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View Full Version : Does any one ever feel like they just want to walk way from family childcare?



samantha3
01-05-2012, 02:02 PM
Hello,

I am just venting in frustration as I am having a bad day today! But, does anyone ever feel like they just want to walk away from caring for children?! Most days are great but sometimes I just feel like I would rather be doing something else.... anyone feel like this sometimes? :(

Judy Trickett
01-05-2012, 02:13 PM
You are not alone. Many providers feel this and feel it often. In many ways this is a thankless job and yes, that gets to you sometimes.

samantha3
01-05-2012, 02:15 PM
Thanks Judy, one of the reasons I feel this way is because most of my families are very under appreciative and it gets to be frustrating really fast. Hopefully I will sleep it off tonight and start tomorrow off fresh :)

playfelt
01-05-2012, 02:20 PM
This is an especially stressful time. While we are all excited to start the new year with new lessons and new ideas, maybe new materials and a change in setup over the holidays and because of those holidays all of our efforts are for naught. The kids are tired, grumpy, out of sorts, and the parents are frazzled and out of routine too. So I have to remind myself like all phases of childhood this one is temporary too and it will get better.

Sandbox Sally
01-05-2012, 02:22 PM
Samantha, how are you underappreciated? I would address these issues. Your job satisfaction is very important to your mental health. I actually terminated a family for being curt and unappreciative. The mother was shocked and begged for another chance, I gave her one, and now it is working out VERY well. If you don't ask, you can't get.

Sorry you're having a bad day. :( I also feel sometimes that it would be easier to work outside the home, but then think of the stinky commute, putting my own kids in before/after care, and it just doesn't seem worth it.

samantha3
01-05-2012, 02:36 PM
Hi Alphaghetti,

I feel I am underappreciated because today for example, at 930am I had two children (waiting for three) and in my contract there is a policy about letting me know if you are coming in by 9am. So I left the house to go and take a letter to the mail box with the two children in my care because I assumed they were not coming in as they did not contact myself. I then get a text msg from one of the parents saying she is on her way and I did not hear back from the other two. When I arrived back to my place two families were waiting for me (one just arrived and made the comment 'oh do I have perfect timing today'.

I have already sent out a reminder email about two months ago reminding families to review and acknowledge this policy (it was great for about two weeks). Now it is back to them coming anytime between 9am and 11am. This makes me just want to take whoever is here at 9am, hop on a bus and be very far away just to prove a point but I just cannot bring myself to do it.

Do you think I should send out another email reminder?

Thanks for all your help :)

Cocoon
01-05-2012, 02:48 PM
Oh yes! In fact lately everyday:))) It took a month for my first dck to settle down and I've got another dck who started last week and now dealing with him. And belive me, everyday I'm quitting:) It will hopefully get better.

I would def. talk to them rather then send them another email. Tell them you can not run your dayhome according to their plans(of course say this in a nice way:) And may be introduce a late drop in fee...?

Skysue
01-05-2012, 05:46 PM
Hi Alphaghetti,

I feel I am underappreciated because today for example, at 930am I had two children (waiting for three) and in my contract there is a policy about letting me know if you are coming in by 9am. So I left the house to go and take a letter to the mail box with the two children in my care because I assumed they were not coming in as they did not contact myself. I then get a text msg from one of the parents saying she is on her way and I did not hear back from the other two. When I arrived back to my place two families were waiting for me (one just arrived and made the comment 'oh do I have perfect timing today'.

I have already sent out a reminder email about two months ago reminding families to review and acknowledge this policy (it was great for about two weeks). Now it is back to them coming anytime between 9am and 11am. This makes me just want to take whoever is here at 9am, hop on a bus and be very far away just to prove a point but I just cannot bring myself to do it.

Do you think I should send out another email reminder?

Thanks for all your help :)

Sorry they are taking advantage of you :( it really makes you feel like crap. Been there and you really should have taken your time when you got the text. I don't carry a cell due to this mentality that people have that you will be at there beck and call ASAP and for me my policy is if you want to change your schedule you must give me 12 hours notice, unless itís an emergency

You should let them know that they must give you ample notice of any changes or there will be an additional fee involved. I used to have a parent that dropped off at the most crazy times due to be on call and I hated it as it really can ruin your day. We have routines and activities scheduled for a reason!

Know that your not alone but you need to speak to these parents in person regarding this issue. How would they feel if their boss changed their schedule on them last minute?

Or how would they feel if at pick up your werenít there due to taking your time at the park! LOL

Hang in there we love you!

horsegirl
01-05-2012, 06:08 PM
We all have these days and then we look at the children and the love they have for you and we realize tomorrow will be better. I have had similar issues with parents and I put a note on the front door reminding them of my policies and I send home a note in their bags also. Some parents catch on right away while others take a little longer and they are the ones that are put out because I am out with the children. I will not wait around and I put a note on the door to let them know where I am and they can decide if they want to find me. I have had parents comment that I am at home so it does not matter as much if they arrive on time for drop off or arrive late for pick up. I remind them that I have responsibilities to my family and that I have arrangements for after work and plans for the children in the morning. You are a very important part in the children's lives and parents do realize this. Hang in there :yes:

playfelt
01-05-2012, 07:11 PM
My playroom is in the basement and I was having the same issue. We hung out upstairs doing stuff waiting for the last kids to arrive by which time it was often barely worth it to bother going down by the time we cleaned up upstairs. The moms on mat leave are the worst. They want their child to stay in care for socialization and learning time and then bring them after freeplay and circletime is over and then wonder why the others have crafts to take home and their child doesn't.

I now have a rule that I go down to the playroom at 9am and do not leave the kids to answer the door so don't bother coming late and ringing. One day of making the trip to my house baby in tow only to have to go back home and she has never been late since.

And yes I have gone to the park or years ago it involved walking kids to school so once we were gone we were gone. I always took a "different" route home with lots of pathways - ie off the main roads just because. Sometimes spite can do wonders for our moods.

Like children words either verbal or on paper are just that words and as the saying goes "actions speak louder than words". Sometimes you need to show the parents that you are serious about enforcing a rule for them to actually realize you meant them too.

VictoriaChildCare
01-05-2012, 10:16 PM
I don't think my sentiments will be very popular but I don't have a problem with drop off times. I have a mom on mat leave and she shows up anywhere between 8am and 11am - but her schedule is dictated by her newborn. My parents know that I have the day planned out so we carry on. At 9am I lock the back door and we go on with our day. In summer we may be out for a walk or at the park so I leave a note on the door and they can either track us down or wait for us at the house.
No we don't run drop in centres, we are not a centre base but one of the reasons our parents chose home care was because of the personal attention and the flexibility. I do demand to be treated with respect though - if you are going to be late, call. If your child isn't coming that day, call early. I have it in my contract and my Parent Handbook. They should be doing this out of common courtesy anyway. If they're late coming in that's their child's time they are messing with, I'm getting paid whether the child is there or not.

Late pick ups don't fly at my house. My contract says (in red text) Unreasonable Late Fees $1 per minute. (thats for no call, no show) I also have Reasonable Late fees :laugh: I've never had to assess anyone the unreasonable fee :)

VictoriaChildCare
01-05-2012, 10:19 PM
oops almost forgot the point of this thread. Yes, samantha, I feel like quitting at least once a week and it's usually because I'm sick of the sound of my own voice saying the same things over and over again.

playfelt
01-06-2012, 06:51 AM
When we deal with mixed ages and are the only adult on staff so to speak it is hard to be in several places at once. Properly greeting a parent/child at the door, helping a toddler with the daily craft or just about to finish snack as a child arrives only to find out he is hungry because he has been up for a couple hours but they just didn't bother coming - guess who is really hungry by lunchtime because we just move on to next event. The not feeling appreciated is caused by the staggered arrivals because it can make the caregiver feel that the effort they put in to planning the craft, snack or lesson wasn't important enough to the family to get the child there in time to be a part of what we planned for them.

Spixie33
01-06-2012, 01:01 PM
I feel like quitting every time there is 'one of those days' and I feel like just calling each parent and apologizing and saying I can't do it. Then the next day comes and usually becomes better again.

:) I think I strongly get the urge to go on Monster.ca or workopolis to look at other employment about every 4-6 weeks but then I see the salaries, calculate my own daycare expenses for my own kids into it and feel calmed down again.

I have some parents come later but they do have enough respect to call. If a parent doesn't call and I am expecting them then I will make an overly concerned call to them that sends them the message that I am worried if they are okay and that I was expecting them and that usually makes them feel guilty enough to apologize profusely and call from that point forward.

Most of the time I am okay if people want to come late as long as I know when. It is fine as long as it isn't a day we are going to Early Years or somewhere else. I hate having a baby that just had a BM and I want to change them but am waiting for the doorbell to ring and getting stuck in the 'should I do it or should I wait?" babies always have the best timing. Nothing like being in the middle of a potty session or a diaper change and you hear the door bell. ahhh

samantha3
01-06-2012, 01:58 PM
thank you ladies. I feel much better today about the whole situation. I think I am going to think about it over the weekend and then go from there. I just feel really limited to what can happen in the mornings because I am always waiting for someone...

The phone call idea is a great one, I think I will try that as well as a gentle reminder that calling before 9am is helpful for me to plan my day for THEIR CHILDREN, lol

I guess I also find it funny because everything I do is for their children..,... hahaha at least I am laughing today :laugh:

samantha3
01-06-2012, 02:01 PM
Hello Victoriachildcare,

I also believe that families can come and go as they please, it would just be appreciated if there was a phone call or a regular drop off time so if we did go out to the park they could either meet us there or we could be back in time for their drop off etc....

It is a nice feeling to be a flexible childcare provider and I think that the families appreciate it because they have very busy schedules as well as us:)

Momof4
01-06-2012, 04:04 PM
Hi Alphaghetti,

I feel I am underappreciated because today for example, at 930am I had two children (waiting for three) and in my contract there is a policy about letting me know if you are coming in by 9am. So I left the house to go and take a letter to the mail box with the two children in my care because I assumed they were not coming in as they did not contact myself. I then get a text msg from one of the parents saying she is on her way and I did not hear back from the other two. When I arrived back to my place two families were waiting for me (one just arrived and made the comment 'oh do I have perfect timing today'.

I have already sent out a reminder email about two months ago reminding families to review and acknowledge this policy (it was great for about two weeks). Now it is back to them coming anytime between 9am and 11am. This makes me just want to take whoever is here at 9am, hop on a bus and be very far away just to prove a point but I just cannot bring myself to do it.

Do you think I should send out another email reminder?

Thanks for all your help :)

I'm sorry but why is it your problem that the parents come at the wrong time? It is their problem! I think it is awesome that you were out of the house when the parents wanted to arrive at the wrong time and I think you should do that more often. I'm serious, I did that when I was having this problem with one family and it worked wonders.

In my case I made a rule that the family had to arrive before 9am because we leave to go to parks and the library and etc. at 9:30 quite often. I will not wait around for people because I make plans and stick to them.

As far as quitting this career choice, NO, a big NO! But I've been doing this for 4 years now after working outside the home all my life and that is what I would never do again. I will never work for somebody else again.

However, I do get really tired and burned out so I take a week vacation near the beginning of the year, a week vacation in the summer and a week vacation in Oct. and a week vacation in Dec. Every 3 months I know I have that week to look forward to so that I can recharge my batteries and come back fresh. It's working for me.

mom-in-alberta
01-08-2012, 03:19 AM
Yup, I would continue on with your day. Lock your door at your "cut off" time. If someone calls, great, I would wait for them. But not calling in advance means a parent might be waiting for us, as we are going to procede with our daily schedule.
PS> I was feeling a little stressed and am now on a temporary hiatus from daycare. Had to do what I had to do!! :)

playfelt
01-08-2012, 09:19 AM
It isn't just about being out of the house. It is about being in the middle of reading a story or playing a game with the kids and then having to stop to go answer the door. The mood is lost, the pieces are scattered, the child comes in excited and wants to "play" which is over and now we are on to planned activities so they are upset. But what you had planned is now ruined unless you start at the beginning of the book again or redo something and the reality is we just give up many days and let them play - we planned for nothing. Problem very often is that the same parent that is your most unreliable is also the one that complains the most or has the highest expectations of your program but than thwarts your efforts at every turn and that is indeed frustrating.

I explain to parents at interviews and remind those on maternity leave that their "privelege" of coming to care will be revoked if they continually disobey the rules is that all arrivals must happen before 9 am and there is no pick up between 1 and 3 pm. Exceptions made for occasional doctor's appointments and since they would be arranged in advance I would have been able to plan my day to do our activities around the time. In other words if parents don't want "just a babysitter" then they have to assist with lesson time by getting their kids there on time.