Melt down madness

I have a little guy ~ 18 months in my care who has been my dream daycare child. Always happy- full of energy! For the pats 2- 3 weeks he has been starting to have temper tantrums. Normal for his age and Mom and Dad have noticed it at home too. They are ignoring the behavior.
I've already addressed that moving forward drop off and pick up is quick as he is throwing himself down, not letting them put his jacket on and when up in their arms, arching his back etc.
This little guy has had a cold so I felt the melt downs that seem to be getting more each day are due to not feeling all that great. The little one is on the mend and the cold is almost gone. EVERYTHING is a melt down. If I ask for a toy that was in his mouth and put it up ..he throws himself down and has a tantrum (kicking feet and crying) if I re-direct him to another toy- it goes in the mouth...almost like he knows that I'm going to take it away as he puts it in his mouth and watches me he is doing it. I calmly tell him that we don't put toys in our mouths and ask for it- some times he is throwing it instead of giving it to me.
If I leave the playroom to get snack or bathroom- meltdown and halls on the gate. Time to leave the park- screaming, head back and throws himself down.

My question, how would you handle this. I've had terrible twos with all of my daycare kids plus my own but never come across a little one who gets so upset for everything. Do you think parents ignoring is upseting him? I used to walk away but now I pick him up and tell him that we don't kick and scream and redirect him with a book as he loves books and or something else. I just found that leaving it alone almost seems to bother him more and he gets louder.
I am doing a lot of positive reinforcement for his good behaivor, giving high fives and hugs for all the good things that he does but not sure which direction to go with these constant through out our day meltdowns.

A very stern this is not how we act, one word directions on what he could say instead of screaming, explain that you can't understand the problem when he is screaming, stickers for being able to pull himself together quickly after redirection, hugs and praise when he is able to pull himself together.

Once he is able to pull himself together quickly with these directions up the anti by changing the expectations to not throwing tantrums in the first place.

Something happened to trigger this. You may never know but it is important to do some serious thinking and talking with the parents about any changes big or small that happened prior to the beginning of this behavior.

The parents need to be on board with this form of 'correction' too. consistency is key.

If ignoring the behavior isn't working after a few weeks of starting, more action is needed in order to correct the behaviour

Remember that this child is not even two yet so use language they can understand when redirecting. Also slow your speech down and lower your voice. Lower speech help calm children and slow speech helps understand (This can be impaired when children are REALLY upset)

Thanks flexfuncare ~ I've been checking to see if anyone replied. Thanks for the help!!
You really think something might have happened to cause his mini meltdowns..not just the upcoming 'terrible twos'

It's a fine line because if he gets attention for the behaviour it could just magnify it, but you HAVE to deal with it! Do you have a timeout system in your daycare or how do you handle behaviour issues? I talk to the parents about EVERYTHING like this and tell them that it cannot be tolerated and that they want their child to learn how to behave properly so they can grow into a wonderfully behaved child and adult. You cannot just ignore him completely, but hopefully it is a phase because he doesn't feel well right now as you mentioned. I would definitely remove privileges and teach him that it is not acceptable. I do use timeouts but keeping in mind that toddlers have the attention of a fruitfly, so they are very short, but I talk to them sternly about the problem and don't let them go play again until they promise to be 'nice'.

I talked to the parents tonight to find out how things are being handled at home ~ we need to be on the same page to correct his behavior. They are great...want to mirror what I am.

I'm not big on time outs as my experience in the past has only been that the little ones like to swing around in the chair or step. This little guy is so young I wonder if he is really going to know the reason behind his time out.

I have been firm telling him that he is not to act like it and hopes that it doesn't cause him to think of it as getting more attention. I only have 3 in my care right now so he gets a lot of time with me and being an only child he gets showered. Hope this too shall pass.
Thanks ladies. It's quite the melt down!! Just wanted to make sure that I'm on the right track

I'm still new with only 2 years under my belt and want to do right by this little person

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Originally Posted by jec

Thanks flexfuncare ~ I've been checking to see if anyone replied. Thanks for the help!!
You really think something might have happened to cause his mini meltdowns..not just the upcoming 'terrible twos'

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Terrible twos don't come on like a storm, It's more like a slight drizzle that turns into a hurricane over time.

A sudden onset of these behaviors is a big red flag that something has thorn the child off. Now, that being said, it could be anything from a slight change in schedule to the unthinkable. It's usually hard to figure out unless its the latter of the two as things that we can easily adapt to might not be as simple to a one year old.

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Originally Posted by jec

I'm not big on time outs as my experience in the past has only been that the little ones like to swing around in the chair or step. This little guy is so young I wonder if he is really going to know the reason behind his time out.

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A one year is not exactly capable of sitting and contemplating why the time out happened but they sure as heck know that they did something wrong and are sitting out as a result (doesn't matter if they play with the carpet, they are still 'out') I start time outs at 16 months. Not for EVERYTHING mind you but definitely for aggression and such. Let me tell you they learn QUICK!

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Originally Posted by jec

I'm still new with only 2 years under my belt and want to do right by this little person

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Last one I SWEAR!!!!

Don't think that your lack of years in the field limits you ability to do right by the children. Give yourself a little credit.

Totally agree with above posters.... it is a fine line between truly "ignoring" and showing them that their actions will not get them the attention they are seeking.
Given what you have described (ie; looking for your reaction as he puts it in his mouth) I would say he is absolutely "testing" his boundaries. Just stay consistent, and be glad that the parents seem to be doing the same.

I love your 3 posts Cadillac! It's so true that a 2 year old must be under control BEFORE the terrible twos! I have a 23 month old boy in my care who is the sweetest most wonderful little guy. But he's had short timeouts nonstop for the past couple of months, mostly because he isn't listening to me when I tell him to stop something or come to me when we are outside. These instructions are very important for safety reasons and he needs to know NOW I mean business when I give him an instruction. I sit him out of the play for less than a minute, repeat to him what he did wrong at least 3 times while he's sitting there looking at his friends playing, then let him go with one more warning. I know it works because I've done it with my own children and my daycare children for 4 years now.

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Originally Posted by Cadillac

Last one I SWEAR!!!!

Don't think that your lack of years in the field limits you ability to do right by the children. Give yourself a little credit.

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Thanks for the advice and support!

He is so testing me..I just had to look at him today when he had something in his mouth and then walked right up to me to hand me the toy. He must have handed me at least 10 toys today!! :blink: Mmmm.....not too effective taking the toy away is it!
His outbreaks just seemed to have started on a Monday with me and chatted with both parents about any changes like it was mentioned before and they said that they have noticed that he has been having little outbursts.
I am confident in my ability as a daycare provider ( not babysitter ;) ) but this little guy has some serious meltdowns that I've never come across...until now! I'm always open to learning or trying something new

OK so time outs~ I'm coming across more parents that don't believe in them. I totally agree with you momof4 for safety reasons...when the little ones need to know that we mean business for their own saftey then I agree with it.

Well, I guess I just believe in the consistency rule of behaviour for children so I'll stick with timeouts. If anybody has a better idea I'd love to hear it!

I have a 15 month old boy who is putting everything in his mouth and drooling on my couch until it is drool soaked by noon if we have an inside morning and it's completely grossing me out, but he can't help it, he's teething. I'm so tired of saying 'no toys in your mouth' 100 million times a day! I have a 23 month old with his fingers in his mouth all day because his molars are coming in poor guy, but he's drooling too and getting germs in his mouth all the time, ewwwwww.

I don't give them timeouts for this behaviour by the way, that's just natural. However, when there is bad behaviour or non-listening for the 23 month old there is a time out. I don't give 15 month old children a time out, I guess I start that at about 20 months or older when they understand what it's all about.

I believe in being consistant with correcting behaviour too. I think time outs depend upon the child and how they respond to them. What works for one, might not for another. I had a little one who liked to push and takes toys ....I have decided to try out a different method by being stern in my words that we don't push our friends and or take toys ~ you have to take turns. I'll get the one who pushed to give his friend a hug and give back the toy. the little one threw a few toys and I'd wait until he picked it up and made him give it back to the little one he took it from.
The reason I"m trying this method is I had I've had a few problems with time outs. I had one little one- the one I'm talking about above, time outs didn't phase him- he would get out of his time out and do it again, go back into time out, do it again, go back into time out. Circle in his chair- spit while in his chair. it wan't being effective. I tried making him more accountable for his actions above and I really saw a difference in him. However like someone said before, I've had to put someone out in a time out when at the park so they understood that they have to listen to me for saftey reasons.

It is nasty the constant drooling and thankfully my litlte ones almost have all their teeth! We might just throw a party once they are all in-lol!