Originally Posted by
Suzie_Homemaker
If a child is really potty trained at home but having accidents in day care, at three years old, it's a conscious decision not to go to the washroom.
You have to make it so it's more inconvenient to the child when they have an accident than it is to just use the washroom.
They get their bag in their wet/soiled clothes. They take their bag/spare clothes back to the washroom. They undress themselves, wipe themselves down, redress with fresh clothes. It takes them as long as it takes them. Don't say anything negative but the clear consequence of having an accident is a natural consequence - i.e. they miss out on all the fun while they have the inconvenience of dealing with their choice.
Make sure there's lots of giggling and fun going on while they are changing that the child is missing out on. Bring out that child's favourite toys so they truly are missing out. Call out verbal encouragement/instructions if needed but do not go and rescue the child from the consequence by helping them. If they have made a puddle on the floor, then hand them the wet mop too.
Don't be negative. Don't rescue the child. Positive encouragement with their consequence but verbal only. Don't show them up. Once they are changed and in fresh clothes and have put their wet/soiled clothes in a bag to go home and cleaned up, then have a little chat with the child and remind them that it would have been quicker to use the washroom successfully and that would have given them more time joining in with their friends and you are sorry they missed out on so much fun while getting changed. Missing out a few times is normally enough for them to connect the dots between their action and consequences.