DCD Says “Too old for naps now”

I have one dad of a 3 year old (just turned 3) DCB who just this morning made a comment in regards to my nap times that “yeah, he doesn’t really need to nap anymore. He’s a big boy now!” & now this little boy has been saying all morning that “my dad says I don’t need naps anymore”. This comment was in reference to specifically my schedule here, & wasn’t a general statement.

Some context: Mom is participating in a charity run today & dad is off early & DCB will be picked up around 1-1:30 so they can all attend. Now I know a lot of daycares don’t allow pick ups during nap times, but I don’t mind accommodating this ONCE IN A WHILE, & today I had mentioned that I would have him quietly entertain himself with books & puzzles until then. Then his comment followed. This particular DCB is generally quiet & easy going & rarely ever puts up a fuss & just does what’s expected of him so I know this wouldn’t be an issue for him.

Normally I don’t have much interaction or communication with the dad, mom is the one I usually am in contact with. Dad does drop offs but they’re 30 seconds & he’s in & out the door so we don’t speak that much. I know mom has never mentioned anything about having issues with nap times & shes generally great with following the rules & abiding by the current policies they both agreed to. I kind of figured that he probably didn’t read the handbook himself, otherwise he would know that rest times here aren’t negotiable.

I’m in a pickle about what to do, or if this should even be brought up? I don’t want to bring it up because I feel I would then be inviting their input in this aspect of our daycare routine. & rest times here are non negotiable. I have a feeling my comment suggested that this was a regular possibility. I don’t have the space or supervision available to accommodate children who don’t join in our rest time.

This might well be a comment made intentionally because they feel that the naps should be phased out. We've all had that parent who believes that losing the day time nap equates to an earlier bed time at home. And sometimes, parents don't raise this in a constructive and open manner because it is a sensitive issue for some.

It could also be exactly what he said it is - an unusual situation today where Dad has been chatting to the child, reminding them that today, he's not going to be napping because he's a big boy. i.e. trying to get the child on board with missing a nap today for this special occassion.

Since you say clearly that you don't want to bring it up - don't. But you are now on notice that potentially this is going to be an issue in the near future. That's great news - you have advance warning and can use that time to consider your position so you aren't blindsided should it be raised again and don't feel forced to respond in haste and then regret your response.

I'm assuming since you don't have the space for this that you don't take 3 and 4 year olds and perhaps use your activity space for napping too? We aren't allowed to do that. Likewise, we can't force a child to nap if they don't need one. Check your provinces regulations and make sure you are clear on what they are in readiness for this issue to arise again. I wouldn't word it how you have here. MAybe "All children must be offered a period of rest which is key to their developmental needs. If after 45 mins a child has not fallen asleep, then I will permit he have a book or quiet time activity on his bed provided he does not wake the others sleeping in the shared space."

The way my house is currently set up allows for the daycare to be used in a couple spaces of the home. My main floor is open concept & we spend a lot of our time here. It’s basically one large room that has daycare things sectioned off across the large room to allow for easy traffic & transition flow. My upstairs I do have one specific play room dedicated to just the daycare. My other bedrooms in my home are quite small, & they are not big enough to comfortably have 4 children napping in there. I cannot separate my kids into different rooms because no one sleeps in an an enclosed bed (playpen, crib, etc) so I have to be supervising all of them at all times. My basement is also one large room & is set up with larger physical activity toys for rainy days when we can’t go outside. I also cannot allow DCB to play upstairs away because again, I can’t supervise him. We do nap in the main room, but I do have it set up in a way that encourages rest time so it suddenly goes from being a bright & exciting play room with toys, to a dark, calm, & quiet (spa music) room where each child has their own bed & PLENTY of space between their friends to allow for a comfortable rest times. I don’t usually have problems with nap times with my other daycare kids & everyone usually lays down & is asleep fairly quickly (including my daughter who is actually older than DCB). I’ve had parents pick up before during nap time & comment how it’s so soothing in my main room during nap time.

I do have in my handbook that if after 30 minutes of not falling asleep, I will allow for them to come off their bed & play quietly. I do of course have it worded nicely & politely. Since this DCB began here, he has skipped nap maybe 4 times from being awake longer than 30 minutes & by afternoon snack time he was falling asleep at the table. Then he fell asleep on the way home.

I think what I will do IF this is brought up again & they ask, is that I can allow them to have a shortened nap, since based on the previous times he didn’t nap that I can clearly see that he definitely needs a nap, even a short one. Our mornings are quite stimulating & he is always here right when I open (7am), & I think it would be a little cruel to keep him awake on purpose when he clearly needs a break. I do really like this family & this DCB is every providers dream child, he is always happy, doesn’t complain a lot, & he is a very smart boy who is quick to pick up on things. He is very helpful & is also very kind.

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I cannot separate my kids into different rooms because no one sleeps in an an enclosed bed (playpen, crib, etc) so I have to be supervising all of them at all times.*

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Hi,

If you're suprevising all of them at all times then basically it is easy. Set a little corner for this child to work on quiet activities, I've done that. Children learn fast I usually let them pick the activities they want to work on. I sat beside them and quietly we worked on them.

Also,

As mentioned in other posts, you need to review further the regulations in your province. In Ontario if a child doesn't fall asleep within 20 mins. Then keeping him/her in bed is considered child abuse. Make sure your contract is consistent with the regulations.

I also believe that a close and everyday communication between parents and caregivers is a must. Obviously if the child is going too late to sleep during the night then parents and caregivers should come up with the best solution for the welll-being of the child.

Many children give up naps between 3 and 4 yo. I currently have one that (according to his parents still needs his long naps), but the child doesn't show signs needing those naps anymore. So after 20 mins. He usually joins the quiet activities and older kids. Goes to home and goes bed at 7:00 pm waking up at 07:00 am. A dream child nice character very well in control and self regulated. He's only 3yo. So this child needs a good and long night sleep no more naps. Sometimes he sleeps at 6:00 or 6:30 pm until next day.

Every child is unique and some need naps some give up naps earlier etc. What I would suggest is to look on providing the space and activities geared to nurture the non nappers. If it is not possible then most likely your program is only suited for infants and toddlers. Three and four y.o. might end up choosing preschool programs that are more flexible in this regards.

There are many quiet activities online, also books once you set a child with a task it is easy for them to continue every day it becomes a routine. I usually use (younger children's ) nap time to focus on my older ones place materials and focus on preschool subjects and skills etc.

Knowing that this might be a subject of discussion between you and the parent (and others for sure in the future). Perhaps makes sense on getting ready with some positive and knowledgeable solutions and suggestions (if you search this site this "nap and time" is a very common subject between parents and caregivers).

I hope it helps

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I kind of figured that he probably didn’t read the handbook himself, otherwise he would know that rest times here aren’t negotiable.*

I’m in a pickle about what to do, or if this should even be brought up? I don’t want to bring it up because I feel I would then be inviting their input in this aspect of our daycare routine. & rest times here are non negotiable. I have a feeling my comment suggested that this was a regular possibility. I don’t have the space or supervision available to accommodate children who don’t join in our rest time.

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When you say NON NEGOTIABLE. That means ENFORCED? (perhaps that needs to be changed and worded differently)

Children do not come up with a book of instructions, we try to guide and help them by suiting their needs a handbook can be used to follow regulations but, personally I do not think it should be used to "enforce" in a child a natural development. Even if it is a "very soothing" space. When children give up their naps that space won't stop that, their brain grows and need more activity or stimulation.

I'm sure, this subject will come up in my weekly playdates meeting (many parents read our posts) hopefully it is just my misunderstanding :0)

Spoke with mom yesterday as this has been bothering me since it happened & I don’t want to risk losing them. She apologized for the comment & says they do NOT want naps cut or shortened. They have very busy active evenings during the week & says DCB needs his nap to make it through.

& yes Peacefulbird, I have checked my provincial guidelines as to what I’m allowed & not allowed to do. I have worked in an actual daycare centre here & I follow the same schedule & a lot of the same policies as well. DCB is never FORCED to nap, but 95% of the time, he is asleep shortly after laying down. He is my shortest napper & knows that once he wakes up he has “quiet time toys” he’s allowed to play with until his other friends rise.

I also don’t have a “forced” nap time for any of my children. Here at my daycare I do require that every child take at least a 30 minute rest so their bodies can recharge for the afternoon & rest of their day. This rest is not necessarily a nap, as I can’t force children to nap, but a 30 minute body break to relax.

Thank you for the clarification.

And yes, this subject was brought up in my playdates (kind of worrying that even parent would sign for something like that too). I'm glad it was just my misunderstanding.

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I have worked in an actual daycare centre here & I follow the same schedule & a lot of the same policies as well.

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I'm glad you have this experience, personally I think many of us have left our "centre based" jobs, to operate and offer a more personalized and flexible service. Centres due to extra staff offer quiet activities for children that gave up their naps.

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I do require that every child take at least a 30 minute rest so their bodies can recharge for the afternoon & rest of their day. This rest is not necessarily a nap, as I can’t force children to nap, but a 30 minute body break to relax.

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You're right, they need to recharge or have a body break. It also happens with quiet activities or also books in a corner too. Anyway, your group is not there yet but I assume they will when they face that transition in the future.