zinz
02-07-2018, 01:57 PM
I apologize for the long post, but I need advice! I should also start by clarifying that my daycare is in my living space (not a separate part of the house), which is the main floor of my townhouse; also, I only opened my in-home daycare last summer, so my experience is limited.
I have been looking after 3 siblings since September – they are 20 months, 6 (boy), and 9 (girl). I have my own 20 month old and an eight year old (boy). I have the older ones only before/after school – an hour in the morning & 2 hours after. I have had all kinds of behavioural issues with the two older ones from the start. The 6 year old would regularly touch his older sister inappropriately, himself, and sometimes my son as well (he would grab at them during play). I made it clear to him that it was not allowed, & discussed it multiple times with his parents; it has since stopped. However, he will still make various comments about private parts, as will the others (his sister & my son). They will also say swear words or words very close to swear words because they think it’s funny. I remind them on a daily basis to not be using inappropriate language, but it does not seem to make a difference. There is also running in the house, throwing things at each other, shrieking (when fighting or when playing), roughhousing, and jumping onto the couch or throwing couch cushions; I feel like I am reminding them about rules every single day, if not multiple times per day. They often do not listen when I am trying to discipline, refuse to clean up, and generally do not show much concern or respect for me or the daycare.
The other part of it is the brother & older sister also fight constantly; they tell on each other all the time, snatch toys from each other, are consistently verbally rude/mean to each other, and at times will be physically aggressive with each other (pushing, shoving, hitting, etc.). Almost every day they literally whine and complain and fight about who gets to get into the vehicle first to go to school, who sits in which chair for snack, etc. The older sister will take it a step further and antagonize and manipulate her brother, either to get her way or to hurt him. She enjoys prodding him to annoy him, getting him in trouble, putting him down, and laughing at his mistakes/injuries. I find it extremely concerning at times.
To combat all the misbehaviour I have started to plan activities to keep them busy each day, but a) it is exhausting spending my after-hours planning and prepping crafts, etc. and b) I have found this leaves me no time to plan activities for the toddlers or even spend much time with them – I am literally either doing guided activities or else mediating arguments.
I have brought up almost all of the issues with the parents – especially when there have been physical fights because of the risk to everyone’s safety – and they are very receptive, but there hasn’t been vast improvement in terms of listening & behaving, and honestly I would have to talk to them every single day at pick up in order to address all of the behavioural problems – it’s too much.
So I guess my question is….Am I doing something wrong? I am constantly frustrated and exhausted, and wondering if I am just not cut out for in-home daycare. Is this normal behaviour for siblings? I can’t compare to my own kids (because of the age gap), and I don’t think my siblings and I were ever this mean to each other, but maybe I just can’t remember it. Should I be doing something differently? I try to make it fun with activities, crafts, etc., but they seem to generally hate it at daycare, and I seem to spend most of my time telling them to stop doing things (like running in the house, yelling, fighting) so we can’t even get to the activities I’ve planned half the time! I want it to be fun for them, but I don’t want to be so angry and exhausted at the end of every day. I’m wondering if I should terminate their contract, or if I just have unrealistic expectations, or if I am approaching it all the wrong way….
Any advice or suggestions would be helpful! I’m at my wits end :(
I have been looking after 3 siblings since September – they are 20 months, 6 (boy), and 9 (girl). I have my own 20 month old and an eight year old (boy). I have the older ones only before/after school – an hour in the morning & 2 hours after. I have had all kinds of behavioural issues with the two older ones from the start. The 6 year old would regularly touch his older sister inappropriately, himself, and sometimes my son as well (he would grab at them during play). I made it clear to him that it was not allowed, & discussed it multiple times with his parents; it has since stopped. However, he will still make various comments about private parts, as will the others (his sister & my son). They will also say swear words or words very close to swear words because they think it’s funny. I remind them on a daily basis to not be using inappropriate language, but it does not seem to make a difference. There is also running in the house, throwing things at each other, shrieking (when fighting or when playing), roughhousing, and jumping onto the couch or throwing couch cushions; I feel like I am reminding them about rules every single day, if not multiple times per day. They often do not listen when I am trying to discipline, refuse to clean up, and generally do not show much concern or respect for me or the daycare.
The other part of it is the brother & older sister also fight constantly; they tell on each other all the time, snatch toys from each other, are consistently verbally rude/mean to each other, and at times will be physically aggressive with each other (pushing, shoving, hitting, etc.). Almost every day they literally whine and complain and fight about who gets to get into the vehicle first to go to school, who sits in which chair for snack, etc. The older sister will take it a step further and antagonize and manipulate her brother, either to get her way or to hurt him. She enjoys prodding him to annoy him, getting him in trouble, putting him down, and laughing at his mistakes/injuries. I find it extremely concerning at times.
To combat all the misbehaviour I have started to plan activities to keep them busy each day, but a) it is exhausting spending my after-hours planning and prepping crafts, etc. and b) I have found this leaves me no time to plan activities for the toddlers or even spend much time with them – I am literally either doing guided activities or else mediating arguments.
I have brought up almost all of the issues with the parents – especially when there have been physical fights because of the risk to everyone’s safety – and they are very receptive, but there hasn’t been vast improvement in terms of listening & behaving, and honestly I would have to talk to them every single day at pick up in order to address all of the behavioural problems – it’s too much.
So I guess my question is….Am I doing something wrong? I am constantly frustrated and exhausted, and wondering if I am just not cut out for in-home daycare. Is this normal behaviour for siblings? I can’t compare to my own kids (because of the age gap), and I don’t think my siblings and I were ever this mean to each other, but maybe I just can’t remember it. Should I be doing something differently? I try to make it fun with activities, crafts, etc., but they seem to generally hate it at daycare, and I seem to spend most of my time telling them to stop doing things (like running in the house, yelling, fighting) so we can’t even get to the activities I’ve planned half the time! I want it to be fun for them, but I don’t want to be so angry and exhausted at the end of every day. I’m wondering if I should terminate their contract, or if I just have unrealistic expectations, or if I am approaching it all the wrong way….
Any advice or suggestions would be helpful! I’m at my wits end :(