I have a 13 month old girl who is not a very good napper. I’ve recently got her sleeping in her own playpen in her own room away from everyone else because she is a screamer. This room has blackout curtains, & a white noise machine. When I put her down around 12:30-1, she sometimes screams for about 30 minutes, then only sleeps for about 30 minutes before she’s up crying again. I usually let her cry a bit after that & she does go back to sleep on her own. I have 3 Two year olds who also take some time to fall asleep, & usually fall asleep around 1-1:30. Lately I have been finally able to get her to sleep for about an hour & a half, sometimes 2 hours depending on when she falls asleep. We do have a strict nap/rest policy here, & for 45 minutes leading up to nap time there is also a consistent routine so everyone knows what to expect & what time it is. My other children don’t put up a fuss about having to “rest” because they know there is no alternative. Everyone rests.
This morning the mom of the 13 month old girl asked me if I could not let her sleep past an hour because she’s hard to put to sleep after. I didn’t really respond because I wanted to think of a reasonable response before I just agreed. The thing is, is that if I did do this she would just be coming out as everyone else is just falling asleep. Usually by the time everyone is all asleep at the same time I’m just getting a chance to eat my lunch & have my break. If I woke her up or let her out after her first sleep cycle, then I get about a 10 minute break (15 if I’m lucky). Also, when I used to take her out after only sleeping for 30 minutes she is quite cranky & makes the afternoon difficult for everyone because she is still tired.
I also know that there isn’t much of a routine at home & she “runs the show” at home from what I understand. I’m almost certain her lack of routine at home is the reason she’s hard to get to sleep at night because mom never lets her cry. She is picked up each time she whines, cries, or becomes remotely upset. She is not able to self-soothe & after having her for over a month I am just beginning to get her on a routine & begin to self-soothe (only a tiny bit, but some progress is better than nothing). I have also had problems with this parent expecting me to prioritize the needs of her one child over the needs of everyone which I did not put up with. I made it clear that this is a group setting & I will not prioritize the needs of one child over the needs of others.
What would you recommend I do/say here?