Frustrating parents

[carla]

We have a parent in our center who has something everyday to say about some concern, bother or just general statement. She stated her 2 year old has a cavities and asked the room staff to brush his teeth. room staff tried at lunch child got very mad and would not let the staff do it. staff talked to the parent about it and explained that we could not force the child to do it due to licencing. the mother stated i don't care what licencing has to say it needs to be done.

anyway she came this morning with the childs lunch( we do not provide lunch) the child was helping himself to junk food (rice krispie squares, chocolate cookies) we are a no junk food center. i as the director was in the classroom and went over and took the food away and stated we have cereal and apples on the table for breakfast. junk food is not ok. child started to cry. i sat with him and comforted him he did eat cheerios and apples after mom left the class.

do you have any sugestions on what to do with a mom like this.

i have asked her not to come through the staff room she ignores it

she wants us to peel the older childs apple because she will not eat the peel( she does at daycare)

she sends no veggies because her child will not eat them (she does at daycare) but complains the dr has stated her child is overweight.

i am at my wits end with this mom. any advise is appreciated

[playfelt]

We have the same kind of problems in home daycare but unlike a centre can let an overbearing parent go just because we dont' want to deal with their issues anymore. I am lucky in that I have a reception area at the front of my house and then a door that goes into the rest of the house which I have a gate on. Parents don't get past that gate unless I let them. In my home, parents ring the bell and I open the door - they don't just walk in. Love what kids will eat or do at daycare but act helpless for the parents.

Might be time to send home a new list of what is acceptable and what is not and to a certain extent find that line between what is and isn't. A rice krispie square or a granola bar is better than oreo cookies. If it is going to be an issue than lunches need to be checked at the door and unacceptable items removed. You might want to institute a fee for providing so if a granola bar is removed and the bag has no fruit the parents pays a quarter for an apple from the bowl.

Could you switch to a part provided lunch where parents send just the sandwich a piece of fruit and you provide the veggie tray and offer a milk program. That way you know kids are getting what the parents don't think they eat.

You also have to be careful of our definitions of junk food too given what is and what is not acceptable for the public schools. I had issues with my son when he was in grade one because he hated sandwiches so I used to make him muffins. If I put butter on it he was allowed to eat it but if I put jam or nutella (back before the nut ban days) he was not till I called the principal and complained. That teaspoon of jam did not take away from the nutritional value of that bran muffin and assured the entire thing was eaten. Homemade oatmeal raisin cookies were painted with the same stripes as the icing filled oreo cookies. If your lunches are to be very specific then time to remind parents what can go in the bag - one sandwich, one fruit, one vegetable and one dairy and nothing else. Then have a dumping grounds for unacceptable foods and a purchase option for proper foods.

Back to the parent in this case the lunch is onlhy a minor part of the issues. She has decided that she is above the rules and regulations - likely has a high profile career where she is the boss and is having a hard time being bossed so to speak. Instead of just asking her not to something next time which she obviously can't remember stop her in her tracks at that moment saying escuse me but parents don't come past this point. Then if you stand in her way she is less likely to push past you which if she does means she would be better finding her own nanny to boss around and not having her child in the centre.

[carla]

she does not have a high paying job nor is she the boss. she is attending school to learn how to go back to school. she has her level 1 in childcare and wants me to hire her which i will not for obvious reasons (she does nto care what licenign says). Rice krispie squares are a junk food we think that they are ok because of the rice krispies but the marshmellow that is added is pure sugar. http://www.livestrong.com/article/39...ispies-treats/ she compains constantly of her childs weight and health then feeds them junk. i decided to copy a list of acceptable food with menus. if it continues i will just remove the junk from his lunch and give it back to her at the end of the day. It is just so much easier for parents to send processed pre packaged food for childen. Which is frustrating because an apple and a sandwhich are just as easy.

One last thing if we were to tell parents they could not come past a certain point in the daycare we would be in trouble with accreditation and licencing. oh and we do supliment meals if the child does not come with the 3 food groups as we supply milk with lunch

[Skysue]

she does not have a high paying job nor is she the boss. she is attending school to learn how to go back to school. she has her level 1 in childcare and wants me to hire her which i will not for obvious reasons (she does nto care what licenign says). Rice krispie squares are a junk food we think that they are ok because of the rice krispies but the marshmellow that is added is pure sugar. http://www.livestrong.com/article/39...ispies-treats/ she compains constantly of her childs weight and health then feeds them junk. i decided to copy a list of acceptable food with menus. if it continues i will just remove the junk from his lunch and give it back to her at the end of the day. It is just so much easier for parents to send processed pre packaged food for childen. Which is frustrating because an apple and a sandwhich are just as easy.

One last thing if we were to tell parents they could not come past a certain point in the daycare we would be in trouble with accreditation and licencing. oh and we do supliment meals if the child does not come with the 3 food groups as we supply milk with lunch

You must enforce a fee then for the alternate lunch. If they don't provide a healthy lunch then charge an additional fee. she will smarten up!

Also in regards to her child oral hygine that is 100% her responsability!

[carla]

We are not allowed to charge a fee for providing appropriate lunches. It is a accreditation requirement to supplement lunches

[mom-in-alberta]

Sounds like the most you can do is draw up a very specific list of acceptable vs. unacceptable foods. And then, can you document each time these "no" foods are packed? Start sending a notice home each time. Or speaking with her personally. After a little while, hopefully she just bends and packs appropriate stuff.
As for the other issues, it seems like she has a pretty abrasive personality.... no cure for that, unfortunately! LoL