dragonlady3
12-18-2011, 07:53 PM
Hi …I would really appreciate some input. We took on a little boy about two years ago. He is a nice little guy, but a tad dramatic. Not unmanageable at all, just required a bit more attention, especially when teething. The family is terrific 95% of the time, but over the years, the father has been quite unpleasant 4 times. He first lost his temper when he thought we shouldn’t send his son home when he was ‘just’ teething! The mom quickly apologized and told us to call her first in the future. This isn’t always sensible because she is a surgical nurse, nonetheless, things settled down for another year when they started their second son (who is not dramatic!)
The father came in one day and because he heard his little boy crying, he mistakenly assumed my daughter (18 years) had left him cry for 2 hours of the nap. He did not allow her to explain that he had just wakened, had been unwilling to be picked up, had been left for a few minutes to care for a child who seemed unwell (and who proceeded to vomit almost immediately.) He was very angry and intimidating and informed her that he would be calling her later to deal with the situation. I am usually on sight but was upstairs at the time so missed this but was really distressed that he would behave in this manner. I talked to the mom and once again she seemed open to our explanation…especial ly as she did the pick up the next day…and another child vomited. She, being very sensible, sat down with her son and the other children and read them a book while my assistant that day was able to clean up in a calm manner. She explained that her husband had had a truly horrible day the day before.
He came in the next day to talk to me and explain his perception and why he had been so angry. I asked him to speak to my daughter and allow her to hear his explanation. He refused to look at her but we did manage to explain how sometimes things appear one way, when in reality a care-giver has made the best choice in a difficult situation. We extracted a promise from him that he would come in one day for a few hours so he could see how we managed our child care and better appreciate our responsibilities….th at was several months ago and he has not come in for that visit.
The most recent incident was this week. He had been allowing his little boy to bring in a toy every day and was deaf to our gentle, but infrequent (our fault ...should have been firmer), hints that this made things a bit difficult for us, especially the day before when we had temporarily lost the toy and the little guy had to go home without it. The next morning I made a ‘request’ that the little guy leave all toys in the car for a little while. The dad exploded. He grabbed the toy from his son's hand, shoved it in his pocket, told me he was sick of hearing a lecture every time he came in. Then he told me I was in for ‘something’ with the child….and wouldn’t explain. Finally, he announced that we were not to call him if we thought the boy was sick, because he wasn’t. He was just fussy. Although he was able to manage that day, the little guy was off sick the next three days.
Help. I really like this family (esp. Mom) when they are ‘on their game’, but these temper outbursts of the father, are really unsettling. The rest of the time he is calm, pleasant, smart and funny.
The father came in one day and because he heard his little boy crying, he mistakenly assumed my daughter (18 years) had left him cry for 2 hours of the nap. He did not allow her to explain that he had just wakened, had been unwilling to be picked up, had been left for a few minutes to care for a child who seemed unwell (and who proceeded to vomit almost immediately.) He was very angry and intimidating and informed her that he would be calling her later to deal with the situation. I am usually on sight but was upstairs at the time so missed this but was really distressed that he would behave in this manner. I talked to the mom and once again she seemed open to our explanation…especial ly as she did the pick up the next day…and another child vomited. She, being very sensible, sat down with her son and the other children and read them a book while my assistant that day was able to clean up in a calm manner. She explained that her husband had had a truly horrible day the day before.
He came in the next day to talk to me and explain his perception and why he had been so angry. I asked him to speak to my daughter and allow her to hear his explanation. He refused to look at her but we did manage to explain how sometimes things appear one way, when in reality a care-giver has made the best choice in a difficult situation. We extracted a promise from him that he would come in one day for a few hours so he could see how we managed our child care and better appreciate our responsibilities….th at was several months ago and he has not come in for that visit.
The most recent incident was this week. He had been allowing his little boy to bring in a toy every day and was deaf to our gentle, but infrequent (our fault ...should have been firmer), hints that this made things a bit difficult for us, especially the day before when we had temporarily lost the toy and the little guy had to go home without it. The next morning I made a ‘request’ that the little guy leave all toys in the car for a little while. The dad exploded. He grabbed the toy from his son's hand, shoved it in his pocket, told me he was sick of hearing a lecture every time he came in. Then he told me I was in for ‘something’ with the child….and wouldn’t explain. Finally, he announced that we were not to call him if we thought the boy was sick, because he wasn’t. He was just fussy. Although he was able to manage that day, the little guy was off sick the next three days.
Help. I really like this family (esp. Mom) when they are ‘on their game’, but these temper outbursts of the father, are really unsettling. The rest of the time he is calm, pleasant, smart and funny.