Parents and potty training

[Goldilocks]

So this morning I had a parent announce that she brought her just turned two year girl to me in panties. She wants me to put her on the potty every half hour. The dcg doesn't ask for the potty yet. She has excellent verbal skills for just turning two but doesn't know to ask for the potty yet. I have carpet all over my house and I have five other children in my care. Putting her on the potty every half hour to me isn't potty training. The child should be asking for the potty, not me trying to catch her for potty. I do appreciate the parents trying early but if the child doesn't even ask yet she isn't ready. She does go occasionally when I put her on the potty but she is no way ready for panties yet. She's always wet after naps and is usually wet whenever it's bathroom time for everyone. I do have in my handbook that children need to be dry for two weeks in pull-ups before attempting underwear. I find this frustrating. Just venting.

[Suzie_Homemaker]

I toilet train immediately after their 2nd birthday whether or not child is speaking. But child need to be able communicate even if non-verbal - and they need be able pull own pant up and down. They also wear diaper for napping for quite while after being trained when awake. And I do send every 20 mins to start with. I train in real underwear, no diapers when awake but only nap time. I trained some younger than 2 but only few months younger.

I not think any of her request unusual as it does work here with 5 other child but if you want do it differently, that up you.

Have you consider have toilet train guide which detail your expectation for sign readiness and you process?

[Goldilocks]

Stopping everything to put a child on the potty every 20-30 minutes is asking a lot IMO. This child does not communicate when she needs to go potty. Trying to catch her every half hour is "elimination training" not real potty training. This is parents training themselves, not the child. Stopping every 20-30 minutes seems a bit difficult especially with other kids to care for or in the middle of activities or being outside for 40 minutes. She also cries after she has a BM because of past constipation issues. Having her pee or poo her pants is not sanitary in my carpeted house. She has been in pull ups for a few months and I do put her on the potty when the other kids have their potty break time.
I don't think it's unreasonable for me to expect her to be dry for 2 weeks and being able to verbally ask for the potty before trying underwear here.

[jupadia]

I have a potty training policy here. Mostly I wait till parent has started traiNing at home before starting in care. Also I don't allow underware till child can ask to go to the potty and mats ins dry pull ups / diapers and i have laminate floors and foam mats no carpets or couches in my daycare space. only one I have put into underware before getting mostly dry diapers was my own. For kids that are potty training I bring them to the washroom every 2 hours (same times I do baby's bums). Kids don't need to use the potty every 30 min if they ate truly ready for potty training. Every 30 min is ok gor parents to do since they just have the one it's unfair for you while doing group care.

[Lee-Bee]

Sounds like you are pretty set on doing it your way and the way you have it in your contract. There is nothing wrong with that BUT you do NEED to tell the parents this ASAP. Otherwise both parties will be frustrated.

Some kids do magically get it at age 2 and in a matter of days they no longer need the constant reminders. It is totally up to you to try it or not.

I would suggest you decide now what you are willing to do and tell them in person and in writing. Explain your reasons and what you will and will not do. They can take it or leave it.

[BlueRose]

I would have turned them away at the door. Back home to get a diaper or pull-up on, then they can return. I don't allow them to go without a pull-up until I feel they are ready (one month no accidents) and I have given the parents a letter stating its okay to send their child in underwear.

I also will not put a child on the potty every 20-30 min. They need to ask to go. I will send them before we go out, before snack/lunch and nap.

[kindredspirit]

I'd try it out, see how it goes-but I have hardwood! My oldest started wearing undies at the request of her dayhome (Montessori program) when she was 19 months. She needed reminders, but every 30min sounds very time consuming!! I personally hate pull ups... I have 2 kids doing early training now (one in diapers, being changed standing in the bathroom, the other in cloth trainers), and I do reminders every 2 hours, or before starting new activities.

[Suzie_Homemaker]

Stopping everything to put a child on the potty every 20-30 minutes is asking a lot IMO. This child does not communicate when she needs to go potty. Trying to catch her every half hour is "elimination training" not real potty training. This is parents training themselves, not the child. Stopping every 20-30 minutes seems a bit difficult especially with other kids to care for or in the middle of activities or being outside for 40 minutes. She also cries after she has a BM because of past constipation issues. Having her pee or poo her pants is not sanitary in my carpeted house. She has been in pull ups for a few months and I do put her on the potty when the other kids have their potty break time.
I don't think it's unreasonable for me to expect her to be dry for 2 weeks and being able to verbally ask for the potty before trying underwear here.

I think you misunderstand. I not "stop everything to put child on potty every 20-30 minutes". I say "Go pee, X" and they go. From 18 months, I getting child to pull down pants for diaper change and pull up after change. When child is toilet training her, they are sent to pee, they walk to potty, pull pants down and sit, and after they pee, they wipe, pull up pants and go. The only thing I do is set timer to sound so I can send them. I teaching independant toilet training and that not include me stopping everything and escorting child to washroom.

For first couple days, I pay attention to when they pee, how soon after drink they pee, and then I can adjust when I send based on them. It typical they have couple accidents in first couple days if they try potty and it empty but it never taken more than a week - 10 days to train a 2 year old this way.

I do commit to not going for walk or leaving premises for that first week but we still go outside bring potty onto deck and carry on like normal. But I also require parent to start process on a weekend and they need commit to being home that weekend too.

Since you so opposing to idea, I think you already have firm idea of how you intend train. I suggest if that case, maybe document it and issue as part of your documentation then this conflict not happen with other client.

[MommaL]

How has it been the past couple of days since you initially posted? Did you talk to the parents?

For me, I do like to give parents the benefit of the doubt. I know that many parents don't understand the day-to-day lives of daycare providers and therefore don't realize that what works for them at home may not work for us at daycare. I'm also realistic to the fact that many parents don't refer back to my handbook and my policies after their initial read. So an open, honest communication is key so that parents know that I want to work with them, but understand my concerns as well.

In the case of potty training, I think we all have our techniques that work for us. And in some cases, we've all learned there will be instances when what has worked for the majority of our other daycare kids may not work for everyone. I personally dislike pull-ups in that many kids use them as an excuse not to be vocal about needing to go to the washroom and don't understand the consequences of not going (i.e. they don't understand that they are going to get all wet with pee if they don't go on the potty). As such, while I do accept and encourage parents to try pull-ups initially, if a child is wearing them for an extended period of time and still not going to the potty consistently, I will suggest trying underwear. I fully expect there will be accidents initially and frequent trips and reminders to go to the potty. And like Suzie_homemaker, I dedicate myself to helping this child knowing that there will be less outings that week and more time spent close to the potty. But for most children, after a few days it just clicks. For others, if they continue to have accidents, not be vocal, or don't even seem to care when they do have accidents, then they simply aren't ready and it's time to take a break and try again at a later point.

Anyway, those are just my thoughts.

[Goldilocks]

Thank you everyone for your input. I do appreciate it. After a few days of my dcg wearing panties I put her back in pull-ups. She doesn't ask for the potty at all. I do put her on the potty about every 45 minutes as I find 20 minutes just a little too much. When she goes in the potty she gets a sticker for a chart. She has had several accidents which is understandable but she just tells me she has peed. As I do have carpet it is now becoming a sanitary issue for me. I will be speaking to mom at pick up time to tell her we can try panties again when dcg can tell me she has to go. Personally I don't think she is ready yet. The parents have been trying for the past six months to potty train. I think they should continue with underwear at home (pull-ups at nap time as she goes in her sleep). As soon as she can ask to go she can wear panties here.

[Van]

yes you did the right thing as the child need to wear pull-up to protect your carpets and just for l hygiene reasons

[adaycarelady]

Stick with your policy of being dry in a diaper for 2 weeks before being allowed to be in underwear. A child should be able to verbally say they need to go to the potty or just go to the potty on their own. That child is going to continue to have accidents until they are ready and if they keep on peeing on your carpets, your house is going to stink and might be hard to fill spots in the future if your house smells. Shampooing your carpets everyday is alot of extra work you are not being paid to do unless you start charging that parent carpet cleaning fees. Even if the carpets are shampooed everyday, the pee will still get into the carpet padding underneath and will be hard to get out with shampooing. I've been running my daycare for almost 8 years and I've been there, I know what it's like to want to please the parents and not loose income. But over the years I've learnt to stick to my policies because spots can be filled with another family. If they can't remember all your policies after reading them the first time, they can easily refer back to them. Parents like that are just lazy and want other people to raise their children for them. I doubt she has even been putting much effort into potty training at home. If she has been training the child for 6 months and still is not trained, the child is not ready and you need to put your foot down to protect your carpets. I've had pushy parents like that too and I put my foot down and if they don't like it they can find another daycare. I have always filled my spots. I have had parents who waited until their child was ready, and potty training took about a week and the child went on their own (with some reminders). Accidents are rare when a child is ready.