Forced Potty Training Too Soon

[ebhappydc]

Update: Little guy came back this past Tuesday (in pullups at daycare) and I’m happy to say he does have control over his pees on the potty during our washroom breaks, and stays dry until our break times. However, he does not tell me he has to go and I do have to help with his pants more than I normally would (the older kids just need help pulling everything straight so the pants aren’t off to the side) . I need to lift him to reach the faucet – there isn’t a footstool high enough…. He is wearing comfy pants now, so it’s all quick and he is trying so hard to help with his clothes. … When he’s done, he gives me a high-5 and looks very happy. No, the bms aren’t going in potty at daycare or at home. He doesn’t get that at all yet.

I’m going to continue to build with this child, however, to protect myself in future, I will be adding to my policies my definition of potty trained - i.e. child being able to tell me when they have to go and being able to handle their clothing. I got lucky in this case that the boy is easy-going, very light, and quite willing, and the parents haven't pressured me on how to be at daycare with him. I’ve also noticed the other kids in my daycare are pleasantly surprised that he is able to do what he can now.
Although his parents are positive people, I did sense a bit of disappointment from them in discussing his progress the day he came back ….I don’t understand how they could expect him to somehow understand the whole process in a week. I told them it’s quite normal for children to not be fully trained by age 2 and there’s a whole range of ages when it happens…. They don’t acknowledge that fact when I say it. I feel like there’s an elephant in the room when we talk about this little guy and I want to say ‘have you noticed that he is quite delayed in development?’ but I don’t…. They must know it, but perhaps are in a bit of denial. I hear mom telling him ‘you’re a big boy now’…. I imagine when at public play centers, the usual questions come up - how old is your baby, when did they start walking... blah blah… all the comparison questions. So at least now they can say he goes on the potty already.

[Peacefulbird]

Thank you so much ebhappydc,

It is amazing what he have achieved in just a week! You just made my day;0) in my experience I would say in another week or two he will be fully trained.

I usually ask parent to buy and bring easy pants (old pijamas bottoms work great). I do observations and check what the child needs in order to succeed at this tast I. E. A potty of his size, no long t-shirts etc.

As a mother I can tell you, my feelings go to them, imagine must be hard to accept that your must loved treasure will have a challenging life. And I'm sure they will want to push him up as much as they can so, he can gain independence and survive in this world. I admire his mother for loving him and making sure he doesn't get treated in any different way. A child that is looked for his virtues rather for what he can't do ;0)

Ebhappydc, I used to look the process of training the same way before, time, pulling pants up, washing hands etc. When I took to analize it actually worked in my favor.

1. Diapering, I need to wash my hands before, set the change table, lift the baby up to change, then again lift to put him on the floor, bag and dispose the diaper, wash his hands, disinfect the change table wash my hands.

2. Almost trained or in process, pants down they sit on their own, wipe pants up and wash hands. (I do wash hands at their level, no lifting involved)

About telling you or verbalizing. The expressive language develops slowly compared with the receptive language, he can clearly understand but not express yet. I have my little ones potty trained before their language, we just follow routines at first and then suddenly they find the way to let you know. If you observe their behaviour you will know.

And yes, if you want to change or clarify in your policy you should. I have friends who clearly explain that, they "do not potty train".

Anyway, thank you so much again. And good luck with that little angel:0)