Nap help please!!!

Hi ladies, I'm hoping one of you out there can give me some words of wisdom. I have a dcg that just turned 2. I've had her in my care since she was about 15 months. Her mother warned me she wasn't a very good napper in the beginning, but I wasn't overly concerned as I've never had an issue with eventually getting children to nap successfully (especially one so young). Well, fast forward 9 months and I'm at my witts end!!! I've tried everything with this girl: occasional soothing, crying it out, etc. I recently tried moving her back into the nap room (she was segregated to her own room) in hopes that she would feel more secure with the other children there (all napping soundly!), but she would have none of it! She sometimes cries, sometimes sings and jumps in her playpen, sometimes shouts out for me or her mother, once she pooped and played in it. I just don't know what to do! I don't want her spoiling nap for the other kids and I definitely need some down time without my blood pressure being through the roof! Of course, she is otherwise a fantastic child and the mother is sooo kind (always thanking me and gushing with praise), so I don't want to term, but .... I can't take it for much longer!!! Help please!!!

How do you do nap time? What activity comes before, and how is she put down?

Just from what you wrote, I'd go back to having her separate, and keep a very consistent routine (including what you do if she makes noise). The one problem napper I've encountered (I've been very lucky!) I moved to a floor bed (mattress on floor in a child proofed room) at 14mo and just kept walking him back to the bed if he got up, and if he cried I would give him a hug or pat til he calmed, then say I'd be back after nap time, and leave. I was very consistent, even if that's all I did for an hour, and now he's my best napper (goes right in and curls up, needs to be woken up for snack). To this day (23 months old) he has never napped for anyone else unless they slept with him or wore him. His parents wanted me to wear him, and I'm so glad I tried harder. Someone here gave the advice "begin as you intend to finish" and that plays through my head all the time!

I would move the child back to a separate room with a fan or noise machine .... Put the child down and walk away .... Don't go back till nap time is over .... Going back could be causing the crying to escalate....

If she plays with poo then you could try putting her in a sleepsuit fastened at the back to prevent this. Aside from that, I think you maybe need to lower your expectations a little. That doesn't mean being passive, but simply accepting that not all kids are good nappers, and there is only so much you can do to make a child sleep. What you can control is how you react.

Move back to a separate room and alter the expectation of having her join the others. Don't even make it a goal. Put her down and leave her to it. If she cries the entire naptime, sings, jumps up and down etc etc, just leave her. If it is attention she is after because she gets it at home, then she will learn quickly that she won't get it. Might take a little long at first because of her age and because right now you do go in from time to time, but you need to quite literally ignore her. If she is in a position where she NEEDS you, you will hear the difference in her cry, but otherwise under no circumstances go back into the room until naptime is over.

I have a little one who only sleeps 1 hour maximum. When she wakes she sings, talks, jumps around, throws her blanket and soother out and then cries. It's fine she can do that, I am downstairs and she is upstairs safely in her playpen. She almost never acts out now because she knows I don't respond. If she makes a bit of a racket some days I treat it as though it is none of my business because she is doing her thing. I don't need to soothe her in those moments and if she cries the entire naptime then she will learn by association via my response how that action does or doesn't help her.

Her making noise in a separate room seems to be an irritant for you and I do get it. But...you need to figure out ways to ignore it and maybe realize that there is nothing to be done about it. Is a singing child really going to stop you from having some downtime? I know everybody's house is laid out differently, but try to place her as far away from you in the house as possible. Also as the child gets older and understands this is unacceptable behaviour...screamin g and shouting and jumping vigorously for example, I may depending on the child go in and tell them off. Sometimes a short sharp No in a raised voice can get them to check themselves. If nothing else it might quieten her down for a while before she forgets and starts again lol

For children like this or those just having off days, I love my Roku 3, I don't have cable. It has a headphone jack and naptime becomes a dream with this feature :)

Good Luck!
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Sorry, should have clarified: I tried the occasional soothing many months ago when the CIO wasn't working. Since then, I just ignore her, though it stresses me out to do so. We always have the same routine: lots of stories in a dim room, then everyone gets their blanket and stuffy, gets a hug and then lays down. I do have a white noise machine in both rooms.
I'm not prepared to relinquish my "break" , so I guess I'll just have to suck it up and tolerate the crying. Thanks!

Get a video monitor so that you can watch her without going in to make sure she isn't up to no good. And yep let her be

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Originally Posted by hockey mom

Sorry, should have clarified: I tried the occasional soothing many months ago when the CIO wasn't working. Since then, I just ignore her, though it stresses me out to do so. We always have the same routine: lots of stories in a dim room, then everyone gets their blanket and stuffy, gets a hug and then lays down. I do have a white noise machine in both rooms.
I'm not prepared to relinquish my "break" , so I guess I'll just have to suck it up and tolerate the crying. Thanks!

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Maybe try putting this girl down for a nap without the story time. Maybe it is too much stimulation for her prior to going to sleep. If the white noise machine isn't working then I would also remove it from the room. Aside from that it may simply be that you have to figure out a way to ignore it and not let it get to you as much...easier said than done right. I think we are all on board with you when it comes to not giving up your break. It's hardly a break at the best of times anyway with tidy up and activity prep. Good Luck!

Is she still in a playpen for nap? I would suggest, if she's in another room from the other kids and she's likely going to stay awake anyway, maybe give her some stuffed animals or board books to play with. This isn't something I have tried, so I don't know if it would get the quiet time you are looking for, but if she could keep herself entertained, and not throwing them around the room, maybe that would be the answer. I would try it with 2-3 stuffies and a couple of books that are "hers" to stay in her bed. Like a special thing, just for her. I know it sounds like a reward for bad behaviour, but maybe it would be more like meeting her halfway. Well, that's a lot of maybes, lol. I hope it works out for you, one way or the other.

Unfortunately, some kids are just crappy nappers :( I totally get that you want a break and I would continue to work towards her napping since she's still quite young and IMO, needs it. However, she may never become a napper and in that case, I'd have her stay in her bed for at least 30 minutes to get a break and then to decrease frustration and anxiety for all, I'd allow her to be with me doing quiet activities (colouring, reading, puzzles, tv etc)

I may be in the minority but I strongly feel that each child is different and won't always fit into my "normal" routine/schedule. There are times that we have to adapt our way of doing things. I completely understand wanting and needing a break but I also understand the job I signed up for when opening a hdc. It's not ideal but where else do you get a 2 hour break anyways right? Lol

Keep on working towards a nap but also realize it might not happen and have a plan ready for that. Good luck!!

Oh and also ask parents what they do at home. I had one who was a terrible napper and only within his last month here did I come to find out he had a heater on when he slept. That last month was bliss once I figured that out!! Lol

Well, I don't really get a "2 hour "break". I use the hour and a half to clean-up, prep activities and menu plans, and maybe do a load of laundry, if I'm lucky. I feel that we, as providers, have no job security, no benefits, no pension, no paid holidays, long hours, damage to our homes, etc. The very least I expect is that I have a small amount of time in my 10+ hour day where I can get a few things done without worrying about supervising a rambunctious 2 year old. I had much more time when I worked in the corporate world to do my online banking, zip out at lunch to get stuff done, etc. LOL. And while I agree that each child is different, I don't think expecting a 24 month old to have some down-time is wrong (especially in group care).

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Originally Posted by hockey mom

Well, I don't really get a "2 hour "break". I use the hour and a half to clean-up, prep activities and menu plans, and maybe do a load of laundry, if I'm lucky. I feel that we, as providers, have no job security, no benefits, no pension, no paid holidays, long hours, damage to our homes, etc. The very least I expect is that I have a small amount of time in my 10+ hour day where I can get a few things done without worrying about supervising a rambunctious 2 year old. I had much more time when I worked in the corporate world to do my online banking, zip out at lunch to get stuff done, etc. LOL. And while I agree that each child is different, I don't think expecting a 24 month old to have some down-time is wrong (especially in group care).

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I don't think anyone was suggesting that a 2 year old not have some down time, but down time looks different to different people. Down time just may not mean sleeping. Also, if the child is confined to a play pen, aside from the noise, I'm not sure why you wouldn't still be able to do what you have got to do?? I wouldn't get the kid up after 30 minutes, 2 years old is classic power play age, and I wouldn't ever allow the child to dictate my routine. I would however, as I have said previously, adjust my expectation that a child sleep. I don't call it nap time, I call it quiet time. I just have the expectation that children are in a play pen or on their toddler bed, and are quiet. If they are just altogether noisy, then they are seperated and ignored for the duration of naptime unless it is a necessity that I give them some attention.

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Originally Posted by hockey mom

Well, I don't really get a "2 hour "break". I use the hour and a half to clean-up, prep activities and menu plans, and maybe do a load of laundry, if I'm lucky. I feel that we, as providers, have no job security, no benefits, no pension, no paid holidays, long hours, damage to our homes, etc. The very least I expect is that I have a small amount of time in my 10+ hour day where I can get a few things done without worrying about supervising a rambunctious 2 year old. I had much more time when I worked in the corporate world to do my online banking, zip out at lunch to get stuff done, etc. LOL. And while I agree that each child is different, I don't think expecting a 24 month old to have some down-time is wrong (especially in group care).

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I never said expecting some down time is wrong....just pointed out that not every child is a napper. It sucks and I obviously totally get the frustration but it is what it is. We can't force children to nap.....but we can provide the environment for them to have quiet time. Personally, I'd rather have a child with me doing quiet activities instead of fooling around in their playpen for 2 hours. I just gave my suggestion.

I also completely understand not getting set breaks, holiday time, sick time, job security etc etc etc but again, IMO, I knew all that going into this so I don't hold that against anyone. This is the job I chose to do and there are cons to it...but the pros far outweigh them for me :)

I do sincerely hope that you find a method that works for you and the child and one that mom is okay with too. Good luck!!

I agree; its not that she's not sleeping that bothers me, I would be happy if she just quietly played with her bunny and baby; it's that she screams, jumps noisily in the playpen, sings at the top of her voice, etc. I have her in a separate room but I can literally hear her 2 floors down sometimes. Ugh! I guess I will just have to cross my fingers that her crappy nap routine doesn't spread to the other kids.:o

I would decide on a time that she needs to be in her playpen....30, 45, 60 minutes for example. After the allotted time, I'd get her and have quiet time with you. A 2 year old is young and IMO, to expect her to stay quiet for the whole nap time in a room by herself is unreasonable. I wouldn't want that behaviour waking the others either!!

it is good to keep an eye on them for safety reasons because you never know what they are up to and a playpen can be dangerous when they are in it for a long time and not sleeping

Video monitor, loud background fan (or noise machine), very dark room, and very consistent routine leading to nap. I had a difficult napper that became a huge napper and I seriously had like a 17 part nap routine that I carried her through (closing blinds, closing doors, turning on fan, putting this there etc etc with the other kids this was all done before they came in the room but with this child she needed to see the whole process to really cue her it was in fact time to sleep.

Other key things is to make sure you are getting her down before she is over tired. Maybe she needs to go down earlier than the others. If so, try finishing lunch and running her to her bed before you do everyone else's diapers etc.

You can't expect a young child to be quiet in bed but you can set the expectation that screaming out and singing really loudly is not acceptable. If you have a monitor you can usually use that to say something into the room. "it's time to sleep" "quiet down" etc might be a cue to stop those behaviors.