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  1. #1

    Should I terminate or wait for her to get better?

    Hello,

    (I think I posted this in the wrong section, so here it is...I am looking for advice, please.)
    I run a family daycare and need some advice please. I have a 2 y o girl who started a couple of months ago, attends 5 days, but only 5.5-6 hours daily (she is picked up shortly after lunch). She is a nice happy girl, for the most part. But I have 2 problems with her. Firstly, she has been very demanding lately, does not want to share toys, or I should say rips out EVERY toy from other children's hands and then tries to run away with it. My efforts have been unsuccessful so far, she does not listen to rationale, reasoning, consequences, or books about sharing. I even tried time-outs which I am not a fan of. She is an only child, but I have other children here (only child too) who play nicely at age 2.
    Secondly, she has only napped with me a couple of times but I ended up rubbing her back for about 30 minutes. This was about a month ago. She will be increasing to full days now, which means nap time. She is already in tears and calling for her mama just after lunch and I have tried a couple of times to put her down (as she was tired), but no luck. I have tried singing, music, white noise, rubbing her back for 5 minutes, but she just screams, and gets up. She angrily throws her doll or stuffies out. I put her in a play pen, but she can easily climb out and she DOES climb out, even if I put her back for the 15th time. I already took her out of the naproom, as she wakes up everyone in the entire house.
    I am at a loss. I am not going to rub her back for 30 minutes, I only did that twice on her first week.
    She co-sleeps at home and this is her first daycare experience. And we spend lots of time outdoors, she is tired I can tell.
    Do you have any advice? Thank you

  2. #2
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    Her tiredness will contribute to a lot of the behavior you are seeing and co-sleeping is a personal bane of mine to the extent I will not accept co-sleeping children until that habit has been stopped at home and broken.

    It is totally unreasonable for a parent to co-sleep with a child and then expect a group care situation to deal with their child being understandably confused by being placed in a bed while awake to sleep unattended. It's also totally unreasonable for a co-sleeping parent to expect the group care provider to enable a habit that means other children are unsupervised.

    I would be explaining to the parents that you cannot supervise the other children in your care while rubbing their child's back because she doesn't have the skills to settle herself to sleep. Likewise, I would explain that sleeping is very key to the developmental needs of young children not just their child but the others who are all being disturbed by their child's inability to sleep.

    As a parent, they are meant to be teaching their child the skills they need to be independent but co sleeping is the very definition of making a child entirely dependent on a set of circumstances all being perfect.

    Let the parent know why this cannot be facilitated in group care and explain to them once she is able to sleep independently, in her own bed, without being rocked and cradled, then she can extend her day to full day. But until then, it's not possible to give her the level of attention this habit is requiring. She is 2 years old! Odds are she is already not the youngest child in your care. If she is, odds are in a few short months, she won't be the youngest. How is it reasonable that they expect you to not only ignore the needs of all the older children but also ignore the needs of younger children transitioning in, when your whole focus is on their child due to a habit they were too lazy to break.

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