View Full Version : Regressing already???

01-05-2012, 01:56 PM
Hi everyone! I have heard that children sometimes 'act' like babies when a new sibling arrives. I have dck that is 20 months with a mom who is due next month. Is it possible he could be acting this way already? He has been here since he was one and has always been extremely timid and to be honest I think this is just his personality. However, he now refuses to feed himself, won't play with his friends, sits in the corner and cries for his Mama ( has never done this before) and other things that seem like regressive behavior. His Mom tells me all the time that she coddles him, runs to him as soon as he makes a peep at night etc. He has never slept through the night so I guess he has learned that he will get attention from mommy. Aside from the fact that his whining can get a bit annoying, I'm a bit concerned that he won't eat. Should I feed him like a baby like mom does or just let him go hungry assuming he'll eat if he's hungry enough? Mom still gives him lots of bottle feeds but I thought kids that age should be eating more and drinking less milk?

01-05-2012, 02:25 PM
It is extremetly possible because talk of babies is probably all he is hearing at home, the crib and nursery is getting set up, his old things that were put away are suddenly out. Mom is likely tired and uncomfortable, can't bend down to play with him, has trouble carrying him, has no lap for holding him, etc. - all the stuff that comes with pregnancy.

Do not feed him because he is also testing the limits at your house and making sure that your rules (self feeding) still stand so make sure they do. At the same time make sure for snacks that he gets things like cheese and crackers that he will pick up and eat so he isnt' going hungry. He should be off the bottle by this age and mom is doing him no favours with a new baby due soon.

01-05-2012, 02:52 PM
Thanks playfelt, that's exactly what I was thinking. He literally will not put a thing in his mouth on his own, not even baby puffs or sippy cup, but will eat if you put it in his mouth. So he leaves here without eating more than a few bites of food all day which I'm sure doesn't help the habit of waking in the night for bottles. I have had many discussions with this mom as our children are the same age and we are both expecting our second. She knows that i will not baby him and has told me things like if he starts a tantrum or something similar she cuddles him straight away and gives him whatever he wants, then says she shouldn't do that! I guess I'll just carry on as normal here and hope things work out for her with two "babies"!

01-05-2012, 04:10 PM
I have a girl that age whose parents just had a baby and she went through a week or two of tantrums and meltdowns. I stayed more firm than ever and gave her a couple of time-outs in the playpen which I had never had to do. Since then she has been very well behaved with me, but melts down the second her mom comes in the door to pick her up. It is actually very possible to have him behave for you even if he doesn't for his mom.

01-05-2012, 10:33 PM
Was he away from you during the holidays? I took the week off and my kids are grumpy, tired, out of sorts and basically just hell on wheels. They had no routine (or boundaries) and we are all paying for it now. Next week will be better!
At 20 mos there is no way that kiddo should still be on a bottle, breast yes, bottle no. Maybe gently remind mom that his body now needs a balanced diet that milk can't give him. I'd do the same as playfelt suggested and continue to give him finger foods so he can feed himself, mom can care for the monster she creates at home and you will have a nice, orderly daycare.

01-08-2012, 03:27 AM
I agree with everyone else for sure. You cannot feed him or cater to these whims (like MOM) or things will only get worse. Is he still going to come to you after the baby comes?
Yikes, that mommy is in for a HELL of a time. :ohmy: