Parents making themselves at home

I have been a daycare provider for 5 years now and only now have run into this! I had a mother of a little boy I watch ask me for his diaper bag on pick up. I told her it was upstairs in my room. (As this is where her son sleeps and gets changed. She is aware of where he sleeps) So she said, "great, I will get it." and goes upstairs... into my BEDROOM and grabs the bag... I tell her at the same time "it's okay, I can get it" but she doesn't listen and goes up with me.. Any thoughts on this???? My husband is very upset about it. Her son has been coming to my daycare for about a month now.


My husband wants me to tell her that she is only to come to the door.

What is your policy and how would you deal with this situation?

Thanks

Parents need to respect my words and my property. It's a 3 strike policy and you're out!

I would just let her know that this is not allowed, and that it makes you and your family uncomfortable. If she cannot respect you as an individual - then there's no respect for your family, home and business.

I'm sort of confused. Do you use your bedroom as part of the dayhome?

I feel that a parent should be able to walk into any space used for the dayhome. That's why I love having very clear separate boundaries for my home and my dayhome. My entire upstairs is off-limits to daycare kids, daycare parents, and the agency I am with. My entire basement is used for the dayhome and my daycare parents are more than welcome to come into the basement if they so wish.

If you are uncomfortable with her walking into your bedroom (and any other part of your house), you should let her know. More than likely, she'll respect your boundaries. :)

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Originally Posted by CountryMommy

I'm sort of confused. Do you use your bedroom as part of the dayhome?

I feel that a parent should be able to walk into any space used for the dayhome. That's why I love having very clear separate boundaries for my home and my dayhome. My entire upstairs is off-limits to daycare kids, daycare parents, and the agency I am with. My entire basement is used for the dayhome and my daycare parents are more than welcome to come into the basement if they so wish.

If you are uncomfortable with her walking into your bedroom (and any other part of your house), you should let her know. More than likely, she'll respect your boundaries. :)

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I have to completely agree with countryMommy on this one. I have in my contract that parents are allowed to drop in at anytime and can access any part of my day home their children have access to, while their child is in my care.

I do use my upstairs for naptime but I use my guest room and shut all other room doors. Try and put yourself in your client’s shoes their precious child is sleeping in your room, have they seen it before? Who has access to that room while their child is sleeping?

Why would it disrupt your family was your husband napping while she entered?

Yes it’s your private room but it can’t be thought of as private if her child is sleeping there.

Is there a way you can get a divider in the room to separate the playpen during daycare hours?

I do think she was bold for getting it herself but maybe she has reservations about her child sleeping in your room.

If it's being used for daycare kids napping then that parent should freely be able to access it. I have a separate daycare area where obviously licensing is free and parents are free to go...but on the rare occasion I go up stairs to my home I always prepare for the unexpected parents to ask to go upstairs and look around or my licensing officer to pop in. That's the name of the game. There is no privacy if your using your home as a daycare. I would suggest finding another room for napping and keeping your bedroom private/door closed.

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Originally Posted by CountryMommy

I'm sort of confused. Do you use your bedroom as part of the dayhome?

I feel that a parent should be able to walk into any space used for the dayhome. That's why I love having very clear separate boundaries for my home and my dayhome. My entire upstairs is off-limits to daycare kids, daycare parents, and the agency I am with. My entire basement is used for the dayhome and my daycare parents are more than welcome to come into the basement if they so wish.

If you are uncomfortable with her walking into your bedroom (and any other part of your house), you should let her know. More than likely, she'll respect your boundaries. :)

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Thanks for the reply. Basement, main floor and backyard are used as a daycare. I have the kids nap upstairs and told her I would be putting them in my room for naps.

She did this also before when they were sleeping in the office. I also found her trying to open my door to the front part of the house to come in. I keep that locked as have little ones that can open it.

My husband wasn't home from work yet.

Thanks! Yes they can come into my home at any time and into the backyard or anywhere on the main floor right now but the charging upstairs part kind of made me take a a double take on things.
The upstairs is for napping only.

My upstairs is off limits even during interviews and if a parent can not envision that it doesn't matter what the colour of my room is or if I left my underwear on the floor by mistake that their child is napping in a packnplay in that room then they are not the family for me. This is not a daycare centre it is a home and I am entitled to my privacy. There is a fine line between our homes as a place of business and our lives as private. And yes I use my room for naps because there is more room in there so sometimes even two playpens. Also my own children's rooms were used last not first. Older children all nap on the main floor (dining room playroom). When I first started daycare I gave the complete tour of my home like I was taking potential buyers around but over the years for various reasons - child sick or busy doing homework in their room or had friends over up there whatever, I stopped showing off the upper floor. They see the main floor, basement and yard only. As I said for most parents this enough and for those it isn't I'm ok with them not joining my daycare. What I found was those that insisted on finding excuses to check other places were also the kind that were skeptical about everything we did and I was always having to justify stuff from meals to schedule to whatever. They wanted to control too much. Being general here but that is over many years of interviewing and dealing with parents so not just a generalization.

I would be mortified if a parent went to my upstairs... It's the "neglected" part of our home because it takes so much energy to keep up with the rest, that I NEED to be tidy, organized and free of clutter. It's hard to say though. I agree that if you're using your room for naps etc. the parent should be allowed to SEE it if she wants. Perhaps the room divider is a good compromise?

I don't think parents need to have access to bedrooms regardless if their child naps there.

This isn't a daycare center (as playfelt stated), this is a private home that provides childcare and rules are different. And yes these bedrooms can be thought of as private even if their child uses them for a 2 hour nap.

I use all 4 of my bedrooms and parents like it that each child has their own room. I'm fortunate that all my parents respect the fact that this is still my home and that although their child is here, I'm entitled to boundaries. No parent is allowed to wander throughout my house. They can enter the mainfloor play area where children spend 80% of their time and that's it.

You are most definitely able to maintain privacy in your home while running a daycare, I've done it.

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Originally Posted by zen39

This isn't a daycare center (as playfelt stated), this is a private home that provides childcare and rules are different. And yes these bedrooms can be thought of as private even if their child uses them for a 2 hour nap.

No parent is allowed to wander throughout my house. They can enter the mainfloor play area where children spend 80% of their time and that's it.

You are most definitely able to maintain privacy in your home while running a daycare, I've done it.

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zen and playfelt has said it perfectly. We run a business out of our homes, but that doesn't mean that parents are allowed anywhere!

My parents know that they are only allowed at the door (front hallway), unless I ask them to come in. They respect me, my home and my business.

I combat this issue by having all the kids' stuff ready and waiting at the door. If something has been forgotten, I will say "oh, I will grab it so you don't have to take your shoes off!!!". I also think that my body language is sort of "No Access", lol.
I think that if the parents would like to see where the child will be napping at the initial interview, that is reasonable. They need to know if their precious baby will be in a playpen from 1967, in a bedroom with a bunch of decorative swords loosely mounted on the wall, hahahaha. They will see everywhere that the child might be on my "tour".
After that, my home is my HOME and not their personal domain. They chose home daycare, over a center setting. That means they respect my rules and privacy. I keep them at the doorway when they pick up and drop off!

Yep, their bags are at the door and ready to go!

I have one parent that does walk right into the house if the door happens to be unlocked without knocking! It is a bit irritating and now I try to remember to keep it locked at all times!! A few times, I have spun around because I can feel someone watching me and there she is!

But never has a parent gone upstairs on their own....nope, that is for strictly napping, storage of supplies (diapers/extra clothes) and my family's space. I usually keep a child's gate across the top of the stairs anyway that is difficult to unlock (for both children and parents and my pup too!!) :)