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I have a 16 month old that is a horribly inconsistent napper. Some days it is as short as 30 minutes. Longest is 1 and a 1/2 hours. My question is if she only sleeping for 30 minutes how long would you leave her before getting her up? She is not quiet, wakes up crying. She is separate from the other kids so not to disturb them. I don't want to leave her crying, but at the same time I need a break!
Leave her the whole entire nap time and she will learn. Get her up early and she will continue to wake up. I love humidifiers in their rooms if they are separated. I run them without water and they are good white noise machines.
I agree- get a white noise machine, put her down, say goodnight, close the door and don't come back until naptime is over. In my experience there really is no other way. And leaving a child to cry when it's naptime is not an atrocity. I see it more as TEACHING a child the skill that is sleeping...very important indeed!
It is so hard to leave them cry. I do think though that it is best if you do. I used to go in after an hour and get the child up and let them sit on the couch as long as they were quiet. I had 1 boy who was a terrible napper and only sleep 1 hour. I drove me nuts but he did sit quietly on the couch. I was glad though when they left a few months later. Now I leave all kids in their beds right until the end of nap no matter what. It was rough at the start and now it is good. They usually go back to sleep if they wake early
I believe in the CIO method but in reality....it doesn't always work. I have kids who have thrown up from crying so long, who have screamed bloody murder and woke up every single other child (and I'm sure every other child on the block!!) and than 2-3 children are crying and children who have climbed out of the playpen because they weren't sleeping.
When you have a child like the above, it's not enjoyable and there is no way in Hell I can listen to that every single day. It is not relaxing to me to listen to 1-4 children crying and just leave them there and I also don't think it's fair to the children that the screaming child woke up. I have a white noise machine, play soft music and have one separated from the group. It doesn't always work IME. I do have some that I know will cry for a bit and than fall asleep again and I have others that I know won't go back to sleep...I use my judgement on the individual child, the time and how the day has gone already.
I think having her sleep away from the group is great. The days where she naps long are fantastic and the days where she sleeps for 30 mins, I would let her CIO for another 30 or until it got too extreme. If you know her routine and know that she won't go to sleep once waking up than having her CIO for another 1.5 hrs is pointless IMO. It's only going to disrupt the others and your quiet time. I would rather just go get her and have her do quiet activities. I don't think she will learn that this is the "norm" and that her longer naps will cease. Perhaps she is sleeping shorter on the days she's had a longer night's sleep.
As others have mentioned. Leave them in their cribs to CIO. Eventually they get it. If they don't they learn quickly that crying gets them nowhere fast. They learn to sit quietly for the duration of naptime. Those that don't would not last long in my daycare. I would not put up with a child who screamed until they threw up to get out of naptime. No. Way.
Other mummy...this child did not throw up to get out of naptime. He threw up from crying so much because he had finished his nap and it's extremely hard for a 1 year old to stay quiet in his playpen for an hour or more. He would normally sleep 2.5 hours but there would be days where he didn't nap as long. Sometimes he would stay quietly in his playpen and some days he wouldn't.
These are children, not robots. Every day isn't going to go as smoothly as we hope but I don't term them for it either. Like I said, I treat it individually. As much as I think CIO can and does work, I also strongly believe that not all children can be treated the same just as all adults can't either.
For a child who typically naps 2.5 hours but has off days it makes sense to bring them out. But for a child that doesn't know how to put themselves back to sleep and wakes after one sleep cycle there isn't much we can do as a group care provider. That is a skill that needs to be established long before childcare begins. Obviously leaving them screaming in distress for 2 hours for days on end isn't suggested but most children learn pretty quickly that rest time is rest time and learn to sleep longer or rest quietly. In my experience (and maybe I am lucky) there is a difference between the I am mad because no one is coming crying and the distress cries. Usually they cry loudly, pause to listen for you then cry louder. This is a learned behavior. Distressed crying doesn't calm down to listen for you.Quote:
Originally Posted by 5 Little Monkeys
It sucks and is one of the hardest parts of this job...but typically after a few tough days the child is sleeping better and is better off with a solid rest period.
Again, I have been pretty lucky with my kiddos...despite none of them CIO at home and many being bed-sharers.
I agree with you lee bee. IMO, it sounds like the OP's child is an inconsistent napper and not necessarily one that doesn't know how to self soothe and fall back asleep which is why I posted what I did. I'm okay with an awake child as long as I've gotten a good 30-60 minute break!
You sound lucky with your nappers....that is awesome!
Thanks you all for your great opinions.
If she only sleeps 30 minutes I will get her up after about an hour, but I did feel bad about that.
I guess I shouldn't! She's not in histerics, but she does whine loudly. She's been in my care for 5 months so I'm just worried that she won't learn to be quiet for that extra time she's not sleeping.
Thanks again!