Sleep time

Hello Everyone,
This is my first post...I'm new to the site, and have just opened a home daycare.
Currently I have one 11 month old girl, and my son is 11 months old and I have a 4 year old son, and a 3 year old boy starting next week.

So my question is about getting the 11 month old girl to sleep. For the last two weeks, I have been able to give her a bottle in my arms, and hold her until she falls asleep. (Mom's request) Some days it has taken up to an hour of screaming before she falls asleep, but it has worked fine because my son is already sleeping, and my 4 year old is at school. Next week, when I have the 3 year old here, I wont be able to sit with the 11 month old girl for an hour.

Any tips, as to what to do with her? Just let her scream in the playpen?? I just don't want her to wake up the other 11 month old that is already sleeping too.

Suggestions anyone?....

Thanks!
ARL-G

Ohhh.... Well I tell parents before the child starts ( at least a month in advance) to start getting the child to home her own bottle and to make sure the child is using a sippy cup, and on fnger foods, also I tell parents that the child must be able to self sooth as I can not rock or hold while child is sleeping .....the child must be able to go to sleep on their own in a playpen. This will probably be a tough go.... You will have to have a chat with the Parents and tell them to stop holding the child to fall asleep because in group care that's not going to be an option....good luck

Wow - welcome to the forum and the daycare world.

I agree with crayola - It is not realistic to expect that a provider holds a child for 1 hour so that the child will sleep. You need and deserve a break too.

Tell the parents that this needs to change and see if they would be willing to try sleep training at home and you also do it at your house while the child is there. There will be tears for the first week but then it should make everyone's life easier.

Explain to the parents that during nap you need to clean up the lunch dishes and also prepare snacks and eat your own lunch and that you are getting exhausted losing an hour holding their child and that it is not possible to hold their child because you have other children/tasks taht need to be done during that time. Ask them what they propose and whether they can work on this at home

I feel for you as I was the same when I first started out with my first daycare kid...rocking her to sleep...trying all sorts of things to get her to sleep. However, I learned fast that unfortunately, the only way to get peaceful days and quiet naptimes is to let them cry it out right from the beginning. I go back and lay them down every 5 minutes or so until they stop crying and go to sleep...even if it takes the entire naptime. Within a week or two, they understand there is no getting out of it and they start sleeping on their own. You NEED naptime to reboot your energy, clean up etc. You will brun out if you continue like that. I have many kids who don't sleep at naptime for their parents, but they sleep very well here...consistency and routine is key. I wouldn't be asking the parents anything...what they so and what you do is not the same. They don't get to tell you how to do it at your house. It is so different when you have multiple children to care for. Good luck to you!

I agree - rocking to sleep is not a long term solution specially in group care ... when an infant arrives NEW and unprepared for group care I will explain to clients that do my best the first few days to rock them when I can however this is not always feasible ... I slowly start rocking but than putting them in still awake and letting them fall asleep on their own the last little bit rocking less and less before hand until they are going in full awake and I am able to walk away and they may 'fuss' for 5 minutes or so but fall asleep on their own.

I just transitioned in an eight month old who had co-slept at home and never been in a 'crib' before finding out mom had to return to work 4 months early ... took me just over a week to transition him into going in on his own awake with less than 5 minutes of crying before falling off to sleep ... I can empathize with parents who 'rock' cause I too hate listening to an infant cry however SLEEP is important and rocking is not always an option when there are multiple children so 'self soothing' to sleep needs to be a priority for those who are planning to return to work and place their child in 'group care' of another :(

Nothing new to add.... but what all the others have said is exactly right, in my opinion.
It is hard to listen to a child cry for any length of time, but allowing them to learn to get to sleep, stay asleep and go back to sleep if they wake up too soon is the BEST gift you can give them.
I would absolutely have a chat with mom or dad, and let them know that a child in group care needs to learn to self soothe, and that in the long run, it will benefit everyone.

Have you tried putting her on a cot on the floor? I had a similar issue with a 10 month old who would not sleep in the crib/playpen, so I finally put him on the floor so I could rub his back, and he was happy and fell asleep pretty quickly that way. Just an idea.

Thank you everyone!

Monday afternoon I started letting her cry. She cried for 2 hrs (me going in every ten minutes to put her down) and she didn't sleep at all. Since then we are slowly getting a little bit better each nap time (2 a day). She is sitting up and crying now, while before she would stand and cry...so the chances of her falling asleep are getting a little bit better. It's not the actual nap that she is refusing...when I go in and lay her down, she stops crying. It's me not touching her that upsets her. She wants me to sit there and rock her/rub her back, or something. The problem with that is that I will have two 3 year olds soon, and I can't leave them unattended while I sit with the 11 month old for her morning nap.

Mom is TOTALLY on board with her learning to fall asleep on her own. Mom has been in school since her daughter was a young baby, leaving her with Grandma, and that is who rocked her to sleep, or let her decide that she didn't want to nap.

But, I do see things getting better soon...hopefully before the other two children start!!

Maybe stop going in and lying her down maybe shell stop crying faster if you don't go in .... It's kind of like getting her hopes up when you in and then she doesn't get what she wants so she starts all over again .... Two steps forward and one back .... Try just leaving her .... Does she have a security item.... A blanket from home or something that she sleeps with everyday ? I have just started a 10 month old and she had all her naps in a swing!!!!! Yikes !!!! I am amazed at how well she has adjusted .... Parents brought a sleep sac and a little blanket with a lambs head attached and she actually sleeps longer here then she does at home. Good luck and I'm sure it will get better

She does have a blanket from home...but I don't think she cares about it. She is in the playpen now (I'm trying to keep myself occupied). It's so hard to hear her cry...but I know it has to happen.

:)

AHHHHHHHH.......

We are on nap #6 of letting her cry it out. This girl is STUUUUBORN!!! She has cried in the playpen for up to two hours. I tried going in every ten minutes, not talking, just laying her back down. I've tried just letting her cry, without me going in at all.

Yesterday she didn't sleep ALL day...I had her from 9am - 5:15pm...she's 11 months old, and she did NOT sleep! She was so overtired by noon that she was so fussy and clingy for the entire afternoon.

This morning she showed up tired. Mom said she wouldn't go to bed last night either, she slept from 9:30pm - 6:00am...and then napped on the 20 minute drive to my house from hers. I took her up to my room (where her play pen is) at 10am...I cuddled her for 5 minutes, offering her a bottle, which she wouldn't take. She fell asleep in my arms after 3 minutes!!! Seriously...she was SO tired. I put her in her playpen, asleep...and she woke up and screamed. It's 11:45 and she is still screaming!

I know I could get her to sleep if I rocked her or even rubbed her back, but I just can't let that be her soothing mechanism. I'm soon going to have three other children in my care.

I'm going crazy!!!! Not to mention, the poor little girl is totally exhausted!!!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by soranea

Have you tried putting her on a cot on the floor? I had a similar issue with a 10 month old who would not sleep in the crib/playpen, so I finally put him on the floor so I could rub his back, and he was happy and fell asleep pretty quickly that way. Just an idea.

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This might be possible for afternoon nap, when everyone is napping...I don't mind sitting beside her, rubbing her back. But the older children are not napping in the morning, and she is.

I had a child like that last year and what finally worked was moms pillowcase from home ( with her scent on it) and in a pitch black room and her music machine from home ( ocean wonders) the kid screamed for me for a week and never gave in ever I moved her from room to room tried rocking till asleep but as soon as I leaned over twept her down she was back into a full out scream until we tried this and she went to sleep the first time without a peep and I never had a problem after that. Is this maybe an option?

WOW! I've had some tough ones, but I think this one tops them all! Poor you. I have nothing to add that hasn't already been said. Sounds like you're doing everything to help her learn to sleep. Patience, I suppose. I had one that I had to put in a room in the basement a couple of years ago (it's a finished basement), but the others all sleep up in the bedrooms....She eventually graduated upstairs.
It'll pass...she'll learn. It's just a matter of time, although, you're right, she does seem stubborn! :unsure:
Good luck!

I totally feel for you. I had my first "rocked to sleep" baby last April and let me tell you, I learned really quickly that I couldnt spend an hour up there soothing him to sleep.

It seemed the parents weren't really on board with sleep training (they totally baby him at home). So I took it into my own hand to sleep train him.

It took a while, with many steps, but now he goes to sleep very quickly when I place him in his playpen. It's all about routine so he expects it.

I just placed him in his playpen and sat there beside, sometimes rubbing his back. After about a week he finally fell asleep on his own. I would place him lying down if he got up and started to cry. Then getting out of the room was hard. I would gradually go further and further away from him until eventually he was so good at falling asleep on his own that I would just leave him.

To this day the mom still doesnt know how he sleeps so goo here. They STILL rock him to sleep and he still wakes throughout the night to get to soothe him. He's almost 2 yrs old....YIKES!!!

I thank my lucky stars that I have had great nappers all along. I do admit to holding babies and giving them their bottles for the first month or so, but at the same time I'm teaching them to hold their bottle. By the second month I hope that we have bonded and they are happy enough drinking their bottle in their playpen. Usually my little ones roll over and go right to sleep.

I make sure 11 month olds are dropping their morning naps when they start here because we go outside shortly after 9am almost every morning for hours. I serve breakfast at 8am, lunch at 11am, or shortly after and tuck in all the children for naps shortly after 12. They sleep for 2 or 2 1/2 hours every single day.

I do believe in crying it out, but since my children all sleep on the same floor it has to be stopped ASAP here. I hope never to have a child like you are describing! I've had children who screamed and cried for months on end, but at least they were good nappers so I would have a quiet sanity break in the middle of the day.

It sounds like she is over-tired. I had a little one who was having a hard time napping (his mom said he only has one nap), but I started giving him a short morning nap and then he started sleeping better in the afternoon (and at night for his parents). Sleep begets sleep. Overtired babies sleep less, not more. I say tough it out and stick to one strategy. If you keep switching tactics, the little one doens't know what to expect from you and doesn't feel secure. Crying will not kill her (nor you although it is tough!). Good luck!

I'm happy to announce that this child is SO MUCH easier. She now usually cries for about 5 minutes after I put her in her playpen...and then she sleeps for an hour or more. The mother is having much better nights with her, and an easier time putting her down for bed also. The little girl is much happier during the day, smiley, chatty, and even laughing sometimes. She is not as clingy...and ventures off on her own a bit more (as long as she can see me). There is still some room for improvement, but at least I've seen some progress...and feel MUCH MUCH better!!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ARL-G

She does have a blanket from home...but I don't think she cares about it. She is in the playpen now (I'm trying to keep myself occupied). It's so hard to hear her cry...but I know it has to happen.

:)

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Are you using white noise its works like a dream for my daycare kids.

Oh I'm so happy you are seeing progress. Patience and perseverence do pay off. Great work ARL!!!