ask them to email. If a parent requires a little more extensive communication then I think that is part of our job and there just need to be strict guidelines to adhere to so it doesn't go into after hours. Charging a late fee is petty in my opinion. SO a parent comes to collect at 5 to 5 and we just so happen to finish chatting at 2 minutes past so they have to pay? Or I cut a parent off at the 5pm mark and say any more communication is at a fee? Sorry that is a provider I wouldn't be happy sending my child to. A little give and take is fine, but ultimatly if a providers policies are being abused then it is up to the provider to nail down the source and fix it. It sounds like the parent doesnt have the understanding of this expectation so why would they consider that it might bother you. If they want to have a written report and verbal at the door, then you need to determine which one works best for you and let everyone know that from now on unless it is serious then the days communication will be in the book and that pickup time needs to be brief due to family commitments. I have a drop off and pick up policy in my contract to avoid any of these issues.

I am the main disciplinary while the child is on my premises. If a child is acting out, they get treated the same regardless of parents present or not. Otherwise they would be on a wrist link by my side until they could be trusted. Outdoor pick ups are nuts in my experience at the best of times. I can not keep a close enough eye on children in a large open space if I am also focusing one on one with a parent or other child. Indoors all sat ready to go at the front door makes things much smoother

This is business. What you find petty, I find necessary. As a business, if you want something to stop, attach a fee to it. It's an effective way to stop a behavior pretty quickly!
And yes, I charge for every minute a parent is here past their contracted time. I tell every family to make sure they arrive with plenty of time to gather what they need, physically and verbally, THEN sign out. I don't think it makes me any less of a caring person or caregiver just because I demand overtime if they use my free time.

Even 5 minutes a day adds up... that'd be over 21 hours a year you gave away for free.