Picky eater "yucky"

I have an incredibly picky 3 year old (turns 3 in a month). Eats nothing. Completely plain bread (no grains, or anything). Zero veggies, applies and bananas but no other fruit, completely plain yogurt but not if it has fruit in it etc etc.

It doesn't effect me much as he is only here 4 hrs a day and I could care less if he chooses not to eat.

BUT, until recently he has just sat, staring at the food and others until everyone is done (works for me). But he has recently started saying "yucky" with all food (play and real). I have firmly told him he is not allowed to call food yucky, it is rude. He can choose not to eat but he needs to sit and wait.

I am very concerned his calling foods yucky with taint my very good eater daughter (almost 4) and the boys younger brother who eats decent.

Any tips to keep this under control? I want to nip it in the bud before his dislike of all food spreads to the others! I am not looking for ways to get him to eat more foods, but rather just to make sure he doesn't get all the kids calling foods yucky!

Hi, can you ask his parents? What are his food choices at home. Some children have food texture sensitivity. I have exprienced the very same kind of behavior in my group and or new children joining to daycare. I usually start very slow. First serving the very same thing that everyone is eating but in a smaller amount. I usually ask them to try just two bites and then they can have what they like ex. Their favorite yogurt. I ask them if they want to be helped by cutting their food in small pieces they usually like that. But I've also a small food processor so I pureed things and mixed in their yogurt. At first not too much and I have slowly increased the amounts until they develope a taste for that food.

I always remember in a nutrition course I took "it takes 40 times ta sting a new food before our palate becomes familiar to it"; and works even for adults. Sometimes we make the mistake of not serving a certain kind of food because the child doesn't like it, leaving that poor child with a limited poor food choice. Just keep trying at times peer pressure works wonders.

I don't like when they say yucky either, especially if they haven't tasted it!

I say, "5LM made this for you and it took a lot of time. It's not nice to say yucky. That's rude. It's yummy stuff (and then if it applies, I point out what's in it that they do like). I want you to try it and then if you still don't like it, that's fine."

I can usually get my kids to take 1-3 bites at least and then if they like it, they finish and if they don't, they finish the other food or wait patiently for their dessert (fruit)

I have one incredibly picky eater and one who can be picky. They're both 3.5 and will try to say yucky too. This has decreased though after multiple days (months? Lol) of saying what I do.

I tell them to take a 'polite bite' which works occasionally, but if they don't they have to be quiet...I'm firm about that. Some eat nothing and still grow healthy. I don't get it.

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Originally Posted by Peacefulbird

Hi, can you ask his parents? What are his food choices at home. Some children have food texture sensitivity. I have exprienced the very same kind of behavior in my group and or new children joining to daycare. I usually start very slow. First serving the very same thing that everyone is eating but in a smaller amount. I usually ask them to try just two bites and then they can have what they like ex. Their favorite yogurt. I ask them if they want to be helped by cutting their food in small pieces they usually like that. But I've also a small food processor so I pureed things and mixed in their yogurt. At first not too much and I have slowly increased the amounts until they develope a taste for that food.

I always remember in a nutrition course I took "it takes 40 times ta sting a new food before our palate becomes familiar to it"; and works even for adults. Sometimes we make the mistake of not serving a certain kind of food because the child doesn't like it, leaving that poor child with a limited poor food choice. Just keep trying at times peer pressure works wonders.

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He eats very small amounts of very limited foods at home. I have asked if they have noticed a pattern (around textures, colours, etc etc). They have not. They are stressed about it. But they do feed him protein and veggie shakes (from powder) to try and compensate, he is small but growing. He eats plain oatmeal for supper every night. I can't judge, my kid eats well. Whether it is because we have trained her to or just her nature I can't say for sure and I am sure it sucks to have such a picky eater (whether there habits have trained him that way or not). They have spent many days tracking his intake to see how many calories etc etc.

I don't expect to change him. I merely serve what I serve and hope he tries it. He's not here long enough to be starving to have to eat anything. He's here 4 hrs and gets milk before he comes and fed oatmeal when he leaves so in my mind there is no pressure for him to reach out and try something.

Anyways...I will keep reminding him not to call food yucky and hope it ends before it goes to far! I would hate for his poor eating to spread to the others!!! I am not offended when he calls my food yucky, but it isn't an acceptable behavior.

Have you tried getting him to apologize for saying "yucky?" To you and also to the others at the table. That is a consequence for being rude. And, I don't think you have much to worry about, long term. If the other kids like eating, they won't stop eating because this child doesn't. It might make them eat less of the things they aren't super keen on, but if they really like yogurt with fruit, or toast with jam, they aren't going to go hungry, IMO.

I have a 3.5 hr old dcb who eats absolutely nothing for the 9 hrs he is here many days per week/month. His parents and I know he has always had trouble with textures and is a very picky eater (although cookies, cheerios, chocolate cake, and pizza seem to work fine...) He is seeing a nutritionist to help him get used to better foods choices, but I don't see improvement.... he's growing fine, and not underweight. he will eat bananas/yogurt, but we're not always having those every day and if I give to him then all the kids want same.
I was starting to worry about blood sugar levels and energy because on the days he chooses to eat nothing, he does tend to lie on the rug a lot by the end of the day. So I tried giving him Cheerios when the others went down for quiet time because somehow it made me feel better that he had something in his tummy, but now he has started to announce at lunchtime to his friends that he's going to wait til he gets his Cheerios when everyone's asleep..... Do we have to worry about fainting/sugar levels etc if they're only drinking water for the day, or is staying hydrated for 9 hrs enough at this age? I always let his parents know when he hasn't eaten so they should at least expect him to eat at dinner. They are great parents but don't know what to do either. Water enough for the day? Tx!!

I bet you anything, that when he says "Yucky" at home, he's given an alternative meal because Mom's feeling guilty that he's not eating. While I'm sure her goal isn't to reward the rude manners but to get him to eat something, in his three year old mind, yucky means that what he doesn't feel like eating is removed and what he'd prefer materializes.

Like you, I don't worry if a child declines to eat. I don't offer alternatives. I will provide a meal but it's entirely up to the child whether or not they eat it. They eventually learn that if they don't eat what is being given, they will be hungry. I don't engage at all with cajoling, encouraging, bribing to eat.

I'd have a little chat to Mom though not about his pickiness because that's not something you or she can control. I'd chat about the vocabulary choices. It's entirely up to her if she wants to make a rod for her own back by encouraging the pickiness and presenting options - though she'll regret it down the line. However, I would strongly request that if this is how she is choosing to parent, that the vocabulary is more acceptable.

A thee year old can just as easily say "No thank you" so that's what I would request she enforces at home in order that acceptable language is used in day care when a child is declining a meal.

@ebhappydc- I don't provide an alternative food here, unless it's an infant in their first few weeks of transition into care, who is just getting used to our menu. A 3.5 yr old definitely has the ability to tell you when they are hungry or not, but I wouldn't be offering the cheerios after everyone goes to bed. He knows that the cheerios come if he holds out long enough, so he knows he doesn't have to eat the meal being served.
It's not up to you to provide substitutes, especially at that age.
If he's too lethargic to properly participate in care, then he shouldn't be there.
It sounds like he needs a referral to an occupational therapist to be screened for sensory processing issues.

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Originally Posted by Busy ECE mommy

@ebhappydc- I don't provide an alternative food here, unless it's an infant in their first few weeks of transition into care, who is just getting used to our menu. A 3.5 yr old definitely has the ability to tell you when they are hungry or not, but I wouldn't be offering the cheerios after everyone goes to bed. He knows that the cheerios come if he holds out long enough, so he knows he doesn't have to eat the meal being served.
It's not up to you to provide substitutes, especially at that age.
If he's too lethargic to properly participate in care, then he shouldn't be there.
It sounds like he needs a referral to an occupational therapist to be screened for sensory processing issues.

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You're right and giving the substitute has only backfired as the other older child doesn't think it's fair if picky gets to be up eating for part of nap time. Good intentions gone awry! Thanks

How long have you had the child in care? Has he always been picky?

If he is gaining weight he is getting enough nutrients. If he isn't getting them from you then someone is feeding him something that he likes.

FEW child will actually starve themselves and few would push their being picky enough to the point of passing out due to low blood sugars. If he is seeing a nutritionist then they would have noted if he was one of these few pretty quickly in their assessments.

I know it sounds really mean...but if he wants to not eat to the point of passing out...then perhaps he needs to pass out? So you can call an ambulance and get the parents and medical professionals attention.

I suspect he is a strong willed child who is getting food on the side (cheerios from you and likely some filling foods at home). Progress isn't made by sneaking food to a child. It is VERY hard as an adult to see a child go hungry because we as adults know how uncomfortable it is to be hungry but that child needs to feel it himself, to the point of caring to not choose to feel those hunger pains.

I am saddened at how we now have protein drinks for kids and formula marketed just for picky kids. It is a sign we as a whole are not having proper expectations for children's eating habits. We've catered to them to the point in not expecting them to eat real food. It's not good!

Best of luck with the little guy...hopefully home fully jumps on board, it would only take a few days (at most) of a VERY hungry child for the child to broaden his "liked" foods.

Everytime my almost 5yr old goes through a slightly "picky" phase I go into a no easy safe foods, only 'weird' foods cooking streak. She doesn't continue to rely on the familiar common foods and just naturally forgets to be picky as she isn't getting bits of 'safe' foods to hold her along. Meaning no breads, crackers, pasta etc. It seems to work BUT we've has this mentality from day one so it is MUCH easier to get back on track when needed than starting from scratch years into picky eating habits!

Tough love - I love it! but no, I prob don't want to push this to the point of calling 911! Yes, I've had him in my care since he was 12 months, and he has always been a very picky eater (more so at home i'm told by parents) but I was always able to get him to eat a bit of egg, or pasta, but he won't even taste test anything anymore. He chooses to eat the crackers/cookie/crunchy only items in the variety of foods offered over the course of 2 snacks and a lunch. It has gotten worse over the last few months (pasta not right colour/shape).... eats absolutely no meat (which would be fine, but doesn't eat alternative for protein) except pizza pepperoni. He's basically a very easy child in every other respect, but he is grossed out very easily.... string on the banana so can't finish it; microscopic bruise on apple so can't finish and nearly gagging so doesn't want new blemish-free piece. Although, I don't get it because pizza is kind of a messy looking meal with cheesy strings everywhere and that doesn't bother him.... If we do a messy art activity he can't stand getting his hands dirty with that either. The one healthy thing he does like is a cold smoothie (packed with spinach/fruit/nut butter) and I think that's been keeping him healthy, but I don't make those every day. I think part of it too is a consequence of his parent's busy working and home life schedule.... rushing to get food on the table after work...
Well, I think as long as he stays hydrated that's all I will worry about and just let his parents know on the daily record! Thanks

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Originally Posted by ebhappydc

Tough love - I love it! but no, I prob don't want to push this to the point of calling 911! Yes, I've had him in my care since he was 12 months, and he has always been a very picky eater (more so at home i'm told by parents) but I was always able to get him to eat a bit of egg, or pasta, but he won't even taste test anything anymore. He chooses to eat the crackers/cookie/crunchy only items in the variety of foods offered over the course of 2 snacks and a lunch. It has gotten worse over the last few months (pasta not right colour/shape).... eats absolutely no meat (which would be fine, but doesn't eat alternative for protein) except pizza pepperoni. He's basically a very easy child in every other respect, but he is grossed out very easily.... string on the banana so can't finish it; microscopic bruise on apple so can't finish and nearly gagging so doesn't want new blemish-free piece. Although, I don't get it because pizza is kind of a messy looking meal with cheesy strings everywhere and that doesn't bother him.... If we do a messy art activity he can't stand getting his hands dirty with that either. The one healthy thing he does like is a cold smoothie (packed with spinach/fruit/nut butter) and I think that's been keeping him healthy, but I don't make those every day. I think part of it too is a consequence of his parent's busy working and home life schedule.... rushing to get food on the table after work...
Well, I think as long as he stays hydrated that's all I will worry about and just let his parents know on the daily record! Thanks

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Just to clarify it wasn't a cruel 'tough love'. Lol, obviously no one wants for a child to pass out. Especially on a daycare providers watch. But I can't help but think if this child is so picky that they opt to not eat enough nutrition to make it through the day in an upright position then more attention needs to be drawn to the fact that something is off. I would wager that it is just that he hasn't been in the position long enough to NEED to eat foods he doesn't like...but perhaps there is a bigger issue that might not be identified if he is given just enough of what he wants to stay standing.

If it truly is a texture issue then there should be supports in place to help him over come that and to figure out what those issues are in place. The fact he seems so happy and healthy on all other fronts makes me think it is just a behavioral thing and not an autism spectrum or such as a root cause!

I wish you luck in making gains with him!! :-)

Now that you describe the extent of his issues with foods and with getting hands dirty etc, those are signs of sensory processing disorder, as I mentioned earlier. I’m guessing he’s off to school in the fall? Those areas need to be addressed before kindergarten. Has the nutritionist or a doctor never suggested a sensory screening be done by an occupational therapist?
If that’s what it is, it has a neurological component where the brain is either over or under reacting to the signals from the senses. It’s the real deal, and can be very debilitating.

Apparently he is seeing a therapist about his issues with food - he says they play games while he eats. As if matters couldn't get worse, this week he has stopped wiping himself in washroom as doesn't want to risk getting his hands dirty, so he has been just pulling up clothes after bm.... His parents are dealing with same and advised me to be firm with him about it. He's off to JK in Sept and I will continue to work with him best I can so he's ready for school. Tx!

And you are just finding out about him seeing a food therapist now? No communication from the parents before hand? No information to ensure consistent approach?

Mom mentioned a few weeks ago they were trying to make appointment for food therapist to broaden his choices in food. At that time, from my perspective, he was managing to eat a bit here at daycare that i wasn't too concerned. But he seems to be getting worse to point where he will be super hungry most of the day, and that tends to make me uncomfortable. I feel like if there's zero or only one items eaten shown on the daily record sheet going home, it's somehow on me. But the parents never told me he started the therapy and seem reluctant to talk about it. Child told me by telling about the games he plays with therapist. I don't know how often, or if he's even still going.

So no, parents don't communicate much about his issues to me so i'm blind as to how to approach. They tell me I'm great with him and keep doing what i'm doing.... Over the past 6 months he has been to hearing specialists and speech therapists, and now food, plus he has two close in age siblings going to various appointments, and i think parents are quite overwhelmed.
I"ll see how things go over next few weeks... he is a very well behaved child, so at least no problems there. And he is somehow healthy (hardly ever a sick day).