Please put me at ease...

I had an interview on Monday. Great people and little boy is a super chilled out guy. During the interview they asked me about a police check. I am super honest with everyone so I gave them the response I give everyone that police clearance certificates are out of date the minute you get them. I explained that it would cost me a fortune if every time someone called for an interview I paid for a new more up to date certificate, so I don't. I offered them like everyone else the option that I would have a check done at their expense but that it would belong to me as it is a personal document about me and that while they want to see that it is clear, it would ultimately belong to me. They were fine with this and also that my husband was also comfortable with this arrangement.

They called yesterday dinner time and I missed their call just having checked my messages now and they said they wanted to take the next steps to have their son join my daycare....

Now here is the thing. In the message she said that she trusts that I haven't committed a felony in the last 12months but would like to have the check done for my husband. Should I feel uncomfortable with this? It's not about them running the check on him as I was the one who offered it but the fact that they don't want an up to date police check done on the person who is alone with their child for 4 days/40 hours a week but want one for someone who is generally out of the house five days a week from 5am to 7 or 8pm and will likely not even be here during regular hours more than once a month or two. I just question this woman's thinking and wonder whether I am justified in thinking this way or if I should just get over it and not make something out of nothing???

I would do it. I think her thinking is probably along the lines of males being more likely to be an offender (sexual, physical etc). As unfair as this is, it is supported by stats and the reality is if there is nothing to hide and you already said you would do one then do it. It will put the mom at ease. Plus is sounds like you have a yr old check available to them and I am guessing there is no check on your husband.

That is correct but my police check is out of date by a year and while for sure my husband doesn't have one and it will put them at ease, I find the attitude a little lax towards my one year old certificate.

I have had people ask if my husband has had a police check, as well. He works with the school board, so when I mention this, parents are put at ease knowing A)he's had a police check, and B)he also works around children. I wouldn't worry about their thinking. They were probably satisfied that you were willing to have a police check and just want to know that the other adult in the house is trustworthy.

When I started my daycare both my husband and myself had our police checks done. Yes, they are out of date and I would have no problem updating the certificate should it be a deal breaker if I don't for a prospective client. I feel it is a part of our documentation as a daycare and should thereby be a business expense for us.
I haven't had a parent ask about a police check, though I do tell them we have had them done when we opened. It is funny no one has asked to see it.
So I wouldn't be concerned about your clients asking for the check for your hubby. They are just crossing their T's and dotting their I's before they come on board. As for you? You are busy running a daycare, who has the time to commit a felony? LOL

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Originally Posted by mimi

As for you? You are busy running a daycare, who has the time to commit a felony? LOL

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Haha! :laugh:

Thanks for the reassurance. I too agree Mimi that it is a necessary document for daycare and the reason why I asked for reassurance was on the off chance I was overthinking things and I think I am. If I had the time to commit a felony, I'd use the time to get my hair done lol

I don't think it's a big deal. My SO is my back up as he works evenings so of course the parents ask about him. He works for our school division so he has all his papers up to date, it is me that doesn't lol. They all feel better seeing and knowing this. If you have nothing to hide I don't find it a big deal. I would want to see this stuff if it was me as the parent.

Mine is so out of date the paper has probably yellowed but I can also give references that overlap - ie no gaps in care back over 10 years which is more than the police check covers anyways. I always explain to a family that if I had committed a crime - and that it only includes convictions not accusations that parents would have left my care and/or my own children would have been removed from my home. Generally that is enough to satisfy most parents. The ones that are still sticklers I put that in my negative list and don't accept them - it usually means they are listening to too much propaganda type messages and would not be a good fit for a home that operates with a more old fashion framework anyways.

It may be that the family is using this same wisdom in not needing you to have a current check but since there is no history that can verify your husband then they are asking for one for him. I also tend to stay away from the families that seem uptight about my husband or my teenage son when he lived at home being around their kids because I don't need false accusations either.

I totally get what you are saying Playfelt but I don't believe this family is being uptight at all about my husband and genuinely believe they are within their rights otherwise I wouldn't have offered it as an option. I was just simply questioning whether I was reading into things from the wrong angle thinking if the parents attitude towards my out of date police check was too lax. I think as people who have said about my husband having no paper trail, that this is why they are wanting something from him and not me.

If your husband isn't providing the care, then I wouldn't do it.

Would they be willing to provide YOU with one? Would they agree to a police check on themselves....after all you are allowing them to come into your home.

It was one of my agency's requirements that my husband have one.

I would if a parent asked and were willing to pay for it. He's occasionally around and not that he's ever alone with the kids when he is, but if the parents would feel more comfortable if he had one it's fine by me. I'd rather that than a parent see him home one day and get weirded out and ask their kids probing questions.

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Originally Posted by Blackcat3168

If your husband isn't providing the care, then I wouldn't do it.

Would they be willing to provide YOU with one? Would they agree to a police check on themselves....after all you are allowing them to come into your home.

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Why would they need to provide me with a police check? I am not leaving my children in their care or having them around any of the children so it's not comparable. My husband lives here and is someone who is regularly around their child, although not so munch recently with long work hours, so of course they would want some kind off security and piece of mind with regards to who their child will be in the company of on a regular basis when they are not present. Obviously the police check can be out of date and be ineffective in my opinion but at least if up to date can be helpful in determining someone's history. I allow the child into my home not the parents. They come in one time for an interview, after that they do not get past my hallway, EVER!

To decline the request of the parent is to imply in their minds that I or we have something to hide. Have you ever had a child in daycare Blackcat? I have had both of my children in care years ago and it was something that reassured me although it was much more efficient where I am from, as there was a reference number attached to every individual and whenever there was an incident involving the police it would automatically be recorded on your back ground check and anyone with this number could call up and get up to date background check info. I am pretty sure that if I gave the response you described, that it would be a deal breaker and a red flag for them and a very slim chance that they would leave their child with me.

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Originally Posted by 2cuteboys

It was one of my agency's requirements that my husband have one.

I would if a parent asked and were willing to pay for it. He's occasionally around and not that he's ever alone with the kids when he is, but if the parents would feel more comfortable if he had one it's fine by me. I'd rather that than a parent see him home one day and get weirded out and ask their kids probing questions.

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I'm right their with you. This is my husbands home also and he shouldn't have to walk around in the background or shadows for fear of how e will be rice ex by dcp's but at the same time it's not okay for a parent to feel uncomfortable around my family members if their is something they can do to calm these concerns. It's not like a clearance certificate has any personal info on it either. It just says no incident recorded and his name and home address so it's not like it includes anything you would want to keep from someone. If someone declined to oblige my request for a police check if I was in the opposite role, I would end the interview right there and then, as clearly they have no respect for my need to be reassured as a parent leaving my most treasured thing in life, MY CHILD, in the care of complete strangers.

Quote Originally Posted by mimi:
As for you? You are busy running a daycare, who has the time to commit a felony? LOL

OMG ahaha! So true LOL

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Originally Posted by bright sparks

Why would they need to provide me with a police check? I am not leaving my children in their care or having them around any of the children so it's not comparable. My husband lives here and is someone who is regularly around their child, although not so munch recently with long work hours, so of course they would want some kind off security and piece of mind with regards to who their child will be in the company of on a regular basis when they are not present. Obviously the police check can be out of date and be ineffective in my opinion but at least if up to date can be helpful in determining someone's history. I allow the child into my home not the parents. They come in one time for an interview, after that they do not get past my hallway, EVER!

To decline the request of the parent is to imply in their minds that I or we have something to hide. Have you ever had a child in daycare Blackcat? I have had both of my children in care years ago and it was something that reassured me although it was much more efficient where I am from, as there was a reference number attached to every individual and whenever there was an incident involving the police it would automatically be recorded on your back ground check and anyone with this number could call up and get up to date background check info. I am pretty sure that if I gave the response you described, that it would be a deal breaker and a red flag for them and a very slim chance that they would leave their child with me.

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Yes, I have had child in child care. In both a center and a family child care.

I am in the U.S. so obviously things work very differently here than they do there and as a licensed provider, I have one background check done by my licensing agency BEFORE I am allowed to even care for kids. This background check includes ALL members of my family over the age of 13. This check is re-done every two years at the time of my license re-newal.

Parents in my state can not request additional background check on me or anyone in my family any more than I have the right to ask them for one.

Also, child care homes are all set up differently and many providers allow their clients into their homes (past the hallway) and even as far as staying and interacting with other kids so I was not aware of how your home was set up and that you don't allow your parents in very far.

I'm sorry my advice wasn't helpful and my opinion not useful to you.

It's definitely useful to learn that you are in the States. On this forum you will find the majority are from Ontario, and most others across Canada. I think you are only the third US provider I have come across on this forum since joining 2 1/2 years ago when the forum got up and running. I can only speak for Ontario providers, not other provinces, but there is no licensing in our province so there is no pre screening that is mandatory unless you sign up with an agency which is from my impression little more than a referral agent providing a dcp with more restrictions and issues than help. It would be helpful if your location was posted, as Playfelt requests on a regular basis, as in cases like this it's quick for people to assume a poster is from Canada as this is a Canadian forum and is aware of the laws and regulations and if we new otherwise then we could respond and comment more accordingly.

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Originally Posted by bright sparks

It's definitely useful to learn that you are in the States. On this forum you will find the majority are from Ontario, and most others across Canada. I think you are only the third US provider I have come across on this forum since joining 2 1/2 years ago when the forum got up and running. I can only speak for Ontario providers, not other provinces, but there is no licensing in our province so there is no pre screening that is mandatory unless you sign up with an agency which is from my impression little more than a referral agent providing a dcp with more restrictions and issues than help. It would be helpful if your location was posted, as Playfelt requests on a regular basis, as in cases like this it's quick for people to assume a poster is from Canada as this is a Canadian forum and is aware of the laws and regulations and if we new otherwise then we could respond and comment more accordingly.

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Makes sense. :)
I didn't realize that there were so few members here from the US.
I didn't see where/how I could edit my profile to state where I was from but I think I figured it out now.