I hate this! Parents putting daycare provider in bad spot

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07-06-2011 04:33 PM
Skysue

I hate this! Parents putting daycare provider in bad spot

Hi ladies,

I currently watch a 17 month old who's older brother I had to ask to leave my daycare last February due to aggression, being extremely all over the place and disruptive. He used to get into everything during quite time; he would hit my daughter and not let her sleep plus scream at the top of his lungs and wake the other kids up. The last straw was when he put his finger up his bum and put poop on my bathroom wall. His parents put him in Montessori school and say he is doing much better. They were still amazing to see that I did all I could and allowed me to still care for his younger brother.

Now that it's the summer his mother asked me if I could watch him in Aug, as she can't find care for him. I was floored I hate saying no. I told her I'm not sure but we could try. He started acting up and refused to leave and she couldn't get him to listen he then screamed at the top of his lungs. (My family was still in bed boy was my husband angry) She then said forget I said anything. Yet for the past week and 1/2 every time she picks up her son she brings him into my house and gets him to walk in and look for my daughter, he brought her stickers yesterday? I feel like she is trying to transition him. Ladies what the heck do I do?

I don't want this mother to loose out on a month of work and i don't want to loose watching her youngest but she is really putting me up against a wall!
07-06-2011 06:22 PM
playfelt

Obviously the mom has seen the negative behaviours and may very well be trying to see if she can work with him to the point he would be ok in care. Going back to a situation where he was negative before might actually have the opposite effect on him and make him revert to the way he was which will mean starting over again from square one when he goes back to school. I would strongly be suggesting she get a local teen to work one on one with him for the month - ideally someone working on a developmental social work degree or something similar.
07-06-2011 08:12 PM
mom-in-alberta

I was just reading your post on the other thread about this situation.
Personally, I would have to say no. If you need to, find a reason (my numbers will be off, age groups don't work, etc?). It just doesn't seem like a good idea to revisit this scenario.
These seem like extreme behaviours though? Is there more to this boy than just "wild child" syndrome? You don't mention how old he is, and I wouldn't want to jump to conclusions here... but the finger-in-bum-to-smear-poop is something that sets off warning bells. Is there a possibility of ADHD or some other such thing? That would make for impulsivity (screaming, lack of good decision making skills), and "all over the place"-ness. It doesn't sound like you take issue with the parenting skills or methods, as you still have care of the little brother.
I have nothing against children with alternate behaviour situations (have cared for ADHD before) but it is vital that you have the proper coping skills in these matters. In my experience, there is still a negative mentality towards "behaviour" kids. As such, parents either deny to themselves that there is something that needs to be dealt with, or they attempt to cover up or make things seem rosier than they are. One of my previous parents hid the fact that their child was on a daily medication, until I actually confronted her to say "what is going on here?".
It sounds like she is buttering you up, trying to win you over in order to find care in August. I would not go for it.
07-06-2011 08:42 PM
mamaof4

I would think one-on-one care would be the best fit for this child. Would it be possible to, for the month have a college student look after him? Would it work to have the college student be like an aide for you?
07-06-2011 09:52 PM
Skysue

Quote:

Originally Posted by mom-in-alberta

I was just reading your post on the other thread about this situation.
Personally, I would have to say no. If you need to, find a reason (my numbers will be off, age groups don't work, etc?). It just doesn't seem like a good idea to revisit this scenario.
These seem like extreme behaviours though? Is there more to this boy than just "wild child" syndrome? You don't mention how old he is, and I wouldn't want to jump to conclusions here... but the finger-in-bum-to-smear-poop is something that sets off warning bells. Is there a possibility of ADHD or some other such thing? That would make for impulsivity (screaming, lack of good decision making skills), and "all over the place"-ness. It doesn't sound like you take issue with the parenting skills or methods, as you still have care of the little brother.
I have nothing against children with alternate behaviour situations (have cared for ADHD before) but it is vital that you have the proper coping skills in these matters. In my experience, there is still a negative mentality towards "behaviour" kids. As such, parents either deny to themselves that there is something that needs to be dealt with, or they attempt to cover up or make things seem rosier than they are. One of my previous parents hid the fact that their child was on a daily medication, until I actually confronted her to say "what is going on here?".
It sounds like she is buttering you up, trying to win you over in order to find care in August. I would not go for it.

Hi,

He is 3 years old. His parents feel he may have ADHD but there doctor told them he is too young to diagnos? I went to his 3rd birthday party and it seems more to me like he is extremely spoiled almost to the point of being idolized if that makes sense.
I have to say he gets his way alot. They admitted to me that they put both boys down to bed at 5:30pm 6pm at night and they wake up at 6am. The youngest is in my care at 7:30 am-4:30pm. I feel like I'm raising the youngest and setting good boundries! I have been watching him since he was 9 months. Kind of a weird situation! :(