Toilet training/bms

[Busy ECE mommy]

I posted a while ago about a 3 yr old boy who is trained as far as pee goes, but bms are a nightmare. Spends about 15mins in bathroom, and generally still has 1-2 bm accidents a day(after 6 weeks of training) BMs are very loose and messy and often leak out of pullup. On the rare occasion that it actually ends up in the bathroom, it is everywhere(down legs/on walls/floor etc) I have encouraged self wiping when it happens in bathroom, and assist him as needed, but now it's usually leaking onto clothes out of pullup while in the playroom. When he has frequent bm accidents, he will tantrum for 10-15 mins if I try to wipe him, and will upset himself to the point of vomitting. Of course parents say accidents NEVER happen at home LOL, and no tantrums either at home. He can hold his pee, but cannot tell me he is about to poo, or cannot tell me he has gone. The same goes at home-cannot verbalize has gone/about to go. Usually I detect it by smell, or by a huge tantrum. If you had a child who was pee trained, but not poo trained with numerous accidents, would you ask parents to go back into diapers, or put the hold on training for now? Help!!

[teddybear]

I just trained a little guy of 2 over the summer because he was raw from loose BM several times a day. Turns out he must be lactose intolerant or something, because we cut all dairy ( I give him almond milk instead) and he now has normal solid BM once a day, if that. All accidents stopped once that was sorted out too.

[bright sparks]

ditto what teddy bear said.

One of my requirements prior to starting toilet training is that child must have solid formed BMs. So prior to starting training if they are not, I ask parents if they will try eliminating dairy and every single time I kid you not, BMs have become solid. Usually, at least in my experience anyway, the kids with this issue drink/consume lots of dairy and at the end of the day dairy is just sugar and fat. No wonder they have the trots constantly. Additionally monitor the amount of fruit intake because this can play a part.

I would not revert back, I would however go dairy free. Make the suggestion to mum, if she says no I would still go dairy free at daycare and see if this helps. It is clearly traumatic to the child hense the behaviour.

Also start keeping track of the times of the bowel movements. The sign of a healthy colon is regularity. If the child's diet is consistent then for the most part he should be going at the same time most days. If not then it is a sure sign of some type of food intolerance, most likely culprit being dairy. If he is going at the same times then it is up to you to condition this child and place him on the toilet at roughly the same time each day. If you can not leave the room, then get a potty. A potty that has the insert makes for much easier clean up. After a while of having less traumatic experiences and positive reinforcement for his successes and mirroring of verbal requests, then you might see some improvement,

[Busy ECE mommy]

Thanks, I've often wondered if dairy intolerance was the issue, as the smell is foul too, to the point that I have to bag it immediately and put it in the garage-can't leave it in diaper pail.
What do you say to parents who claim it never happens at home. I've already gotten that nasty implication that there is something wrong in the environment here that is causing the accidents UGGH! Would you request bigger pullups too, as he's in the smallest size(he used to wear size 6 diapers, and he's big for 3 yrs)? The mess/hygeine aspect of it is getting gross. Full clothing change too today due to leakage.

[teddybear]

He may not be having accidents at home (I doubt that), but he must have loose BM there too. I'm sure they would like to see those clear up. Just keep telling them he has diarrhea (show them if necessary) until they acknowledge a problem, then discuss dietary changes. A Dr would advise eliminating certain foods ( ie dairy) to find the source of the problem. Even if he wasn't having accidents, he'd be spending half his day on the toilet. That's no fun for him.

[ebhappydc]

Quick question - do all the kids use the same floor potty? I have a parent that supplied with one for her little girl.... Do I use a different one for another child? Most of the kids I care for use the big toilet with the ring, but some kids are too short to get up on it. I don't really want 2 potties in this bthrm as it's small but I don't know if the mom cares if other kids r using the same one..... wdyd? Tx!

[Peacefulbird]

Yes. The same potty but you need to disinfect for every use. It is easy. Search online and you'll find out how to.

[Suzie_Homemaker]

Quick question - do all the kids use the same floor potty? I have a parent that supplied with one for her little girl.... Do I use a different one for another child? Most of the kids I care for use the big toilet with the ring, but some kids are too short to get up on it. I don't really want 2 potties in this bthrm as it's small but I don't know if the mom cares if other kids r using the same one..... wdyd? Tx!

I would just tell her that you don't have room for a second potty, reassure her that the potty you have is disinfected between every use and remind her that when the time comes for her child to use the toilet vs the potty, that you are confident that she isn't cleaning the toilet every time someone uses it and neither does that happen in homes she visits or public washrooms her child will use.

Ask her why she's felt the need to supply one. That will give you a clue how to address it.