Parents that make our day longer!

I have ranted about this in the past and have gotten better with it. For some reason when parents talk and talk at pick time I feel bad saying I have to go!! Ugh in my head I tell myself "say you have to go say it!!" and only now have I started. I have one parent who likes to talk for 25 mins on a good day and 45 mins on a bad day. I have just figured out the reason she stays for so long is bc she wait for the bus which she can wait for outside my home.

She comes in gives her son a bottle (22 months) puts him in the stroller to drink it, while he is drinking she talks until he finishes his bottle, son demands to be picked up after the bottle so she does, she will than talk about all kinds of stuff that I don't need or care to know!

I don't know if this has happend to anyone but your talking to the parent and they start completely ignoring you by talking baby talk with their child!!!!!

I told her last week I had to go but she still lingered and asked why!!

Can someone please please help me! I don't mind talking for 5-10 mins but come on :mad:

I have the odd parent want to small talk at the end of the day, but nothing like you've had....45 minutes??? That's outrageous!!
When they take too long to go, I just open the door and say that I have to get back to the other children and see you tomorrow. If they are the last ones, I tell them that I have to get supper going, as we have things to do tonight. It usually works.
I would say to be firm and open the door, tell her you have to get back to the other children and you will see them tomorrow. If you actually open the door then she will have no choice but to leave. I would also try to have the child ready to go when she comes, so you can just hand him over and she doesn't have the chance to linger.

Thank you :) I will try the super quote tonight lol I don't know why she makes me feel bad for amking her go early but she will talk for 45 mins and the only time she leaves ASAP is if she is trying to catch the last minute bus.

As for getting the kid ready OH GOD I have had him in the stroller ready to go if he fusses and wants out she will put him out, if I have winter coat on she will literally take it off bc the kid doesn't like the coat on until they get out side!!!!

The best part is 2 weeks ago her son would point to the daycare toys and she would waltz right in and let him play and make a mess all over again (I cleaned up as he was the last kid leaving). She use to leave and come back 10-20 mins later if he took a poop bc monsieur cant wait to get home ps bus ride home is 10-15 min

This little boy is so much work he makes him self throw up if no one pays attention today and then I have the the. I almost have a stoke 3 times today bc I thought he was choking meanwhile the fingures have drool all over them

Are you kidding me! She would come back to change him!!! That is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard. I would not answer the door.

Also if he throws up he goes home. No matter what the reason.

I hope you can set some clear boundaries with this parent. She needs to go at closing time. You need to quit being such a pushover.

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You need to quit being such a pushover.

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Exactly. She can only do it if you enable her.

Seriously!! U need to be direct here. She opens the door to come in at pick up time the boy is ready u hand him over and tell her quickly about his day then say I can't talk I need to get to supper as I'm out tonight stand at the open door and gesture her out. If she doesn't get the hint....literary say SORRY I AM CLOSED. MY DAY IS LONG ENOUGH AND ITS MY FREE TIME NOW, ILL HAVE TO ASK YOU TO LEAVE. Time to b mean here. This is enough with this parent. What's the worst that can happen?? She takes her business elewhere? Good.....bye bye. Fill her spot with someone who respects u!!

When she came back to change him I already had other kids here, what was I suppose to say?
She picks up at 5-5:30 and I close at six so technically she isn't here by closing time.
I have a narrow hallway and she brings a stroller so theres only room for one person in the door way and I cant get behind here to open the door bc she takes up all the space lol I followed the advice and told her I had to make super and she still talked for 25 mins.

I put the kid in the stroller and she pulls him out bc he wants up when she gets here or he has a bottle in the stroller and she talks the whole time he is drinking. I said I had to go 3 times yesterday!!!!!! and still pick up was 25 mins.

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Originally Posted by TinyTwigs

When she came back to change him I already had other kids here, what was I suppose to say?
She picks up at 5-5:30 and I close at six so technically she isn't here by closing time.
I have a narrow hallway and she brings a stroller so theres only room for one person in the door way and I cant get behind here to open the door bc she takes up all the space lol I followed the advice and told her I had to make super and she still talked for 25 mins.

I put the kid in the stroller and she pulls him out bc he wants up when she gets here or he has a bottle in the stroller and she talks the whole time he is drinking. I said I had to go 3 times yesterday!!!!!! and still pick up was 25 mins.

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It takes a long time to untrain a person. If you have continually said I need to go but not followed through then saying I need to go means little. It is so hard to be firm, direct, mean but you will have to if you want change. You listed a ton of excuses as to why you allowed her to control the situation. Her stroller in the way of the door is an excuse to keep things the same not a block to make things change.

Start with an email to the mom. Let her know exactly how next pick up will go. No stroller in the house (put it outside if it is there during the day), no bottle, no coming to change the child's clothes. Tell her you will have child ready to go when she arrives, will spend 2minutes filling her in on any needed details.

You may not close until 6pm BUT that is your working hours. Tell you need have those 30minutes after she leaves to clean, cook and prepare activities. It is NOT social time. You are still on the clock.

What ever you send her in the email NEEDS to be followed through with in person. Otherwise, there will be no change. She has been trained to think she can come and use up your time and take over your house. You need to set things straight and it will not be easy or pleasant. If you chooses to leave your daycare, make sure you get off on the right foot with the next family. Good luck

A parent like that would drive me crazy. I would be so annoyed I would say bye and walk away. I would just go do what you have to do and not pay attention to her. When she talks say "what" lots so she gets sick of repeating herself. Say sorry, but it's hard to listen and do what you need to do at the same time. I would start looking for someone else who picks up their kid and leaves too in the meantime.

So do you still have other kids when she picks up? I would hand over baby, say had a good/bad day, see you tomorrow, I have to go and turn around and leave. She won't keep talking if you are not there to engage in the conversation. If she follows you back into the home then you really have an issue and you need to be totally clear with her. If she has left the home you should not open it back up for her or does she just come in?

My parents are allowed to just come in to pick up their child but once they leave any who need to come back (forgot something) always knock.

I had 1 mom who was similar to yours but not to that extreme. Our daughters were best friends and we would often chat and some days it would be a long time. On the days we were outside at pickup and I wasn't in the mood to talk I would just tell my daughter it was time to go in as we are in a hurry today. If we were downstairs and she was the last one I would start turning out lights.

You need to stop this behavior and stop it now. Yes you will come off as rude to her but there is no other way. She isn't getting it and you are enabling her

Arrgghh:mad: I know I can be a push over and I really need to work on that. I am going to try again tonight and see what happens. Everyone makes it seem so simple and it is but I don't know why it seems so hard in person!

She knocked bc I always lock the door once someone leaves and she came back after ten minutes. I opened the door and she said her kids needs to be changed and offered to do it.

She is in a pretty good habit of using my washroom and one time I told her she can't use it bc I had a kid in the potty as I was potty training. She was like "Oh I'll wait". Like what the hell the do I say.

She is good when I have other kids bc I started walking away but when I am the last one I don't know what say bc I have to go isn't working

Maybe you need to go somewhere after work then? Then you have more of an excuse because you are actually going somewhere. You seem like you don't want to hurt her feelings? Once she has left lock the door and don't answer it. She has a stroller to change him in or can lay him on the grass. There is no need to come back to your house.

Seriously if she is the last one just say we'll have a good night and walk away! She can show herself out. If she follows you then you need to have a serious talk with her.

I'd do that. Say bye and walk somewhere else in the house out of sight wait for her to leave then lock door. If she comes back don't answer it. If she follows u say no u need to go my day is done thank u. If she yells while u walk away to try to talk don't answer her. The silence should give her the hint. Good luck!! Don't worry about her feelings. Respect ur home and ur self and set her straight. Ugh.....can I come do it for u? Hahaha

I find sometimes it's easier to send out a group email to your clients. Maybe explaining that you appreciate their business, however, as you are also a mother/wife, etc., at the end of the day you have things to do and would appreciate if pick ups were short and sweet. I have done this in the past when I was trying to get a message across but was having a hard time being direct with one of my clients. She might not get so offended, but still get the message.

When emailing my clients, I usually give a positive for a negative, trying not to make it seem like professional and not offending the parents. i.e., I usually end it saying, "again, thank you for being so understanding".

I do a group email or message in the newsletter too when I need to address an uncomfortable situation. I hate confrontation and just find it easier.

It is definitely easy to say "tell her goodbye and walk away" but in person, it can be harder, especially when you see her everyday. Good luck!!

How did today go?

So have you managed to get mom to leave faster?

I have!! When I have more kids it's easy I just pick one up and say oh the parents are coming gotta goooo!!! Lol I actually kind of feel bad for this women bc I really feel that she doesn't have any friends and I don't want to hurt her feelings. We she picks up I give her 5 mins and I start talking to the child "have a good night and I will see you tomorrow" and I push my way through the door and open it for her lol

One day she asked me if she can one day earlier and I said sure and than she said that shes going to kill her family lol I KNEW she wanted to start a conversation and I didn't say anything other than oh boy family can be hard sometimes....5 secs later she told me the story.....So than I started talking about my family lol!!!! It is so amazing how quickly she left after I started talking!!

I was like you wanna talk NOW we re going to talk....the next day I talked about Bill 10 for 30 mins and needless to say she never starts longer than 5 mins at pick up time hahaha!!!!

Thank you for your help :)