Originally Posted by
CrazyEight
To be honest, this job is not going to be my career. I know some of you plan on doing this for a long time coming, and I really wish that I could feel that way too, but it's just not enough for me. I went into this a year ago when my mat leave ended with my youngest, thinking I would do it for a few years until she is in school or at least 3 or so, and my older kids' daycare needs would be less.
I have three kids (6,4, almost 2) though, and a husband who manages a retail store, with hours ALL over the place. I cannot for the life of me find a job that doesn't require some evenings or weekends, all of which I can't apply for, since we have no family in the area to help with the kids. There's no daycare that I've ever found that would take 3 kids evenings and weekends (I certainly wouldn't!) and we wouldn't make enough to pay a babysitter on top of regular daycare costs. So I'm stuck. Even the most recent bank job that I found, for example, required Thursdays and Fridays until 8 and every Saturday. My husband works 1-2 evenings a week, with those days being different every week, and is required to work 3 out of 4 Saturdays and Sundays out the month. It's terrible, and very limiting to what I can do.
My husband claims he's sick of his job, he wants out of customer service, he wants out of retail, he hates missing out on so much time with his kids. I agree, and have told him I will support him in whatever he decides to pursue - whether it's going back to school, getting a new job, moving somewhere for a new job, whatever. I realize that when I say that, I may be committing myself to another couple years of daycare, depending on what he ends up finding. I think it's worth it, if it will actually make him happy in his career.
And yet, even though he talks and complains and bitches constantly about his job and how he desperately wants out, he has yet to do anything about it. I search the job ads and various boards every day, and I pass on anything to him that I think may work. He's so far passed up 2 almost-perfect opportunities by not even applying for them, or even writing up a new resume in order to apply. He spends every evening watching baseball, saying he's too tired to write "a whole resume," as if that's so much work. He has talked about going back to college (he has a university degree in criminology, but is not too interested in going into that field) to possibly be a paramedic, and the local college offers the course on weekends. It would be doable if he found a M-F job, and would be a worthwhile choice and one I think he would be good at, but he has yet to do anything about it-he hasn't made calls to check course availability, hasn't looked for a M-F job just to get him through until he's done school, etc. Nothing more that idle talk.
I'm just so beyond pissed and have no one else to vent to! I've done everything I can to make my job more enjoyable - terminated problem clients, shortened my hours, relaxed my standards on meals a bit, re-done the backyard in order to spend more time outside with the kids - and it's still not enough. I find myself counting the hours until the end of the day, being too short with the kids and especially my own kids, just simply not enjoying this job at all. I hate dealing with parents who think I live to serve them, I hate dealing with children that have been brought up with no rules or discipline, seemingly never having heard the word "no" in their lives, I hate the constant mess and cleanup, and I hate how it seems to be affecting my 4-yr-old son, who is already very challenging, but doesn't seem to be dealing well with having to share more of my time, not just with his sisters, but with 5 other children as well.
Sorry to unload on you guys, but I need some inspiration on how to light a fire under my husband's butt! I'm going to tell him tonight that he either needs to figure out what he wants to do, whether it's school, a job in this city, a job somewhere else, whatever, and actually do it, or I will go out and find a job that I want and he can support me for a change. I feel like I have taken a backseat ever since my children were born (my oldest was born 2 months after I graduated from university, so I have never been able to use my rather obscure degree that I LOVED getting, but can't really use outside of a much bigger city) and I am sick of taking a backseat to my husband's job when all he does is complain about how much he hates it and doesn't want to be there anymore. If he was working towards something, or absolutely loved what he was doing, then I think it would be worth it, and I would feel like we are a team working towards a goal, but right now I just feel like there's no way out, and he's not doing anything to change that.
Just needed to vent a bit...I am feeling burnt out and miserable, and he is making it worse instead of making it better. Anybody else figured out how to actually motivate their husband?