Termintation and letter

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Originally Posted by martymonty

I'm going through a very similar situation right now, I have tried for MONTHS to get the mom on board with me and she NEVER backs me up, she just stands there and stares at me when I tell her that her son hits, kicks, spits, etc. She has the same problems at home and blames it on his father (they are separated) well today I said that he could make an easter picture or read a story book and then do something else. Well he didn't like what the group was doing, so he punched at me and said stop it, I went over and very calmly explained that this is not proper behaviour from an almost 4 year and he proceeded to have a 25 minute screaming session where he punched the couch, tried pushing it across the room, spit, screamed, started following me around and kicking at my feet. I put him in the play yard and he kicked so hard I thought he was going to put his foot right through it. On top of this, he knows that he is not allowed to turn on the taps after using the bathroom, I always do it for them so they don't mistakenly turn on the hot water and what does he do after going to the bathroom today, turns on the hot water only and sticks his hand under it. Needless to say it hurt but I told him he knows he is not supposed to do this and he just does not listen. I am at my wits end and was trying very hard to get the mom through until he starts school in the Fall, but I just don't think I can do it. What would you girls do....been a VERY stressful day and not so nice for the other kids either :(

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I am also going through a similar situation. I had to term a 2 1/2 year old boy who is being aggressive and has started kicking, hitting ,yelling not only at the other kids but me as well. I would say only you can decide for yourself how much you're willing to take but for me it's a question of whether he's going to injure the other kids.

See if it were me, I would term. I would have to, especially after what I just went thru. If it went on for months and you tried everything to correct the actions and nothing was working, and thru started would term. Especially if the parents weren't on board. The kids are old enough to know better. At age 4, or almost 4, kids should not be spitting, hitting, kicking, moving furniture, disrespecting their DCP or anything.

Thanks for the replies, so for those dcp that terminated did you do it in writing or in person and did you tell them just how it is or what did you say to them. I've never had to terminate anyone in 28 years so just want to do it the easiest and the least confrontational as I can.

I wrote a letter stating the basics. Care is terminated and last day I am able to provide care is xxx. Leaves little room for negotiation and arguments. I included final receipts, all child's items and any monies owing to parent.

I then handed it to them verbally telling them that I was no longer able to care for their child AFTER their child was dressed and AFTER they were already heading out the door. Then closed the door, took a deep breath and smiled. Instantly the stress was gone. Practice saying what you want to say a hundred times if you need to (I am very non-confrontational and was so nervous about doing this). This helped me immensely.

You could address issues if you want. My parents knew what was going on so I didn't as I already had previously outlined issues in documentation form for them. I think if it is a 'surprise' for the parents, you may want to outline exactly what it is according to your contract. So in my contract, for instance, I have a possible termination for "aggressive behaviour that is not modified with either parental or provider intervention" (or something similar). So I would state that "terming due to XXXX policy" perhaps rather than a specific incident. Like "terming due to Bobby hitting Susie at the table". I think statements that refer to a certain incident leave room for argument and negotiation.

Good luck! You'll feel tons better when it's over!